female users read in please: engagment/wedding etiquite

Discussion in 'Community' started by medea, Oct 22, 2002.

  1. medea macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #1
    Ok hopefully I can get some opinions here, I've been looking at rings for my girlfriend, the thing is she is not very fond of jewelery or rings in particular and she has mentioned that she would want one simple ring. Now I think I have found the perfect ring for her, and it's a wedding band. I have read about how some women only have the wedding band and no engagment ring or they just dont wear the engagment ring. My question though is, if you are only going to use the one ring, would I propose with the wedding band? and if so would she take off the ring for the wedding so I could put it on here again? we live together already and have for some time now and I plan on making an "official" engagement when we go to NY in March in the upcoming year. Im just confused on ring ettiquite and want some info so I can make sure I do this right.
    thanks.:confused:
     
  2. bombensington macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2002
    #2
    here's my (female) perspective...im getting married in april and was engaged last october.

    i don't like fancy-shmancy jewelry either. i picked a very simple, clean design - white gold, cathedral setting, pipe cut, princess cut diamond (ask a jeweler to show you what these mean). it is very elegant, yet i dont feel like it's too gawdy. the diamond is a 1/6 carat - which is small, but the perfect size for me. this is an inexpensive piece of jewelry.

    basically, you can do whatever she wants! throw your ideas of etiquette out the window, seriously. if you are sure she wants a band only, then by no means disappoint her with something else. get her the band now, have her wear it as an engagement ring. on the day of the wedding, maybe give her a different band, and she can keep the "engagement band" as a keepsake, or just give her the same band. it is all about personal preference, seriously. don't worry about what anyone else thinks - she is the one to wear it for the rest of her life, right?

    congratulations! this will be exciting for her (and you).
     
  3. medea thread starter macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #3
    that's what I was thinking, many thanks for fortifying it for me.:D
     
  4. jelloshotsrule macrumors G3

    jelloshotsrule

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2002
    Location:
    serendipity
    #4
    not that i'm a girl. but i'm all about not caring about the etiquette. i mean. sure, it's gotta mean something and be nice. it's the symbol of your marriage... but the whole 3 months salary ****e... jeez. what a joke

    not to mention 3 months salary for me woudl be.... well. i'd still be getting the 25 cent rings at the supermarket.... :rolleyes: :D
     
  5. 3rdpath macrumors 68000

    3rdpath

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2002
    Location:
    2nd star on the right and straight till morning
    #5
    like everyone else says...get your future fiance the ring she wants and use that as the engagment ring. you can then reuse it at the ceremony( or not...its all your decision). thats what my wife did( simple vintage ring with small diamonds). i later gave her an eternity band to celebrate our first kid.

    btw, i told my wife that i wanted an engagment ring too...with a few small diamonds...hey, fair is fair. she told me "no way". she later pulled out an engagment ring for me after i popped the question...seems she had one custom made and had been carrying it with her everywhere for 3 months...and yes, i reused it at the wedding. actually TWO weddings... since we secretly eloped to vegas 2 months before the official ceremony.:D

    congrats. marriage is a blast.
     
  6. Lz0 macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Location:
    Melbourne
    #6
    My experience with women (enough) tells me if you were to give her an 18ct Diamond she WOULD NOT send it back, no matter how"fancy-shmancy" it was.
     
  7. medea thread starter macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #7
    Thanks for the replies guys, glad to hear your marriage is going well 3rdpath.:D
     
  8. agreenster macrumors 68000

    agreenster

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2001
    Location:
    Walt Disney Animation Studios
    #8
    Hang on

    I hate it when selfish men make comments about how they wouldnt dare spend 3months salary on a 'silly ring' for their girlfriend. So what you are saying is, you dont care enough about your woman to sacrifice for her? Im sure these same guys spend buckets of money on their own toys--motorcycles, computers, etc...

    When I bought my wife her engagement ring, I told her to pick out what she wanted, no strings attached, and we would do our best to make it happen. No, we didnt go to the poor house, and we didnt act foolish when spending money- but I wanted her to know that she was loved.

    If your girlfriend doesnt WANT a huge diamond, then dont get her one. But if she does, then whats wrong with spoiling her? I would MUCH rather spend 3months salary on a diamond ring for my wife than a new Apple.
     
  9. medea thread starter macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #9
    um, I never said anything about money being an issue, and what jelloshotsrule said was obviously a joke, my question is about etiquite and if you dont have anything to add to that topic then please take your rude comments elsewhere.:mad:
     
  10. agreenster macrumors 68000

    agreenster

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2001
    Location:
    Walt Disney Animation Studios
    #10
    For crying out loud dude. Dont get so defensive. I DID have something to add. Sorry for being rude, I was just making a comment about how MOST guys p*ss and moan about having to fork out a wad of cash for an engagement ring, when they never take the woman's feelings into consideration.

    And my comment wasnt directed at anyone in particular. The thread just made me think about it.
     
  11. medea thread starter macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi

Share This Page