Coronor Report: Post mortum of a Christmas Tree

Discussion in 'Community' started by stubeeef, Dec 7, 2004.

  1. stubeeef macrumors 68030

    stubeeef

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2004
    #1
    It was a nice Christmas tree, it never complained. It's majestic limbs held the treasures of time, years of family ornaments, handed down from generation to greatful generation.

    Oh, the tinsel did shine, and the lights accented it's graceful lines. It was 10 feet tall and guarded the fireplace, it was planning on what it would say to Santa on the majical night. It would guard the presents of 3 lil girls, who BELIEVE in the majic of giving and the majic of Christmas.

    Yes it was a royal and majestic tree, picked from the mountains and driven to it's place of honor.

    TILL THE FRICKEN SCREWS IN THE BASE GAVE WAY, AND IT WAS THE FLIGHT OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!!!!

    Splattered on the floor and furniture, ornaments fragmented like smashed pumpkins, shards of glass in furnature and carpet. The sound was such a clatter that we rushed to the scene to see what was amatter! And what did our wondering eyes see? An insurance claim waiting to be.

    I just spent the last couple of hours de-decorating and putting the tree outside.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2003
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    #2
    A little early, but very enjoyable!

    Thanks
     
  3. stubeeef thread starter macrumors 68030

    stubeeef

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2004
    #3
    It may not be obvious but our tree just fell over!
     
  4. brap macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Location:
    Nottingham
    #4
    Um. You have Tree insurance?

    Or is your house policy some kind of acts-of-God-proof thing?

    Sorry, that bit caught me out. Cute rhyme though.
     
  5. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2003
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    #5
    Sorry, I missed that! Bummer...

    I guess that is why i have one of those 3' pre-done trees on a table.... :D
     
  6. realityisterror macrumors 65816

    realityisterror

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Location:
    Snellville, GA
    #6
    aww.. where's the after picture??? i'm the mood to point and laugh... :p

    reality
     
  7. stubeeef thread starter macrumors 68030

    stubeeef

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2004
    #7
    well here it is on the deck, waiting for the coroner.
     

    Attached Files:

  8. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #8
    Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I have a good use for your tree, something we've been doing every year now, since 1999.... (bottom right movie link)

    :D

    D
     
  9. blackfox macrumors 65816

    blackfox

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2003
    Location:
    PDX
    #9
    Sorry to hear about your misfortune Stu.

    I think you may have emotionally-scarred your children. Speaking of, they are delightful, although all in the same outfits makes them look like triplets.

    What are their ages? Looks like the 6-10 age to me, which is the best time to appreciate the magic of Christmas.

    As for the tree, why has it been put outside? Could you not just re-screw in the base? Or buy a sturdier holder for the trunk? Are you to blame for the original sub-par <ahem> securing of the tree? Is it permanently damaged? Or is it being punished?

    shame about the loss of your heirloom ornaments, I know my parents have some ancient ornaments. Mine, on the otherhand, are cheap and new.

    guess gravity is the grinch this year for you.
     
  10. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #10
    Um... which link? Have I once again started reading the forums without enough coffee, or is there no link?
     
  11. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #11
    I'm having issues posting the link - it is quite weird...

    D
     
  12. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
  13. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #14
    The only thing you need to remember is to save your tree for 6 months so you can have a nice, dried out, ready to burn tree on the 21st of June :D

    We did a really large one a couple years ago - you could feel the heat from far away....

    D
     
  14. apple2991 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    May 20, 2004
    #15
    Ca-reeeeeeeeepy!
     
  15. blackfox macrumors 65816

    blackfox

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2003
    Location:
    PDX
    #16
    eh?
     
  16. stubeeef thread starter macrumors 68030

    stubeeef

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2004
    #17
    Actually the kids have their own tree upstairs for their entertainment.
    My girls are 6-7 & 8!!!
    The tree is huge , 10', it was a special tree stand for 10' trees. The screws thread through a plastic base. One of the top four stripped out and the tree leaned enough to have a cg problem, and crashed. I could be to blame, but may sue the manufacturer for not protecting me from myself! The base is shot ergo, no way to keep the tree up. I own a small storage facility, and a christmas store used a unit, went out of business and gave me their inventory for floating them 6 months. So I well put up one of the 9' fakes this weekend. I am in Portland Me this morning come back again tomorrow, and saint louis friday, no time to do it now. The tree is a victim, not being punished.
    Thanks.
     
  17. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #18
    I can remember having a tree fall over as a child. Luckily my Dad was able to right the tree again. All was well, after some adjustment of the decorations, would have never known of the incident.

    I hope that you will be able to get another tree. They are a thing of beauty.
     
  18. Hemingray macrumors 68030

    Hemingray

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Location:
    Ha ha haaa!
    #19
    Bwahaha!! :D That's the best mistakenly inappropriate reply ever.

    I am sorry to hear about that, stubeeef. What a pain! Did you guys just lose ornaments or did it wreck furniture and stuff?
     
  19. rainman::|:| macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    Location:
    iowa
    #20
    yeah, if you're going to have a large, real tree, the base is key. I've seen some heavy-duty ones being sold at Home Depot and the like, make sure there's no plastic parts! My dad always insists on a big (10-11') tree, he's made a special stand out of two old-fashioned metal stands, and a bunch of wire. Once the trunk is more than 6" thick, you need to use the bottom branches to help stabilize it... or a lot of really good woodscrews (but screwholes above the waterline will result in a much quicker 'death' for the tree)...

    live and learn :)

    paul
     
  20. StarbucksSam macrumors 65816

    StarbucksSam

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2004
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    #21
    That like.. sucks. Man, I'm sorry. Well there are still a few weeks till Christmas so don't let that ruin it for ya. Hope your kids get over the loss of their favorite ornaments. :(
     

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