Does you parents make it harder for you?

Discussion in 'Community' started by mymemory, Nov 25, 2003.

  1. mymemory macrumors 68020

    mymemory

    Joined:
    May 9, 2001
    Location:
    Miami
    #1
    I do not know if I wrote it right.

    The case is if you parents have a way to make your life miserable or at list try to manipulate you some how in a selfish matter or because they had a trauma from their childhood.

    In my house I have an issue with my mother, she is very nice and she like to spoiled everybody but after so many years I can see she is doing it because she does not want to be alone in her life.

    I broke up with my girlfriend and my mother liked her because she was staying with us and she was a part of our family more than she was with hers.

    But now I have a new girl coming just to spend some time in December with her and my mother is making everything so difficult, specially because this girl is from Germany and she know I have feelings for her. She know that I can end up living in Germany pretty easy in no time.

    My mother has my older brother domesticated already, he is 36 and he lives and work in my house, he doesn't have a girlfriend, he doesn't pay bills and he is not require to do any of that.

    In my case I'm 28 and I'm moving to New York in January to get a life. Already my mother told me that I should go to NY in April when there is not that cold (burning time).

    There are tons of details that I can see are trying subsconciently to eliminate my instinct of leaving my house.

    Of course is impossible to talk to her because I'm the youngest (I'm 28!!!) and "I do not know what I'm talking about".

    Do you have a parent like that? I mean, that is being selfish with you?
     
  2. tazo macrumors 68040

    tazo

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, Seattle, WA actually
    #2
    I had to actually move out of my moms house because me and her didnt get along well...well we do, just not when my brother is there. obviously therein lies the problem ;)

    So now I have been living with my dad for 8 months or so, and its been awesome. He gives me a lot of freedom; has never hit me or lied to me- tried to break my stuff; stolen from me; tried to ruin a friendship;
    i wont continue
     
  3. manitoubalck macrumors 6502a

    manitoubalck

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2003
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #3
    Hmm your older Bro is 36 and still living with the old folks? I think it's time to move out. At 28 I'm suprised you are still living there as well.

    Tazo sorry to hear that you come from a broken family, but it's good to see that things are going alright. As for the main point of this tread I know that parents can be very over bearing (especially mothers.) I just finished my first year at uni and still live with my parents because moving out is not economically viable. However when I'm done at uni I'm going to be out of there like a hot curry.

    My advice is as soon as the opertunity to move out presents itself run, run like a bat out of hell. Go to New York have fun and enjoy youself, start a business or whatever just break free. Your 28 and still living under mummy's and daddy's roof, given that's not as bad as 36 but come on.

    P.S: I know while your still there and it's the same reason I still am: It's cheap and the food's good.
     
  4. caveman_uk Guest

    caveman_uk

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Location:
    Hitchin, Herts, UK
    #4
    I left home at 18 when I went to university. I know my mother wanted me to go to a nearer university so I could live at home but I was pretty determined not to so I could break out on my own.

    Having said that one of my best friends I was at uni with is in his mid-thirties and lives with his dad. It's like watching re-runs of the 'The Odd Couple' when you go 'round their house...:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
     
  5. OutThere macrumors 603

    OutThere

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Location:
    NYC
    #5
    According to Tazo's profile he's 16, not 28. I don't think that you were aware of that manitoubalck
     
  6. Giaguara macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2002
    #6
    tell her that if she accepts your (girl)friends, it is SO much less likely you ever go to germany etc to live there.


    my parents ... oh oh. i have never brang a boy friend to them to be seen, analyzed, accepted etc. and i'm not _that_ young ..

    mine won't ever accept anyone except from the place they live now maybe. i have never had a boy friend from there, i don't like the guys there .. so i just know they won't accept. :rolleyes:

    i've been vegetarian/vegan (changing in time between) since 1990. guess how many years it took them to figure it and accept it? ages. years. more years.

    i moved out after high school, and since i was lets say around 12 (till i moved out), i spent more time in the comunal library than in living room of them. i could not stand the constant argueing. now they are doing better, but i still can't often stand being in the same house with them for more than a few days (sometiems 5 minutes is enough).
     
  7. manitoubalck macrumors 6502a

    manitoubalck

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2003
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #7
    No your right but mymemory is.
     
  8. tazo macrumors 68040

    tazo

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, Seattle, WA actually
    #8
    Its not a broken family in the least, its just that my mom and I have never really gotten along that well. We care about each other but I dont really want to explain why we dont get along.
     
  9. mymemory thread starter macrumors 68020

    mymemory

    Joined:
    May 9, 2001
    Location:
    Miami
    #9
    Man, the economic situation in Venezuela is very very bad. All my friends lives with their parents. I do not mean is an excuse, that is why I want to move, not out of the house, but out of the country.

    Down here minimun wage is $100 while in the US is close to $1000. Remeber that everything here cost 20% or more than in the US.

    A fun story with the German girl was that I told her that we could go to to the Amazon and to some islands in the Caribbean just like the Bahamas but better and everything would cost her (including meals and trasnportantion) $200!!!! not $2000, $200. She was upset because she thought I was getting cheap on her. I told her that for the exchange rate that is what everything would cost for her because that is the price for us here.

    Today I was paying attention to my mother and I realized she is the one that needs to grow up in this house.

    My older syster told her to leave me alone, my father too, everybody is telling her that.

    To live by myself is a blest, I have been there when I was studing in the US 5 years ago. To pay my bills, to take caer of all my things, it just bring tears to my eyes such amount of happines!

    Always the father is the one that bring balance to the force in the house, my father is the one with the last word every once in a while.

    Let see.:rolleyes:
     
  10. JesseJames macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2003
    Location:
    How'd I get here? How can I leave?
    #10
    Dude, you have to get out. You have to get out on your own and find your own legs to stand on. You'll never grow emotionally if you stay with your parents.
    I'm sure you love your folks deep down no matter what but it's best to be your own man. Even if your parents resent you for your move for independence. If they really do care for your welfare and future they will understand and stop being so damn selfish.
     
  11. rainman::|:| macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    Location:
    iowa
    #11
    all i can say, with some measure of certainty, is that if i hadn't moved out when i was 18, i would have slit my wrists by now. and i'm not being dramatic. my parents are great, well my mom is great, my dad's just ..., but i don't do well with authority, and i have to have my own space and my own rules. i had curfew of 1AM through most of early high school, and compared to some that was pretty damn good. and yet, i always managed to come in at 6:00AM. not good on the parent/child relationship.

    fortunately, my mom valued my right to independence, and didn't do stupid **** like controlling what i watch on TV, that sort of thing. she always knew what was going on in my life, and who [most of] my friends were, but no censorship. i see a lot of parents making the mistake to censor their children, keep them bound by tight rules, try to control what the kids *think* until they're 18. and yet, parents are surprised that these kids cannot make it in the real world? i think this generation of parents has forgotten the fact that kids need to make their own mistakes to learn, even if the parent doesn't want to see the child make that mistake. pain is the only real teacher in life, and if you shield the child from pain, you do him/her a tremendous disservice.

    that was my little rant :)

    pnw
     

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