Forget Chuck Norris - Boonie's the man.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Chundles, Feb 13, 2006.

  1. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #1
    David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a WSC game in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions (he went on to make 122 and win Man Of The Match). Seriously.

    David Boon once drank 52 beers on a plane trip from Australia to England.

    David Boon once knocked a huge six into the VIP box at the MCG, hitting Chuck Norris square in the forehead and turning him into a fundamentalist christian washed-up lamewad who thinks he's a cowboy.

    David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.

    Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy.

    For every one of his famous cans of beer he drank on his way to England, David Boon made love to the flight stewardess twice.

    During an MCG bomb threat evacuation, David Boon had the whole grounds cleared out in 13 seconds, with a sharp whistle and a point to the exit.

    David Boon once blew 0.98 when tested for drink driving, and his moustache had to drive the rest of the way home... via a bottle shop.

    In games of skill, an inexperienced player may be referred to as a NOOB, meaning he is the complete opposite of David Boon.
    The Ashes in the urn that Australia and England play for are not the ashes of bails, they are the remnants of a Grey Nicholls bat that failed David Boon... Once.

    David Boon never hits a ball for six, he rebounds them off his chest..

    David Boon halted the Cronulla riots by calling out, "Oi. Stop playing silly buggers."

    A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed his penis. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe the penis as "magnificent".

    David Boon once straddled an Emu and rode it into Australian parliament demanding the eradication of all girly drinks. As a result, Daiquiris were banned in three states. ]

    When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.

    David Boon can remove his moustache and use it to soak up gravy, polish cricket balls or pleasure a woman.

    Amazingly, David Boon's penis also has a moustache.
    Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.

    When David Boon had his first hangover, he vowed never to STOP drinking again.

    David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
    In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.

    David Boon invented the sexual technique known as the Cover Drive.

    Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.

    Any person heard referring to the Boonie cricket figure as a 'Boonie Doll' is quickly dispatched with a cricket bat to the temple.
    David Boon despises Metrosexuality so much, that he has taken to growing moustaches on his back for immediate transplant on to at least three members of the current Australian cricket team.

    Contrary to the reports in the British tabloid press, David Boon claims he was simply "adjusting his box".

    David Boon possesses more fielding talent than any other player, and that is on his non-preferred side. The ICC outlawed David Boon fielding anywhere except for short-leg because he would "Hold too many records."

    At night, while David Boon is sleeping, his moustache detaches itself and sneaks out, getting into crazy adventures and solving mysteries.

    David Boon uses his Grey Nichols in much the same way as an elephant uses it's trunk - to pick up things, shower himself with dirt, and fire peanuts into his mouth.

    During a one-dayer VS the West Indies, David Boon split his bat down the middle, and was forced to bat using only his hand. After several consecutive injuries to the fielding team, the umpires declared the match over. The winner: David Boon.



    Boooooooonie........
     
  2. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #2
    *Looks across at Boonie Doll on the desk*

    Awesome! :D
     
  3. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #3
    You got one?! You lucky, lucky bastard!! I wanted one sooo much but I just couldn't get through two cases of VB. Gave it a good try though. They're sold out now.

    Booooooonie!!!
     
  4. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #4
    Yeah, one of the perks of being a wine rep. :D

    It's actually pretty annoying unless the cricket's on. Store managers hate them. :p
     
  5. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #5
    Got any lying around???;)

    Sorry, have to go face Launceston and pray.

    Legend
    Legend
    Top Bloke....
     
  6. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #6
    I'd give you this one but my brother's already claimed it next time he comes over. Last one I saw was in Port Lincoln a week or so ago (three of them). I'll keep my eyes peeled but no guaranties. I head back to Port Lincoln in five weeks which'll be too late but I'll definitely see what I can do. I know how much of a fan you are. :D

    *Starts praying alongside Chundles*
     
  7. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #7
    It's OK mate, was just joking. But seriously.....
    You're a champ, Jew.

    We had a little competition at my old college where the object was to steal the photo of the Director of one of the clubs down here after our formals. I got him in 2003. He's been stolen 13 times in 5 years.

    The reason - he looks just like Boonie.

    We want to do a pub crawl with the photos of all the Boonie thieves and their plunder printed on the back of a t-shirt then go into the club.
     
  8. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #8
    Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.


    Who's Boonie?? And when you guys use the word college, you mean "residence" right?
     
  9. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #9
    A Boonie pub crawl. Nice. :cool:

    Of course, it really should be done on the 26th of January but as Boonie would say: "practice makes perfect". I don't like my chances on a doll but I'm going to some accounts tomorrow that had them last time I was through (last month). Fingers crossed.
     
  10. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #10
    Who's Boonie?? WHO'S BOONIE!!!!

    Only the greatest Australian cricketer ever to be an Australian cricketer.

    In Australia "College"=

    1. A hall of residence you stay in when you go to Uni.
    2. Small, highly specialised tertiary institute that conducts generally short-term tertiary programmes, often business related. The credentials issued are usually certificates or diplomas, very rarely would you get a degree from attending a college. The few that do issue degrees often have them conferred by a local University.

    As with "chips" (hot, fried thick potato slivers OR cold potato slices, served in foil bags) we never mistake one for the other when mentioned in conversation.

    We don't "graduate" from High School, we "finish" or "leave." It's a very small deal to us. We graduate only from tertiary institutions, most of us only consider finishing Uni as "graduation."

    We don't apply to Uni via any written application. We issue our preferences for courses online and when the results of our exams/UAI come out, the Uni's fill their courses from the best marks down.

    These random facts brought to you by the Boonie fan club of australia.
     
  11. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    Location Location Location
    #11
    Well I know the rest of it, but I thought maybe they had different terms in different parts of Australia for this sort of thing. "College" can have a lot of different meanings.

    Yeah, I stay in one right now, but I do know that in most places in the world, "college" carries the 2nd meaning.
     
  12. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

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    #12
    Well, in most places in the world, College = University. The second meaning of college I give is not a University.
     
  13. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #13
    No, College = University in the US. That's not true for most other places. University = University in most other countries, including Australia. Agaion, when you say "college" in most countries, people think you mean what you described in #2. Otherwise, it can also mean a small faction of your school that is a part of the university, but also acts more like a brotherhood, or like a fraternity in the US, except these "colleges" are fancy and have reputations, and even though all students attend the same university, the college you go to may determine how people see you after you graduate. Some of these colleges are well-known because of famous alumni who used to belong to them.

    Of course, there are specialist schools in France, like engineering schools, that will give you a degree (even a Masters degree) even though they're not a University or College.

    Anyway, college = "tertiary education that gets you a diploma rather than a degree" in most cases today.
     
  14. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

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    #14
    Fair 'nuff.


    BOOOOOOOONIE!!!!
     
  15. kretzy macrumors 604

    kretzy

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2004
    Location:
    Canberra, Australia
    #15
    That was an extremely heartfelt tribute Chundles! I probably shouldn't use the word "heartfelt", it sounds wussy and deserving of a slap across the head with a cricket bat :eek:
     
  16. nbs2 macrumors 68030

    nbs2

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2004
    Location:
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    #17
    Chundles' link is too slow - i can't be bothered to wait.

    What did this "Boon" guy do that was so amazing? Was he a good cricket player? A crazy drunk who was pretty good? A guy with a moustache and a winning personality?

    I could talk to you all day about something as silly as whether or not Secretariat should be considered one of the world's greatest athletes ever (I think so), but I don't know nothing about Mr. Boon.
     
  17. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #18
    Sorry Chundles, no luck with the doll today. I'll keep you posted, hopefully one'll pop up soon. :cool:
     
  18. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #19

    Mate it's no big deal, don't worry about it.

    Just trying to spread the word of Boon throughout MR. Sooo many unbelievers on here!!!!

    Time to face Launceston.....
     
  19. Chundles thread starter macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #20
    HA HAAAA!!!

    No lunch + no dinner + 1.5 bottles of red wine = one pissed little Chundlepips.

    Boonie would be proud of me, I hate Valentine's Day yet I both worked and got pissed on said day and am a happy little Chundleykins.

    BOOOOOONIE!!!

    Time to face Launceston and pray to the one true god of cricket and drinking, David Boon:

    Legend
    Legend
    Dead set legend




    Top Bloke.

    Legend.......


    HAHAHAHA!!!! RED WINE = Chundlies pissed as a newt.

    WOOHOO!!!
     

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