crappy roommates and people who live with them

Discussion in 'Community' started by bombensington, May 26, 2003.

  1. macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    #1
    i am going through a totally annoying situation with a roommate.

    basically, she used to be my best friend...then one day she snapped. she doesn't like one of my other friends, and when she found him in my room one day, she flipped out and said she was calling the police...seriously he has never given her a reason to call the police.

    so now she's threatened to file a restraining order against him and write a letter to the apartment managers saying that i let him smoke pot in the apt...which isn't true. she told me she wants me evicted. i don't see how that is possible since there are 4 of us on one lease, but whatever...

    she is crazy.

    thank god the lease runs out july 31.

    does anyone else have any crazy roommate stories?
     
  2. Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2002
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    Kepler-452b
    #2
    People don't usually "snap" without cause. Maybe he and she (your male friend and your former best friend) have had an unpleasant interaction that neither of them told you about?

    You might want to check the fine print in the lease agreement to see what it says about having other people in the house. If you and your roommates are college students, there may be a legal aid office on campus that could be of assistance. If you prefer to handle it on your own, you might want to agree with your roommate to stay out of each other's way and have your male friend do the same.
     
  3. thread starter macrumors regular

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    Aug 24, 2002
    #3
    he's never liked her. he's always been not too happy because she hasn't treated me too well throughout our friendship...i am only just now realizing how crappy of a friend she was all along...i was just blind to it.

    but anyway, she found him in my room and started screaming at him - at the top of her lungs...she was saying some pretty nasty, undeserved things to him. things that no one deserves. some real low blows. he called her a bitch and walked out. that's it.

    yeah, i am getting a copy of the lease tomorrow, so i will check it for sure.

    i'm not a college student, but they are. i took some time off of school, but going back in the fall, so i can't use the campus legal services.

    he has no desire to ever see her again. so he's just not going to come over at all. which sucks because i feel like i should have a right to bring over whomever i want since my name is on the lease, but i hate drama so i'll just not have him there.
     
  4. macrumors 68000

    beatle888

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2002
    #4
    legally she doesnt have a leg to stand on when it comes to a restraining order, she has to have a reason. your landlord cant even do anything about it. even if you were smoking pot in your own house, the police or the landlord most likely wouldnt really care. plus she would need proof. right now its hearsay.

    put a lock on your door and tell her to mind her own business. i would suggest one of you moving out. if she wont than tell your landlord about the trouble shes causing you and ask if you can find someone to take over your part of the lease. you MIGHT be able to record her acting irrational and show it to your landlord, telling them that if they dont release you from your lease your only option is to take her to court and have the judge decide if its civil to keep you locked into the agreement under the circumstances.

    if you do this, no judge will excuse it. he will make one of you leave, making the landlord except the decision.

    dont just leave her there with your name still on the lease.
     
  5. macrumors 68020

    mymemory

    Joined:
    May 9, 2001
    Location:
    Miami
    #5
    When I was in the states I never had a good relation with my roomates. Actually was my worst experience with other humans in my life. I had roomates from the US and from my country. I made mistakes with an american one because you have to consider one thing:

    It is the first time we are living outside our houses and in the back of our mind we expect from every body to handle us as we do with our parents, the problem is that our roomates think the same, that is why most of the time they (and we) go to the extreme. The situations are really sick some times.

    I remember well that I move with a venezuelan guy and the next day he told me that he wanted to buy forniture and that I had to pay half for what he wanted, I told him I didn't have the money and I wasn't interested in getting forniture (I had a year already in the school and he had just a week in the US), he told me that he was tired of dealing with poor people and if I didn't want to buy anything I had to move out (do I have to tell he was momys only kid?). So, I got to that appartment a friday and by monday I was in another place. Another guy moved with him and 2 days later took all his money, counterfeited his signature and took $1000 from his bank account and dissapear.

    But with the other venezuelan guys it wasn't that much better, it was but not too much. I was very organized with the bills and they didn't pay rent on time or power bill, etc. The carpet of the appartment was very nasty. After I eat I use to wash the dishes but they do it at the end of the week! so every time I need to do something I had to wash what I need to use while they had everything clean by me, etc.

    Living with roomate is a pain because there is not actual "herarchy". It si not like living with your girlfriend or stuff. We pay 50/50 and we have equal rights, if I want to smoke pot you have to deal with it and if I want to have a party too.

    Roomates are a pain, specially when there is no money!
     
  6. macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #6
    Re: crappy roommates and people who live with them

    I'm sorry to hear about that problem that you are having bombensington. I hope that you will find the advice helpful. It sounds like your roommate needs to growup. Real life can truly be stanger than fiction!;)
     
  7. macrumors 6502a

    trebblekicked

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Location:
    Chicago, IL, USA
    #7
    Re: crappy roommates and people who live with them

    damn...that sucks. sorry! i've had a couple of nasty experiences w/ roomates. When i got my first apartment, i moved in with a friend from college. he was a good guy (and still is, i suppose) but he had hidden a nasty drug addiction from me and our other roomate. he contained his addiction for like three months, but began to unravel fast after that. he stole our stuff and sold it to pay for drugs, started dealing, etc etc. it got pretty ugly. i moved out mid-lease, and he got clean and last i heard was doing pretty well...

    the other story was basically an ****** for a roommate. he was such a jerk i decided paying rent at two places was better than staying there. i moved out and payed another 6 months rent, but retained my sanity at my own place.

    don't be a prisoner in your own house. it will drive you crazy. if you guys can't coexist, it's far better for you to split. good luck, and let us know how it turns out.
     
  8. thread starter macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    #8
    i totally agree - even if he did, there's no way to prove it! he allegedly did this when there was no one there but him. ha! good luck proving that one.

    i put a key lock on the door today, so that takes care of that. thank god she put one on her door too - i don't want her accusing me of stealing anything from her (not that she had anything anyway...i'm the one with the computer, dv cam, ipod, etc. in my room).

    as far as the court system is concerned...the lease runs out july 31 of this year - 2 months away. by the time she would file papers, they'd serve me, i'd contest it, they'd set a court date...it'd be time to move out.

    i highly doubt that she could make any of this stick, and i'm thinking a judge would just laugh in her face if she tried to bring any of this to court anyway - it's pretty minor as roommate squabbles go...i've not stolen anything of hers, i've not been late with bills. the worst thing i did was bring someone in the house that she didn't like. i would guess if (and that's a big if, i'm pretty sure she's just blowing smoke) she tries legal action they'll just tell us we have 2 months and to deal with it.

    i can certainly ignore her for 2 months.

    and besides...the other roommates are on my side about this anyway. they don't want the lease to be broken at all.

    thanks for your concern.

    i just know how to pick 'em, don't i?
     
  9. macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    Location:
    iowa
    #9
    Two things.

    First, in any given situation, you have a 90% chance that your roommate will NOT get along well for long. Especially since they're a pig. :D

    Secondly, NEVER have a friend for a roommate-- or even someone you know beforehand, because you've already established a relationship dynamic. Virtually always ends very badly... i've seen it many times (firsthand)...

    :)
    pnw
     
  10. thread starter macrumors regular

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    Aug 24, 2002
    #10
    oh how i've learned that lesson now. ;)

    but hey, i know from now on what to do.

    girls are so dramatic. i guess that's why i can get along with guys much better.
     
  11. macrumors 68020

    mymemory

    Joined:
    May 9, 2001
    Location:
    Miami
    #11
    I would say the oposite, know very well your roomate. I have some friends with some strange abits but I know I can deal with that in a roomate situation.

    About the girl, tell her to go for it, she have to prove everything, just when she realise all the paper work and time she have to spend she will live things like that if there is not some one at the court house that put her in her place first. I know that the system whant to take care of more important things than that one.

    After that I would tell her that I can suit her for stressing me out and triying to aply false charges on me, you have a case, she doesn't. Of course all of that is to make her see how paranohic and stupid she is acting.
     
  12. macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2002
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    I accidentally my whole location.
    #12
    Well I'm screwed then...

    Sh*t.

    Or maybe not...
     
  13. thread starter macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    #13
    just be careful. when you have people who've known each other for so long...they can get 'comfortable.'

    i remember the first time i moved out of my parents' house and into the dorms...the girl and i walked on eggshells, sort of, for a long time - for some reason, some people treat strangers they're living with better than their friends.
     
  14. macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2002
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    #14
    Ugh, I really wsh I hadn't posted that now that I think about it but whatever...it may turn out to be not what I thought but ahhhhh.....

    The thing is...right now in my life...ideally I would have a roommate as a friend since I'm going through a lot of crap now and the thing I need most right now is someone to talk to (in person, face to face) so a roommate/friend combo type thing would be better for my current situation I think but that's just me...heh, I haven't even talked to this person that I have in mind for a few months though so yeah..its complicated and none of this probably made any sense whatsoever but right now I don't feel like I have much as a choice since I don't feel I have anyone else to turn to....

    [​IMG]
     
  15. macrumors 68000

    beatle888

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2002
    #15
    i hope everything is alright. do you have any family to talk to? if not, try a councelor. just to unload. take it easy, life can really make one feel like sh*t and other times you feel like the man with the plan. just remember that "all things change" try to keep your head and spirits up. its times like these that you get to excercise your ability to pull yourself out of a difficult situation.

    just take it easy, one step at a time :)
     
  16. macrumors 68020

    G4scott

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    #16
    I'm going to be rooming with one of my friends from high school. I don't think we'll do too bad. We've had some arguments, and we're not really stingy about what each other does in the room...
     
  17. macrumors 603

    shadowfax

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #17
    i suspect that already-friends guys would have a much better chance of successful rooming than two already-friends girls. not to be mysogynistic, but girls seem to keep vendettas and be much more subtly poisonous when they fight. with a guy, usually you don't intrude on each other in such curious ways, and a fist fight solves things so much quicker :D

    but really, though. i think it depends on the person, whether you know them beforehand or not. i am one of those cleanly, meticulous people who avoids much talking and is bothered by, well, my sister's or anyone's habits of leaving crap everywhere. i know some friends with whom i know i would get along reasonably, and some i know i wouldn't.
     
  18. thread starter macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    #18
    i really think guys can be easier to live with than girls. there's just SO much drama to deal with girls.

    i'd rather live with all guys. not that i'm one of those wierd girls who always hates other girls, but...i just don't like girls' issues. it's so dumb to me.
     
  19. macrumors 603

    shadowfax

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #19
    hey look, someone agrees with me! i feel safer now :D
     
  20. macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2002
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    #20
    Heh, thanx for the support but people in my family are the first people I should talk to but the last I will (I know for a fact that many of them, [outside of my immediate family but others that are close] would flip and likely not talk to me for a long while) so yeah....I guess I should go talk to a counselor but I really feel that I should talk to someone I know and trust first before anybody else so....

    Anywayz, sorry for taking this off topic to rant about my personal life..[​IMG]

    Carry on.
     
  21. macrumors G4

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    #21

    Heh, I'm completely the opposite, I get along with other girls much better than guys, maybe it has to do with the fact that I hate men (well I hate everybody, just men more...[​IMG]) so that may have something to do with it...

    Edited to better convey sarcasm.
     
  22. macrumors 603

    shadowfax

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    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #22
    you probably get along with girls so well because you hate them, but not too much.
     
  23. macrumors G4

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    #23
    [​IMG]
     
  24. macrumors 68000

    beatle888

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2002
    #24
    :(
     
  25. macrumors 603

    shadowfax

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Houston, TX
    #25
    wtf?

    [​IMG]
     

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