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Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by princealfie, Feb 1, 2007.
Being a matchmaker, would you recommend foreign brides for your clients?
Maybe for people who work in international development, for example, and meet "foreign" women in their own country--a country they are knowledgeable about and interested in.
For people who want to order a bride off the internet? No. That's disgusting.
Depends on his expectations. Foreign brides can be really risky, but we are talking love right?
Personally, as long as he realizes that she is a full human being and that bringing her here is a huge life change for her. Chances are she will change greatly over the first few years.
I work for the airlines and know several guys who have married women from all over the world. Biggest complaints are the money spent on the overseas family. Second biggest complaint, is she becomes "Americanized".
Why would nationality matter?
Because a lot of men are becoming increasingly disillusioned with what American women bring to the table, hence looking elsewhere for someone better suited to what they want/need.
For the OP: These days I'd recommend against using a service to meet someone overseas, thanks to a little known law called IMBRA, which goes against all manner of Constitutional protections. PM me and I'll give you some links and info.
Because the world isnt equal. Which is my only reservation. It is easy for people to take advantage when they are unequal.
The foreign women can take advantage of some lonely, less than desirable, US male because her beauty is a tradable commodity.
The Us male can take advantage of some desperate woman because she is willing to do many things in order to live in the US.
Please elaborate. What do American women not bring to the table? What's wrong with IMBRA?
This thread confused the hell out of me when I first saw it, and it's still confusing the hell out of me now.
I dont even want to get married.
Wasn't IMBRA invented by the feminists?
No, sounds like it was proposed by the senators.
What's wrong with feminists?
I still don't see what a women's nationality has to do with them being a good bride or not. Maybe I'm missing something?
I'm assuming the OP means making a match with an (at the time, unknown) foreigner... as opposed to dating or marriage services that match people up with individuals who already legally reside in their location. In which case I think there are all kinds of risk issues including motivation on both sides, etc. Especially if one party lives in a country like the US.
But... also... just... I don't know. This thread leaves me with a vaguely unsatisfying sensation of the surreal.
*I'll dig up stats later when I'm not so busy*
Half, if not more, of all marriages in this country fail, and women initiate the proceeding in about 75% of those cases. Thanks to the rise in popularity of no-fault divorce and biased family court judges, a guy who gets married stands a high chance of being taken for most everything he has on nothing more than a woman's whim. Toss in a phony DV allegation (which many divorce books and lawyers will recommend a woman do), and he's ruined. By way of comparison, the divorce rate among American-foreign couples is around 20%.
IMBRA was passed with zero debate and zero testimony, and surreptitiously tacked onto another bill during the Christmas rush. I'm going to assume you haven't even bothered to read the law. In short, if a man using such a service (big name companies like Match.com and Yahoo are suprisingly exempt) wishes to contact a foreign woman, he must first agree to an extensive background check, including criminal history, sex offender status if any, previous marriages and how they were terminated, minor children, etc. All this before he can legally say hello. And the same government who allows these outbound restrictions makes no provision for reciprocity on the part of the foreign party.
Just imagine how this would play out if the restrtictions were the same for Joe Blow on the street wanting to chat up a girl he sees at the bar. Freedoms of speech, association, equal protection, and the right to privacy are all tossed out the window by this piece of legislation, to say nothing of imposing an air of guilty until proven innocent by the government.
Well, they tried to ban Ellis' novel American Psycho. Can't forgive them for that error of literary judgment.
IMBRA was created by Maria Cantwell and the misandric Tahirih Justice Center.
Are there any relatively unbiased websites that explain what the features / mechanisms of this IMBRA are? The ones I find make it out in a very confusing light... essentially, if someone is in the business of helping person A meet person B, and person A is a US national and B is not, then they apparently fall under the sway of this legislation, if they charge a fee and the majority of their business is in introducing foreigners to each other, even if the purpose is not necessarily for romance/marriage? I'm confused. I don't even understand in what situations this would apply, except apparently for mail-order bride / groom (?) systems?
Of course, I knew that. I was playing devil's advocate. Cantwell's past history is documented in: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Cantwell
Hmm... too bad she seemed to be jealous of the prettier brides from overboard. Oh well, she won't be making any friends in London.
British girls, now that's a thought. Cute accent and American imitatio, perfect to a tee. Roast gently with Jane Austen filling as substitute. Savor that.
Now I hope that Kucinich will be battling Cantwell on MTV Celebrity Deathmatch soon while his wife watches
I think I'm starting to get it.
Do you mean a mail-order Russian bride-type "Foreign Bride" as opposed to marrying a French woman that you met, for example?
I'm talking about both scenarios in fact. Either bride is fine.
We include English, Russian, French, or whatever bride... even from Africa too.
Just non-American citizen I am referring to.
You've pretty much got it sorted. Smaller companies that specialize in this type of relationship are hit by the legislation, and companies like Match and eHarmony are given passes since they can claim the majority of their business is US-US relationships. Some people are arguing that the sole reason for this legislation is to put these smaller companies out of business. Heaven forbid men should be given choices when it comes to whom they marry.
P.S. There's no such thing as a mail order bride. You actually have to go over there to meet her before you can start the K-visa process, of which thanks to this new law you only get 3 lifetime applications.
Agreed... it's not like you can order a iBride straight off the Apple Store website either.
IN fact, it's a LOT of work just to get someone here to the States legally.
Not to mention quite a bit of money. Around $20,000 for a good immigration attorney plus everything else is what I've heard.
However, when one thinks about it, this model of elegance would be worth the $20,000 and more with positive ROI:
Of course, if you want a good mix of traditional family values with la vida loca without the Paris Hellton approach, this could provide a reasonable solution for many lads out here in the hillocks.
So I didn't catch this "3 times" thing. From what I understand, the law is sex blind -- i.e. it applies to American men and women. But it's also unilateral -- the law forces the site to provide the American's background to the foreigner but not vice versa? That part seems rather a poor choice to me. It is always nice when American law actually gives some consideration to protecting Americans...
This whole thing is still surreal to me... but then I come from (or rather am running away from) an ancestral tradition of arranged marriages. I can't imagine why I would want a marriage broker.