Girlfriend cheated on me

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by TheDance511, Feb 15, 2007.

  1. TheDance511 macrumors 6502

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    #1
    I play in a rock band..Guitar/Sing..And my band was doing a local show (Detroit).... My girlfriend was in the audience in the front and we were to maybe our 5th song when i loked down at the audience to see her Kissing some guy.. I immediatley had a sinking feeling and played very badly for the rest of the show...i didnt even want to play i jsut wanted to jump down there and break it up...my question is should i dump her i cant make up my mind i am only 18 and i think i lvoe her..would it be unreasonable of me to dump her for making a mistake am i over reacting? I dont know what to do.. please help?
     
  2. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #2
    I'd talk to her first. Make sure you know the story.

    And if she was actually making out with some other guy at your gig? Dump her. And don't look back.
     
  3. twoodcc macrumors P6

    twoodcc

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    #3
    i agree. after you calm down, at least talk to her, and confirm it.

    then leave and never look back...
     
  4. Superdrive macrumors 6502a

    Superdrive

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    #4
    Take her best friend out. That will pack more of a punch than your words ever could.

    I also agree with the above posters. If this did, in fact, take place. Don't look back. Nobody should ever stay with a cheater.
     
  5. TheDance511 thread starter macrumors 6502

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    #5

    awsome advice lol
     
  6. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

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    #6
    Thats kinda ballsy for the girl to do right in front of him. I say find some groupies if you have any.
     
  7. spicyapple macrumors 68000

    spicyapple

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    #7
    I don't think the girlfriend would care. And you'd just be hurting the best friend.
     
  8. TheDance511 thread starter macrumors 6502

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  9. OldCorpse macrumors 65816

    OldCorpse

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    #9
    First, don't overreact, you may not know the full story. Many weird things happen at concerts. Folks drop x and kiss everyone around them... just sayin'... it would be rather odd if she was makin' out right in front of you... not exactly sneaking behind your back... so, its's more likely a misunderstanding... then again, I always tend to believe the best about people, so who knows :)

    Talk to her.

    Even if she did cheat, hey, at least you found out now, rather than in 10 years married with kids. Plus, you're still young... and I don't mean that in a harsh way, but maybe it's better that you find out about the sadder side of life now, it'll kind of toughen you up a bit. With age comes experience, and not all of it is rosy.

    But whatever you do, don't harsh on her. It isn't worth it. You can't undo what's done. Let her go if you have to, but always take the high road.

    Good luck.
     
  10. zblaxberg Guest

    zblaxberg

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    #10
    life's easy...you make choices and don't look back

    confront her about it... you could even make her feel bad by telling her that your friend told you a story about how he was at a concert and he saw his girlfriend cheating on him...see what happens when you tell her the story if she won't willingly admit it. love her or not...honestly do you wanna be with someone that will continue to do those things to you:confused:

    i know its confusing but think about it and don't think too hard and long. you'll make the right choice

    p.s. let us know how everything goes man..it happens to the best of us
     
  11. rockthecasbah macrumors 68020

    rockthecasbah

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    #11
    i know you probably don't want to hear this now, but i would have pointed her out to everyone through the mike "and to the whore, i mean - - - - kissing that schmuck in the middle, IT'S OVER!" :rolleyes:

    In all seriousness, though you should not necessarily treat her like **** because of it, keeping her around is only asking for trouble. Infidelity leads to so many problems with mistrust in the future. It's painful now, but even more will be brought up by staying with her. Talk to her, but i would advise trying to move on.

    Sorry to hear about that man :eek:
     
  12. BigPrince macrumors 68020

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    #12
    Maybe it was already over and you just didnt realize it. This was her way of "sending the message." She didn't have the guts or respect to tell you.:mad: :(
     
  13. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

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    #13
    move on, there are only what 50 billion more fish in the sea? forget her.
     
  14. QCassidy352 macrumors G3

    QCassidy352

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    #14
    if she'd do that right in front of you, what would she do when you're not around? get out.
     
  15. OldCorpse macrumors 65816

    OldCorpse

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    #15
    I can't believe how harsh some people here are :(

    You only know one side of the story. And it's full of ambiguities, which even the OP acknowledges.

    All these revenge fantasies is so much juvenile BS. I hope you don't treat people that way in real life and are only acting out on the net.

    Find out what really happened first. And always treat your gf/bf with respect. If you loved them once, how can you call them names now? It speaks very poorly of you. When I hear people talking horrible stuff about their ex's I always think "yeah, well, YOU picked her/him - if they're so bad, that doesn't speak well of your ability to judge character, why should I trust you judgment of them this time either?".

    Be good to people. Even if they wronged you, you'll lose more if you treat them badly. You can always say: "She did me wrong, but I always treated her like a gentleman". That counts for what kind of human being you are.
     
  16. MovieCutter macrumors 68040

    MovieCutter

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    #16
    That made me laugh. You're not in love...trust me. If you were, you wouldn't be asking us what to do. But at 18...you're never in love. There will be those who disagree...but you don't know what love is at 18.
     
  17. TheDance511 thread starter macrumors 6502

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  18. dllavaneras macrumors 68000

    dllavaneras

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    #18
    Wow, that sucks big time! Sorry man...

    I'd suggest for you to find out the complete story first. If it turns out to be true, then you know what they say...
    Once a w**re, always a w**re :rolleyes: Get out of there ASAP
     
  19. Cybix macrumors 6502a

    Cybix

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    #19
    I'd be giving her the flick. Definately not easy if your so in love, but it's obvious she doesn't feel the same way about you.
     
  20. BigPrince macrumors 68020

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    #20
    anyone care to speculate what "the story" could be or what one would say in repsonse to being asked.
     
  21. TheDance511 thread starter macrumors 6502

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    #21
    i dont know ....
     
  22. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #22
    I "might" disagree. What's his definition of "making out"? Did a guy kiss her on the mouth for a split second, or did she kiss this guy for 5, 10, 20 seconds at a time?

    If she was actually making out with him, and I mean they kissed for more than 5+ seconds, then I think it's a safe bet that you don't even need to talk to her about it. It's crystal clear. She was at your gig, standing in front of you, and she still did that? What has she been doing when out of your sight. Did you see her leave with this guy? Did she spend the night at someone elses house that night?

    If it looked like he was kissing her, and it only lasted for a split second, then talk to her about it --- clear things up.



    Don't jump, man!! :eek:
     
  23. bearbo macrumors 68000

    bearbo

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    #23
    that's the most judgemental thing i've heard. just because people usually don't find true love at 18, doesn't mean people dont know what love is at 18. there are those of us who did, at age of 18, already have found it.
     
  24. TheDance511 thread starter macrumors 6502

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    #24
    after it was over i jsut walked with my band mates to our car...didnt even try to find her i didnt have it in me...she called me like an hr after but i jsut ignored her...so maybe ill talk to her in the morning if i can...i dont know..but thanks guys
     
  25. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #25
    Like we've said:

    Please try to talk to her in the morning. Get her side of the story. It won't take long, and you won't then have to regret not knowing.

    If the story is as you think it is, then it's very unlikely anything good can come from staying with her unless she's genuinely sorry about and can explain it.

    But if the story isn't what you think, then you'll be happy you asked.

    Either way, if you do walk away from it, as others have said, don't bad-mouth her. It makes you look bad, and there's no reason for it.
     

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