Alexander

Discussion in 'Community' started by jasylonian, Nov 25, 2004.

  1. jasylonian macrumors regular

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    #1
    This movie is so bad that I must tell people not to watch it. Literally, this movie caused me physical pain and I have officially dubbed it "THE WORST MOVIE, EVER!" I would not wish this experience upon my worst enemy (okay, maybe I would). There is just so much that is awful about this movie that I do not know where to start. I'm going to take some painkillers and go to bed now.
     
  2. OryHara macrumors regular

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    #2
    i havnt seen it but i doubt it sucked more than "day after tomorrow"
     
  3. G5orbust macrumors 65816

    G5orbust

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    #3
    Saw it today. So bad its beyond the capabilities of the english language to describe.
     
  4. munkle macrumors 68030

    munkle

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    #4
    What was so bad about it? The historical bastardisation, a la 'Troy', or just awful acting? Surely Angelina Jolie makes it a tad bearable?! ;) :p Actually from what I remember of the trailer she has a very annoying accent in it.
     
  5. Chappers macrumors 68020

    Chappers

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    #5
    Theres a surprise - Hollywood bastardising history again.
    Maybe Brad was the American in Troy who invented the enigma machine that was discovered by the Nazis (who only pretended to invent it) and recaptured by the Americans during WW2.
     
  6. madog macrumors 65816

    madog

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    #6
    Who ever thought? The king of the world was Irish!

    I doubt this movie even talks about his man-lover. I mean, if your going to delve into his past you might as well get in the nitty-gritty and pull out the good stuff.
     
  7. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #7
    Have you ever seen "Spawn", the movie based on the comic? Damn, that was bad. I think I was trying to slit my wrists halfway through that bag of crap. Super Troopers is another flop.
     
  8. munkle macrumors 68030

    munkle

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    #8
    I think the film does delve into the other side of his sexuality, and there being some outrage over it.
     
  9. WinterMute Moderator emeritus

    WinterMute

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    #9
    No film that has Dina Meyer naked in the shower is all bad... :D :D ;)
     
  10. edesignuk Moderator emeritus

    edesignuk

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    #10
    However bad it is, it can't be as bad as "Torque". Worst. Film. Ever.
     
  11. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #11
    I had to IMDB that name just to know who she was.

    Anyway, I'm talking about Super Troopers, not Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers can't possibly be on the "Worst of" list.
     
  12. WinterMute Moderator emeritus

    WinterMute

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    #12
    Ahem... "Streetfighter" *cough, cough*
     
  13. jasylonian thread starter macrumors regular

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    sacramento
    #13
    ok, now that i've had some time to sober up and my had has stopped throbbing, i'm going to try something of a list.

    1) The writing is absolutely atrocious. If Alexander had really given these speeches, his army would have turned tail and gone home a lot earlier.

    2) Alexander's sexuality is definitely delved into. In fact, after the first hour, you will scream, "We get it, already! He's gay! Can we have some movie, now?"

    3) The accents. Why? It's not like the ancient Greeks spoke English, so why are they trying to muddle everything up by giving them accents?

    4) The performances. Not a single decent acting job. Everybody involved in this monstrosity should be fired and Academy Awards should be revoked.

    5) The Rosario Dawson "Extreme Ficky Fick" Scene. This movie made me hate sex.

    6) The movie skipped over everything that made Alexander great.

    7) Whether or not Oliver Stone admits it, this movie has its political moments. And they are awful.

    8) Seriously, the sexuality. When people get upset about the sexuality, it isn't because they are homophobic. It is simply because it seriously interferes with the plot (which there is very little of). Alexander becomes a whimpering, whiny jerkface who should be slapped around by his horse.

    If you're not convinced that this is the worst movie, ever, please read all of the reviews. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 14% and those 14% were all backhanded slaps at the movie. I cannot live knowing that I did not do everything in my power to prevent people from watching this. Do not watch it thinking that it's bad and unintentionally funny. This is painful bad.
     
  14. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

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  15. munkle macrumors 68030

    munkle

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    #15
    So you were the one that watched it! :p :D
     
  16. jasylonian thread starter macrumors regular

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    #16
    I haven't seen Gigli, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't 178 minutes of pure agony.
     
  17. apple2991 macrumors 6502

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    #17
    I have seen Gigli, my girlfriend and I rented it as a joke. What wasn't a joke was that we both literally felt extremely physically ill and dizzy after watching it. And, no, it wasn't something we ate.
     
  18. WinterMute Moderator emeritus

    WinterMute

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    #18
    Yeah, sorry, I mis-read your post, you're right on both counts.

    However, not knowing who Dina Meyer is could be a criminal offence... ;)
     
  19. DanTekGeek macrumors 6502

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    #19
    i could tell from the trailers that the acting was horrible. its good to know that its a package deal, and not just one or two things about it that suck. ;)
     
  20. virividox macrumors 601

    virividox

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    #20
    oh well its too bad that they took a good idea and messed it up
     
  21. Royal Pineapple macrumors 65816

    Royal Pineapple

    #21
    i didnt mind it so much, it was worth the time i payed, though not the ticket price
     
  22. raiderz182 macrumors regular

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    Oct 17, 2003
    Location:
    north philly
    #22
    how can yoou guys talk about worst movies ever without mentioning bulletproof monk.......

    random comment : other recent movies i saw lately that sucked big ones - saw & the forgotten
     
  23. pseudobrit macrumors 68040

    pseudobrit

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    #23
    Here's hoping they didn't set up a sequel.

    I'm going to see Ray tomorrow instead.
     
  24. Jalexster macrumors 6502a

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    Jun 8, 2004
    #24
    I liked Bulletproof Monk. And I liked Super Troopers. Everyone has an opinion. I have one.
     
  25. absolut_mac macrumors 6502a

    absolut_mac

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    #25
    Really?

    That bad huh?

    So now you're off to join a monastery?

    PS I'm surprised that no one mentioned Runaway Bride as another one of the too many dismal ones out there. Come to think of it, I guess there are way too many to mention them all.
     

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