A car that can crash in more than one way!

Discussion in 'Community' started by yoman, Feb 4, 2004.

  1. yoman macrumors 6502a

    yoman

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    #1
  2. yoman thread starter macrumors 6502a

    yoman

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    #2
    since we are talking about Microsoft and Cars I thought that I post this as well. A little joke!

    Quote from:

    http://www.cerebusjokes.com/read/48/Microsoft_car.html

    ________________
    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that :- "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Gates' comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.

    6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on five percent of the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

    10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
    _______________
     
  3. revenuee macrumors 68020

    revenuee

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    #3
    I remember that joke as being ... if Microsoft would make cars

    and then there was a part added that said

    Sun would make a better car ... but it would only work on 10% of the roads
     
  4. gwuMACaddict macrumors 68040

    gwuMACaddict

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    #4
    seen that a few times... just as funny as ever... :D
     
  5. themadchemist macrumors 68030

    themadchemist

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    #5
    Some of the other gadgets in the '9 gadgets you'll crave' or whatever it was called are a lot more interesting...The small hard drives and the DLP TVs for example...I have one of the Samsung DLPs, so it's even MORE interesting...They're really great.
     
  6. Mav451 macrumors 68000

    Mav451

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    #6
    What is DLP? And where the heck is the "Thin CRT" while we're at it? there were rumors about this 3-4 years ago, and it looks like the Thin CRT will never get out.
     
  7. eyelikeart Moderator emeritus

    eyelikeart

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  8. virividox macrumors 601

    virividox

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    #8
    they should havve done it to a ford...not a beamer...lovve the joke slays me each time
     
  9. themadchemist macrumors 68030

    themadchemist

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    #9
    DLP stands for Digital Light Projection. I'm not quite sure of the all the details, but I believe that instead of using the big bulky cathode ray tube, it uses a series of approximately 1 million mirrors to refract light onto the screen or some such. It's very cool. It may be, though, that the DLP mechanism operates similarly to the CRT because it is generally categorized as a type of CRT. However, because the mirror set-up is much smaller than the CRT, DLP TVs can be a LOT thinner.
     
  10. TEG macrumors 604

    TEG

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    #10
    Actually originally it was;

    Apple would make a car that was quiet, easy to use, get a thousand miles per gallon, but only work on 10% of the roads.

    Anyway, it should say that Sun would build most of the equipment for the DOT, with IBM, HP, Dell and Apple making the rest.
     
  11. rainman::|:| macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

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    #11
    BMW did an edition of their 7-series (i think) that ran a version of Windows, there's a site somewhere that details many humorous (and some dangerous) problems that arose for owners. Stuff like the lock system trapping people in the car, different systems going offline, etc. I can't find the site but hopefully someone knows what i'm talking about... The guy that runs the site actually made a video to send to BMW, showing how awful the finished product was.

    paul
     
  12. cocopelli macrumors member

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    #12
    you would think he would send the video to microsoft
     
  13. rainman::|:| macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

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    #13
  14. Powerbook G5 macrumors 68040

    Powerbook G5

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    #14
    And when the car crashes...what a way to bring true meaning to the term "fatal exception error"...
     
  15. 5300cs macrumors 68000

    5300cs

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    #15
    There's another quote I've seen somewhere that goes like this: "Sony will make things smaller, Apple will make things better and m$ will make money."
     
  16. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

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    #16
    bleh....and the only reference to Apple in the whole set of 10 items was the Portable Media Player, they said it was like the 'iPod'.....

    And Sony's VIAO Carbon Fiber laptop?

    D
     
  17. iGav macrumors G3

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    #17
    In Word when you type iDrive (Beemers Window powered, gadget nonsense) it offers 'drivel' as a correct spelling... sums it up I think. heheheh

    errrr.... okay, carry on... :p
     

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