I have a 2013 iMac with a spinning disk which replaced a 2009 MacBook Pro that had a spinning disk. I didn't get a fusion drive in it at the time because it was an emergency upgrade for work. I needed to walk out of the store that very day with a computer, and stores only stock base models. So no option to upgrade to fusion or SSD without waiting on the mail. I have also since acquired a 2013 15" MacBook Pro with SSD. And a 2015 13" MacBook Pro with the newer SSD. I also have a couple older minis with spinning disk.
All have 8GB or 16GB RAM. Two of them are even 2013 models with comparable processors. The only real factor differentiating the performance of these machines is the storage device. And it's a night and day difference. The SSD machines are impeccable computers. They uphold the Apple prestige no question. The spinning disk iMac is a piece of crap. Unsleeping it takes forever. Starting any app takes forever. Saving files takes forever. Loading web pages takes forever. All of these actions hit the disk, and it bottlenecks the whole computer. It makes using it very frustrating and painful. And it's been noticeably slow since day 1.
What's really sad is that it's not even entirely the fault of the disk. I've been using computers casually and professionally since the mid 90s. They've all had spinning disks until these most recent machines. But not all those old computers were slow garbage. The most telling example was when I replaced my 2009 MBP with the 2013 27" iMac. The iMac was actually slower overall.. because of the operating system. Newer OSXs hit the disk a lot more. They actually need SSDs just to equal the overal user experience of a years older machine running Snow Leopard and a spinning disk.
I get what you're saying about needing an established expectation in order to perceive the relative slowness. For me, having used tons of previous computers, the slowness of newer OSXs running on a spinning disk was glaringly obvious compared to Snow Leopard or Windows XP or 7 on a spinning disk. I instantly felt the difference going from Snow Leopard to Mountain Lion, and later upgrading to Mavericks made me practically stop using that iMac. Yosemite was no better. The only think that stops me from saying that Apple makes terrible computers is having gotten SSD machines in this last year. Apple's SSD based computers are great. It's unfortunate that OSX effectively requires SSD not to be a piece of crap, particularly since Apple will sell you one.
As for a Joe Blow buying his first computer, will he realize it's crappy? To your point? I don't know. I feel like he would, at least on some level. How could anyone not get frustrated at staring at the beach ball all the time, particularly when they forked over the big bucks for an Apple machine because of its reputation? There's still an expectation there, even if it's not based computer experience.
The problem is a cheap intel nuc with an ssd would feel faster to an average joe then a modern machine with an hdd. Hdds are largely 80's tech with a few advancements, nothing much is modern about them. And nowadays OS's are very advanced and require tons more from hdds as you said. The average joe WILL notice issues with the hdd.
There's reasons you upgrade, and a hdd, even a bigger one, is no upgrade. Upgrading while still using an hdd as a main drive is like buying a modern pc with 2-4 gigs ram. It's like buying an intel gpu to run 5k. It's like buying an old core 2 duo to run stuff that really needs quad core. Even if you got them to run it's going to do nothing but hang and be slow.
All that Apple accomplishes by doing this bull **** is tarnishing their reputation to people who don't understand computer lingo in the name of a few extra bucks in the short term. At the very least make the first option fusion.