Do you have friends of the opposite sex?

Discussion in 'Community' started by jade, Feb 8, 2005.

  1. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    May 3, 2003
    #1
    I am taking a survey. So here is the deal

    1. Do you have many friends of the oppsite sex?
    2. Of these friends, are they mostly exes or potentials? Or are they something else entireley?
    3. How often do you go out with these friends?
    4. What do you do with them, when you do hang out with them?

    Ok that's it. but here is the real question, can men and women be friends. Personally I have a pretty strange situtation, the guy friends I have typically become close to are gay or not my type. Guy friends who might have crossed into the "potential" side never last very long. And now I have an old friend on the "potential" side. When we met we went to the same parties and so on. These days he wants to "hang out." But I ask myself, who "hangs out" with their guy friends (of course or vice versa)

    Thanks for your thoughts.
     
  2. macrumors 68000

    AliensAreFuzzy

    Joined:
    May 30, 2004
    Location:
    Madison, WI
    #2
    Well, Personally I have a lot of girls with whom I am just friends. Not potentials or exes or anything (I've never even had a girlfriend). Just friends that I hang out with. You know, go out as a group to movies or coffee houses for studying or just to relax and talk. And I actually hang out with them quite a bit. Really, they are just people who I can talk to and they feel comfortable talking to me. It's really nice
     
  3. macrumors 604

    clayj

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    visiting from downstream
    #3
    1. Yes.
    2. Mostly, they are married, and I am also friends with their husbands. I also have quite a few female friends that are not in any way potentials (i.e., I'm not attracted to them, but I still hang out with them), and a few that are potentials. I don't have any exes (which may tell you something).
    3. Occasionally... there's no set pattern.
    4. Usually dinner, bars, sometimes a movie or a party.

    I believe you CAN have platonic relationships, when both sides understand that at least one side is not interested in the other side "that way" and at least one side is already seeing someone else. But when both people are single, it can get a little awkward.
     
  4. macrumors 68000

    russed

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2004
    Location:
    London, England
    #4
    1. i would say i have an equal number of really close male and female friends, so yes i have quite a few good friends of the opposite sex
    2.none of them are exes or potentials as i just feel like i know them so well, and also i have got a girlfriend of 3 years
    3. when i am back at home (im at uni) i would say we meet up 3 - 4 times a week. when we were at school we would spend lunchtimes and after shool together then prob friday nights and sometimes even saturdays.
    4. we go to the pub frequently, just sit around and chat, its good when we can just catch up as we obviously dont get to see them during term time as we are all at other parts of the country. also, we quite often go on trips places (like our what now appears to be an annual trip to alton towers!)

    what is really good is that my really good friends are also my girlfriends really good friends so its just like one big group of us!

    i'm getting sentimental here! :)
     
  5. macrumors 604

    Lacero

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    #5
    Once your married, forget having friends of the opposite sex.
     
  6. macrumors 68020

    combatcolin

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2004
    Location:
    Northants, UK
    #6
    When Harry Met Sally.

    My girlfriend dosn't seem to mind.

    Flirting is always fun, but could lead to difficulties if the other person wants more.
     
  7. Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
  8. macrumors G4

    Applespider

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2004
    Location:
    looking through rose-tinted spectacles...
    #8
    Yes and no.

    I had a lot more male friends when they were single. As they've paired off, most of their partners haven't been able to handle it and have encouraged them to end the friendship (even where it was platonic).

    I used to think that men and women could be just platonic friends but I'd have to disagree now. Even my closest male friend has made suggestions...
     
  9. macrumors 6502

    MentalFabric

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    #9
    I have many female friends, i think it's mainly down to whether the people in question can control their hormones :)
    Mind you, I'd probably be called 'almost gay'
    *doesn't believe in sex OR dating*
     
  10. Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    #10
    I thought you were 'a rockstar, baby' ?

    *disappointed*
     
  11. macrumors 6502a

    Brize

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Location:
    Europe
    #11
    Huh? How does this make you 'almost gay'? Do gay people not believe in sex or dating?
     
  12. Guest

    iGary

    Joined:
    May 26, 2004
    Location:
    Randy's House
    #12
    I have tons of really close female friends.

    But, then again, most women enjoy the company of gay men for some reason. ;)
     
  13. macrumors 6502

    MentalFabric

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    #13
    heh, Sorry! I believe i should love everyone equally, and that sex is merely a reproductive action. I live to parent those who already exist, so to speak :)
     
  14. macrumors 6502

    MentalFabric

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    #14
    No, I don't think I'm like a gay person, but I look like a woman and people often get confused.
     
  15. macrumors 6502a

    Brize

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Location:
    Europe
    #15
    I see. So your appearance is somewhat androgynous, and people therefore consider you to be gay once they establish that you're male? If so, that's disappointing.
     
  16. macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Location:
    Nottingham
    #16
    Wow. See what you mean.

    I had goffik black hair and a somewhat androgynous appearance once upon a time, too. Fun, innit? Became boring after a while, though.

    Back on topic, yeah, I have female friends, though few. But I have few male friends, too. I tend to stay on really good terms with my ex-girlfriends, except the nasty ones ;)
    Don't get much chance to hang out, though... all my old friends are in Nottingham. I'm 200 miles away, and totally not diggin' the University thing. Not made a single 'real' friend, it's all transient.
     
  17. Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    #17
    Not to Vniow... or so she says... :)
     
  18. macrumors member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Location:
    in a van down by the river
    #18
    I got tons of female friends.....mostly b/c they were girls that I thought I would like to start something with but turns out that I'm just not their type.......seems to happen often........I was telling one of my good friends that I'm cursed with having cool girls for friends but the girls I date turn out to be head-cases
     
  19. macrumors 6502a

    Brize

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Location:
    Europe
    #19
    Ah, I've a feeling that my previous comment may be open to misinterpretation.

    Just to clarify: I don't consider it disappointing that your appearance may be androgynous, just that people often rely on such appearances as an indicator of sexual orientation.
     
  20. macrumors 68040

    gwuMACaddict

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2003
    Location:
    washington dc
    #20
    1. of course
    2. 1/4 might be ex's/potentials.
    3. regular basis, once-twice a week
    4. bars/movies/clubs/wine tasting/shopping/etc

    this topic remind me of 'when harry met sally'
     
  21. macrumors member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2002
    #21
    Try asking your gay friends about this. Remember, for gay people, they want to:

    1) be friends with
    2) emulate or be like
    3) are attracted to

    at least the same gender, if not the same individuals. If anyone knows the ins and outs of juggling these kinds of relatinships, it's your gay friends.
     
  22. macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #22
    1. Yes. My female friends greatly outnumber my male friends. I'm one of the girls... ;)

    2. Some are exes, my 2 best friends are 2 ex girlfriends. I honestly don't see other female friends as 'potentials' that sounds abit creepy. I see them as friends, with differing degrees of closeness. Gender doesn't and indeed hasn't ever come into the equation, nor does sexuality, or race etc etc when it comes to developing friendships.

    3. I spend most of my time with them. It never crosses my mind that I do seem to spend most of my time in a big gaggle of girls.

    4. We go to bars, films, exhibitions, gigs, collaborate on projects together, go on holiday, or just plain crash out in someones lounge kick back to some choons and just talk.
     
  23. zim
    macrumors 65816

    zim

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2002
    #23
    Not true... I am married, happily, and have friends of the opposite sex.

    All of my female friends, ones that I would call friend and not acquaintance, know or are friends of my wife. If we get together, it is usually to go to an art exhibit or museum possibly dinner as a group.
     
  24. macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2004
    Location:
    UK
    #24
    1. No. I have no female friends.
    2. Not applicable.
    3. Not applicable.
    4. Not applicable.

    The only female "acquaintance" I have is the wife of one of my schoolfriends. I see the two of them three or four times a year at most. So I don't think that counts.
     
  25. macrumors 6502a

    rhpenguin

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2003
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    #25
    1. Yeah i would say so.
    2. Just friends. Im not a big fan of "typical relationships" (and that doesnt mean im just after sex either. Just means i dont like to be tied down.)
    3. Often. Weekends usualy. Or catch a cup o' joe after im done work at night.
    4. Unreal on the LAN, watch movies, do eachothers hair, look at tattoos/piercings etc...
     

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