Are you proud to be British?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by XIII, May 9, 2006.

  1. XIII macrumors 68040

    XIII

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Location:
    England
    #1
    I got forwarded this, and I actually thought it was quite funny. Quite possibly the statistics are made up, but ho humm. :p

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
    a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or
    a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
    American shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

    Oh and......

    -Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
    ambulance.

    -Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
    way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while
    healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    -Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
    fries and a DIET coke.

    -Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the
    pens to the counters.

    -Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on
    the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    -Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls
    and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
    didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    -Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of
    a skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION...

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
    shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
    pulling accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
    out of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
    lit cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
    after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of
    Control Scalextric cars.
    and finally.........

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
    toilet.

    Heh :D
     
  2. Ashapalan macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    England
    #2
    :eek: Hows that work then?
     
  3. UKnjb macrumors 6502a

    UKnjb

    Joined:
    May 23, 2005
    Location:
    London, UK
    #3
    All seems very reasonable and --- British --- me. And thanks for giving those stats; I was reassured to see that I wasn' the only one to get injured by the Scalextric cars. Such a bummer. :) And you mean that the Christmas decorations AREN'T chocolate. *sigh - another illusion down the pan*
     
  4. dcv macrumors G3

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    #4
    Pretty funny... I'm not so sure it's "only" in Britain though...
     
  5. XIII thread starter macrumors 68040

    XIII

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Location:
    England
    #5
    Yeah.. you'd usually expect these statistics to be said about Americans. :p
     
  6. dcv macrumors G3

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    #6
    I'd expect those to be worse :D
     
  7. AP_piano295 macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2005
    #7
    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
    fries and a DIET coke.

    deffinitely happens ina america 2... but here we blame fatness on glands.
     
  8. Eraserhead macrumors G4

    Eraserhead

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2005
    Location:
    UK
    #8
    Your tongue tingles if the battery is working.:)
     
  9. iGav macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #9
    It's a bit more than a tingle... :p
     
  10. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2004
    Location:
    Grand Rapids, MI, USA
    #10
    *makes two distinct Monty Python voices*

    A: I'm proud to be British!

    B: You're not British. You're an Ammmmerican.

    A: Oh, right. I'm not proud to be British.

    B: No, you're *not* British.

    A: Oh, right then. I'm proud not to be British.

    B: No, no, no...bloody American....

    :D

    *loves our UK peeps*
     
  11. XIII thread starter macrumors 68040

    XIII

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Location:
    England
    #11
    Time to test...! :cool:
     
  12. iGav macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #12
    Go get a fresh one from the shops so you get the full effect. ;) and make sure you tounge is nice and wet too. :D
     
  13. XIII thread starter macrumors 68040

    XIII

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Location:
    England
    #13
    Thanks for the handy hints. :)
     
  14. iGav macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #14
    Always a pleasure. Also if you've got a video phone, could you film it. ;) :D
     
  15. XIII thread starter macrumors 68040

    XIII

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2004
    Location:
    England
    #15
    Happy sl... death?
     
  16. mcarnes macrumors 68000

    mcarnes

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2004
    Location:
    USA! USA!
    #16
    All of this is accurate except the part about being injured by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. The actual number is not that high.
     
  17. virividox macrumors 601

    virividox

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Location:
    Manila - Nottingham - Philadelphia - Santa Barbar
    #17
    funny stuff...but def not limited to british ppl
     
  18. Spanky Deluxe macrumors 601

    Spanky Deluxe

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, UK
    #18
    Oh dear. I've only ever owned German cars. I only ever drink Belgian beer, my favourite foods are currys and pizzas. All of my furniture was made in Scandinavian countries and my TV at home is a Sony. Seriously.

    I also always get a diet coke with my take away food, regularly test 9v batteries on my tongue (my girlfriend thinks I'm crazy), regularly use sharp knives instead of screwdrivers and have been known to open bottles of beer with my teeth. Its all about improvisation though, that must be a british thing!!
     
  19. shambolic macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2003
    Location:
    Staten Island, NY
    #19
    Whereas over in America, PHARMACIES make sick people walk to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    After five years here (I'm an ex-pat proud Brit), I still can't quite get my head around that one..
     
  20. iGav macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #20
    Americans have to walk??? :eek: you'd have thought they'd have implemented those moving floors like at airports en masse by now. heh.
     
  21. mcarnes macrumors 68000

    mcarnes

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2004
    Location:
    USA! USA!
    #21
    Dude, I walk all the time. But it's more for recreation. For fun.
     
  22. Gnorn macrumors regular

    Joined:
    May 7, 2006
    Location:
    The Tavern, Thornwood
    #22
    Ehm... little BTTF reference there? :)

    Anyhow, we all love the British. How could you not love them? :)
     
  23. jamesi macrumors 6502a

    jamesi

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2005
    Location:
    Davis CA
    #23
    while i may not be a native brit, its in my family line so i can have a lil english pride then
     
  24. sunfast macrumors 68020

    sunfast

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2005
    Location:
    London
    #24
    Those facts are hilarious! And crazily they're believable.

    Anyway, I'm British and and I'd say I'm proud of it most of the time.
     

Share This Page