A Sight To Behold

Discussion in 'Digital Audio' started by ldenman, Apr 19, 2006.

  1. ldenman macrumors regular

    Jul 20, 2005
  2. ldenman thread starter macrumors regular

    Jul 20, 2005
  3. iamhammill macrumors 6502


    Feb 20, 2006
    York, PA
    Pretty neat vocal effects, but it's hard to understand what you are saying. The music quaility is good. The drums could be a tad louder. What are you using to record?
  4. Peyton macrumors 68000


    Feb 2, 2006
    oh this was you? hmm, I did listen but its not my style, I think the beginning is too bland and hard to get into. once it starts going its better. I thought it was an instrumental at first and the voice was a bit jarring.

    not bad first effort. maybe make the words a little more clear. I am into music licensing actually. Its not that there isn't a market for this, its that there are more refined versions of this already. keep creating
  5. faintember macrumors 65816


    Jun 6, 2005
    the ruins of the Cherokee nation
    As a composer(just finishing my masters) here is my critique:

    MIDI sucks...so thats all i will say on that subject; i will relegate my discussion to the music at hand.

    I like the beginning, however the bell sound is a bit distracting. It may be better served starting down one octave in order to blend better with the violin/accordion (srry...cant tell b/c of the MIDI) sound. Save the upper octave on the bells to increase tension/draw attention to the sound later in the composition once the song is more complex rhythmically/texturally. On the other hand, i believe that the bell sound would be better served played by a vibraphone or crotales in order to add some resonance to the sound. Bells sets/glocks tend to decay quite quickly unless you have access to a very expensive set.

    The electronic voice is nice. I actually quite like it, however instead of being a Steven Hawking voice, maybe it should be a real voice ran through a phase vocoder and maybe through a distortion pedal as well in order to obtain the "robot" like quality. This will help with the issue of clarity (which really is distraction at this time). The addition of a distortion quality to the robot voice will allow for the the words to be clear when you want, but when the distortion is added it can obscure the text in a good way. For instance, the repeated phrase "love, it will be much better" would be nice if the last repetition or so had an increasing bit of distortion on them. Also, there is 40 seconds (give or take) before the voice comes in. Not really a concern to me, but if this is aimed at a pop audience, then it probably will to them. The "love it will be much better" lyric really works well. Dont screw with the rhythmic quality of it!

    There is an "instrumental break" a little past half way in the song, and then resumes with the "love" repetition. The issue here is that the instrumental break really doesnt do anything special, other than provide a break. Think about altering the instrumentation here, adding an additional instrument (flute, ocarina), etc. Not a major deal, but might add some flavor to the composition and add timbral interest.

    Towards the end of the song, the violin/accordion starts to do some "improvisitory" sounding figures. Either take a better look at them or trash them totally. They do not fit the previous style of the piece, and really annoyed me. Maybe the repetition of "i know" goes on for a bit too long at the end of the song. Also, dont cut off the last strum before the last two "i know's"; rather let the strings ring and silence them at the end of the last "i know" or do not play the last short strummed figure and end on the chord before that instead. The piece itself might be a bit long, so think about pairing it down to just the necessities. At the current length it seems a bit too static.

    I am not trying to be hard with my previous comments, just stating my general concerns. The combination of the thematic material and the electronic voice really works well though. The idea of old meeting new can be a interesting mix, and in this context it really works. Good job and keep working and refining. Good to see a fellow NC person on here as well!
  6. ldenman thread starter macrumors regular

    Jul 20, 2005
    thanks so much for that information. It will help a lot. I am going to redo the song at some point, i have just been a bit on the lazy side. Thanks for taking the time to write that up and really break it down for me.

  7. beatsme macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2005
    that melody

    is that a violin? It sounds a lot like a late-60's Mellotron. At any rate, I think you might do well to score a violin section rather than just rely on a one-note melody...it's a bit jarring.

    On a personal note, I probably would've used an organ or electric piano for that part...that's just me.

    conversely, if you want to retain the "one-note" feel of it, maybe a switch to clarinet or oboe would work better...or cello. I say this because you've got the brassy mids pretty well covered with the guitar, so something with a little more "depth" would probably work better.

    nice job though...it's tough to finish a piece. I've got 3 or 4 in various stages which hopefully will get done...eventually.

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