Disgraced pastor Ted Haggard convinced he's now ''completely heterosexual''

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by leekohler, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. leekohler macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #1
    Oh wow. That was quick!

    http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid41803.asp

    A leading evangelist who admitted to ''sexual immorality'' following allegations of sex with a male prostitute is convinced he is ''completely heterosexual,'' said one of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling with the disgraced minister. The Rev. Ted Haggard, a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

    ''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

    Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced. He was also forced out from the 14,000 New Life Church that he founded years ago in his basement after Jones alleged Haggard paid him for sex and sometimes used methamphetamine when they were together. Haggard, who is married, has publicly admitted to ''sexual immorality.''

    The scandal disappointed Christian conservatives, whom President George W. Bush and other Republicans had counted on heavily in the run-up to the national legislative elections last November, which Democrats subsequently won.

    Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

    ''If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly,'' he said. ''We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened.''

    Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family has not decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.

    Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.

    ''This is a good place for Ted,'' Ware said. ''It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.''

    It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work. (AP)
     
  2. emw macrumors G4

    emw

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    #2
    He'll now be marketing his new Cure for Teh Gay™ DVD series.

    It'll be like those Buns of Steel videos where unless you already have buns of steel, you won't get them from the video.
     
  3. leekohler thread starter macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #3
    I doubt it. I think they no damn well he'll "slip" again and that's why they're recommending him for "secular work". I don't think anybody wants this guy anywhere near a pulpit again.
     
  4. Swarmlord macrumors 6502a

    Swarmlord

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    #4
    Did they have a laying of the hands ceremony on his johnson to cure its sinful ways? Lol!
     
  5. emw macrumors G4

    emw

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    #5
    Well there's at least one thing on which I can agree with them.
     
  6. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

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    #6
    Dangle some gay pr0n in front of him and see how long he stays "completely hetrosexual"!

    I don't buy it for a second.
     
  7. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #7
    So, now, he used to be gay? Is that possible?
     
  8. poopyhead macrumors 6502a

    poopyhead

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    #8
    It is obvious that the gay sex was simply a "mistake" spurred by his meth use.
     
  9. zimv20 macrumors 601

    zimv20

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    #9
    "It wasn't a constant thing.''

    what absolute crap. if someone is gay only when they have dick in them, then shouldn't they be hetero only when they've got their dick in a woman? i'm alone right now, does that make me asexual?
     
  10. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

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    #10
    One time, I caught teh gay and I stopped watching musicals and went on Atkins and it cleared right up. :rolleyes:™
     
  11. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

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    #11
    I think he's just another minister chasing big $$$ for doing nothing but reading words from a book that anyone can read. Religion is a big business, I bet he did DISCOVER he is heterosexual real quick.
     
  12. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #12
    Well put....
    [/sarcasm]

    I think there some lesbians out there who would take issue with your statement.
     
  13. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

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    #13
    LOL, just saw that. Funny Zim, I guess you are Asexual for the moment.:D
     
  14. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

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    #14

    I've been an 'asexual' for quite a while now...

    :(
     
  15. scem0 macrumors 604

    scem0

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    #15
    Oh man... What a douche.

    It's tempting to go with a spycam and seduce him. I think I'm his type too...

    e
     
  16. psychofreak Retired

    psychofreak

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    #16
    I never knew that teh gay was curable...you learn something new every day...
     
  17. leekohler thread starter macrumors G5

    leekohler

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    #17
    Umm, just so I'm not left out, where in the world did the term "teh gay" come from? It's funny as hell, but I must have missed it's origin. :)
     
  18. IJ Reilly macrumors P6

    IJ Reilly

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    #18
    Did he also get rid of his collection of Judy Garland DVDs?
     
  19. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

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    #19

    Yes. But the Barbra Streisand stays.
     
  20. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

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    #20
    Theres hope for everyone but how was he cured?
     
  21. poopyhead macrumors 6502a

    poopyhead

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    #21
    I'm sure we'll find out during his book tour in a couple of years.

    for a conservative preacher being gay isnt as lucrative as being a recovering homosexual with a 12 step program sanctioned by jesus himself
     
  22. psychofreak Retired

    psychofreak

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    #22
    Jesus (that guy who hates gays don't you know)
     
  23. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

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    #23
    You sure it was Jesus? I bet it was $$$
     
  24. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

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    #24

    Maybe he was out shopping and his elbowed accidentally brushed against the breast of a passing female shopper?

    Remember, the Good Lord moves in mysterious ways.
     
  25. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

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    #25

    Aren't they the same thing?

    (I'm going to Hell.)
     

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