Chuck Norris... Jokes

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by lozanoj83, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. lozanoj83 macrumors 6502a

    lozanoj83

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    #1
    I searched in the forums.. and all i found were some jokes in the archive land...
    so I wanted to start up the Chuck Norris Joke Thread :D
    so just put sum of your favorite Chuck Norris jokes..

    Here's my joke:
    While in an orchard an apple fell on Chuck Norris's head, he roundhouse kicked it and created what we now call apple computers.
     
  2. j26 macrumors 65832

    j26

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    #2
    Chuck goes killing, not hunting, as hunting implies possible failure.

    When Chuck went to France on holidays they surrendered, just in case.
     
  3. Electro Funk macrumors 65816

    Electro Funk

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    #3
    There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
     
  4. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #4
    A doctor tapped Chuck Norris's knee to test his reflexes and Chuck Norris kicked him so hard that the doctor is orbiting Neptune.
     
  5. Cybix macrumors 6502a

    Cybix

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  6. TheDance511 macrumors 6502

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    #6
    Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
     
  7. Teh Don Ditty macrumors G4

    Teh Don Ditty

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    #7
    The mother of all Chuck Norris Jokes or Facts....

    Link!
     
  8. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #8
    If Chuck Norris were to eat sushi, he would poop out Pat Morita.
     
  9. Teh Don Ditty macrumors G4

    Teh Don Ditty

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    #9
    One of my favorites:

    Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero
     
  10. Schnebar macrumors 6502

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    #10
    Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
     
  11. FF_productions macrumors 68030

    FF_productions

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    #11
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
     
  12. Teh Don Ditty macrumors G4

    Teh Don Ditty

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  13. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #13

    The original has a longer list. ;)


    "Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing."
     
  14. DISCOMUNICATION macrumors 6502a

    DISCOMUNICATION

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    #14
    When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
     
  15. Schnebar macrumors 6502

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    #15
    my fav 2


    Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

    Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the **** Chuck Norris is.
     
  16. Teh Don Ditty macrumors G4

    Teh Don Ditty

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    #16
    According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

    The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
     
  17. Electro Funk macrumors 65816

    Electro Funk

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    #17
    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
     
  18. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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  19. Teh Don Ditty macrumors G4

    Teh Don Ditty

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  20. jenn221 macrumors member

    jenn221

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    #20
    Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
     
  21. notjustjay macrumors 603

    notjustjay

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    #21
    I think this is my favourite Chuck Norris related link on the web :)
     
  22. ravenvii macrumors 604

    ravenvii

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    #22
    The dinosaurs pissed Chuck Norris off once. Once.
     
  23. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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    #23
    Chuck Norris really can't act but everyone says he can so they don't get kicked in the head.:p
     
  24. P-Worm macrumors 68020

    P-Worm

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    #24
    Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

    P-Worm
     
  25. jlcharles macrumors 6502

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    #25
    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
     

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