First loves

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Demon Hunter, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. Demon Hunter macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    #1
    I had a relationship with a girl in high school five years ago. It was messy to say the least. She cheated on me twice, I was suicidal, her perverted step-father hated me. It was really bad. I should be happy, right?

    But I remember what I loved about her... all the things we had in common, her eyes, the way her hair covered her face. I still think about her on a weekly basis... more so when I'm depressed.

    I've been treated for a mood disorder, which exacerbates the situation. I often can't separate my feelings from these irrational emotions, which are the result of a chemical imbalance in my brain.

    I know that I can find intimacy and friendship... there's a lot of fish in the sea, as the saying goes. But often, it's a struggle to find asylum from my illness and my past.

    They say you never forget your "first love." Do you think this is true? When you find the right person, does the pain go away? What can I do to heal my scars?
     
  2. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #2
    I think it's difficult, but without trying to be crude I think the best option is to get back on the horse. Check out those other fish. You'll find someone you love and who loves you, without the complicated heartache of the first try. :)
     
  3. MACDRIVE macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #3
    I use to, until I started bombarding my brain with 80mg or prozac a day. I highly suggest that you do the same. After a couple weeks of that stuff, you will have completely lost your obsession with that girl. There may be times when she arbitrarily pops into you head, but the you won't care anymore. ;)
     
  4. azeteg macrumors member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    #4
    The chemical imbalance in your brain is due to a malicious thought-process, not due to something physically wrong in your brain. Your synapses all train to make your brain produce certain chemicals, making you feel a particular way. Now is the time to take control of the situation, control of the thought-process. You can and will heal yourself.

    Try reading this with an open mind, it has helped at least one of my friends: http://www.freezoneamerica.org/pub/trompdf.pdf


    /Aze
     
  5. MalcolmJID macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Location:
    England
    #5
    I don't think anyone forgets their first true love. It's a magicial thing.

    I don't think I'll forget mine anytime soon, even though there was some nasty parts, arguments etc. Now I look back...I only see the good stuff :) I remember her for all the good times we shared.


    I'm in a new relationship now though, but what I just said there ^^ applies even before I got with my new girl :)
     
  6. Irish Dave macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2006
    Location:
    The Emerald Isle
    #6
    You never forget your first true love no mater if it was mainly good or bad. As time moves on you will tend to remember the good times and it becomes harder to remember the bad. I'm now in my 60's and still remember my first love clearly.

    Dave :)
     
  7. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #7
    I thought I loved the first 2 girlfriends I had, but I've come to realise after being in a much better relationship that it wasn't love. Suppose I'm still with my first love in that respect! But I've always had very confusing relationships and this is the only stable one. Oh it's worth a laugh - First girlfriend was a lesbian, not even bi. I knew that when I was going out with her. We were 14, it was rock n roll. 2nd had an internet "relationship" too, they swore they'd meet. :rolleyes:
     
  8. Irish Dave macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2006
    Location:
    The Emerald Isle
    #8
    There didn't seem to be any lesbians when i was 15 or so !! But had I have known any, I may have been tempted as well !! (LOL)



    Dave :cool:
     
  9. Demon Hunter thread starter macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    #9
    I'm not sure what you mean. Certain people are predisposed to depression and a deficiency in serotonin... in my case, the breakup triggered my first episode. But you are right, I have to take control of it.

    Thanks all.
     
  10. MongoTheGeek macrumors 68040

    MongoTheGeek

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2003
    Location:
    Its not so much where you are as when you are.
    #10
    You never forget lost loves. Hell, I googled one the other day, who I hadn't spoken with in 13 years. Found a photo and an email address and everything.

    You may think that you will never love anyone the same way again, and you won't all love is different, but it doesn't mean its any better or worse. You're young. I know there is a sense of urgency but there is time.
     
  11. Dagless macrumors Core

    Dagless

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    Fighting to stay in the EU
    #11
    Absolutely right. I don't think there is just 1 solid, checkbox way to know if you love someone. Probably dependant on what you want at that moment in your life, what your partner wants etc. We all change, our love changes.
     

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