Heard anyone say anything stupid recently?

[mpw]

I was in the coffee shop at lunch sitting at the bar and one of the guys looks up from an article he's reading and asks the open question;
"What was the first animal in space?"
I guessed dog and another girl guessed monkey. Now both those answers were perfectly good answers (I think I'm right mind ) and had some said mouse, rat, guinea-pig or rabbit I'd have thought they were all reasonable guesses.
So what does the girl behind the bar say?

"Giraffe?"

WTF!

So what's the stupidest thing you've heard someone say or said yourself recently?

 

[XNine]

Am I a bad person? (the question referring to someone who knowingly supports his friend who's cheating on his wife.)

 

[Bibulous]

.

 

[iBlue]

YES...

my comcast cable internet has been unusually slow lately. i did the usual stuff but i had to call and ask them about it.

their "educated guess"?

"I think your mac has a virus"

when i stopped laughing i said "if you don't know, just say so, please."

idiot.

 

[MongoTheGeek]

I get so many of them its really hard to pick or even remember them.

 

[crazycat]

Am I a bad person? (the question referring to someone who knowingly supports his friend who's cheating on his wife.)

/slap

 

[Danksi]

I haven't heard anything daft recently, but I guess a couple of people heard me say something strange - judging by their reactions.

1) Local coffee shop earlier this week, I was waiting for my sandwich to go. I sat in an empty seat, then heard a woman telling me that it's her favourite spot and would I mind picking another chair as I was only going to be a few minutes! So I instantly blurted, perhaps she should have left a towel to indicate it's taken. She looked at me strange, "towel, what?".

I had to explain it's common for German tourists to leave their towels on pool-side chairs as early as possible, so they get the best spots. If there are any Germans here.

2) Yesterday at work, boss asking where one of the guys was. I said he was "outside having a quick fag" - confused look from boss "err smoke". Common trans-Atlantic translation issue.

 

[Josh]

An employee once asked me, after her PC was replaced with a brand new one, where all of her desktop icons went.

I then explained that her old icons and their locations will be different than she had them on the old PC.

Her reply:

"But I got a new computer....not a new screen..."

 

[Danksi]

An employee once asked me, after her PC was replaced with a brand new one, where all of her desktop icons went.

I then explained that her old icons and their locations will be different than she had them on the old PC.

Her reply:

"But I got a new computer....not a new screen..."

... oh that's GOLD!

 

[CubaTBird]

I was at Kinko's (a copy center) and had 7 11"x17" drawings printed from a PDF file. No problem, but I needed to insert them into a 3-ring binder, then deliver them to a customer. So I asked if they would 3-hole punch them or if they had a 3-hole punch I could use. Everyday Kinkos stuff, right?

Nope, they did'nt have any 3-hole punches, said something about poeple walking off with them. Even behind the counter? Nope, but they could drill them for a $5 fee.

Thought that was pretty stupid, and told them as much.

haha, drill the hole punches for a 5 dollar fee. wow....

 

[Bibulous]

Kinko's soon.

 

[XNine]

Here's another:
Sitting in a meeting with another department (that I created and ran until I was promoted a few months ago), they were trying to decide on who to hire for a certain position.

This person would be involved with spreadsheets, purchasing, inventory queries, etc.
So when asked what "qualites should we look for," the dumbest person I've ever met said:
"We need to make sure they ahve good penmanship."

..... WHAT?!

 

[MongoTheGeek]

"I don't know."

Its not that bad except it gets used by a certain person too much. Right before (s)he tells me what (s)he doesn't know. It's a greeting. It's a way to to goodbye. It's a way to ask a question. It's a way to make a statement. It's filler for dead air.

 

[Danksi]

This person would be involved with spreadsheets, purchasing, inventory queries, etc. So when asked what "qualites should we look for," the dumbest person I've ever met said: "We need to make sure they ahve good penmanship." ..... WHAT?!

Your company still using these then?

 

[dejo]

"I don't think anyone offers anything freer than 25 (songs)" - Rob Glaser, RealNetworks CEO

How about one or two (sometimes three) free songs every week? My iTMS free music playlist is now at 206 tracks and I'm pretty sure I've missed a few.

 

[masterapple04]

I've got two:

1) Walking down the hall in school a couple weeks ago, a freshman was complaining about his grade in a MATH class - "I got a 69.9, and [the teacher] wouldn't even give me that half a point to pass!"

2) Last year in English, I asked my teacher what [sic] meant in a text. He said "For example." My response? "I can't think of one right now..."

 

[strydr]

OK, so this is more something someone did, rather than said, but..

This lady calls my friend over to look at her computer- she said the display was smoking.. Sure enough, the monitor is dead, so he replaces it. Not 30 min. later, she calls again, same problem.. So my friend replaces it again, but notices it's wet. Turns out, she had been watering her plant which was directly over her monitor, and hadn't bothered to notice the waterfall pouring into the back of the monitor.

 

[mymemory]

You can ask my ex girlfriend, she can tell you tons about me

 

[thedude110]

2) Last year in English, I asked my teacher what [sic] meant in a text. He said "For example." My response? "I can't think of one right now..."

Nay!

"Sic" means "intentionally written in a certain way," such that if someone has misspelled a word, and you're quoting that someone, the "sic" indicates that you are not the misspelling moron, but rather the conscientious author being faithful to the misspelling moron.

It's also how you would spell "sic" as in "sic 'em, boy!"

I believe it also stands for Silicon Integrated Circuitry.


/englishteacher

 

[CorvusCamenarum]

An interesting dialog between myself and the convenience store clerk. All spelling/grammatical errors included for effect.

Clerk: You dint give me 'nuff money.
Me: Yes I did.
Clerk: You gae me $6 and a bunch of quarters.
Me: No, those are dollars.
*At this point, the clerk proceeds to scrutinize each and every dollar coin I had given her*
Clerk: Dees dollars?
Me: Yes.
Clerk: When they start makin' dollar coins?
Me: 1794.

 

[Jaffa Cake]

It wasn't that recently that the following took place (it was about a year ago, in fact), but it's a bit of a favourite of mine so I'll share anyway...

One of my work colleagues was deciding whether or not to subscribe to Design Week, and was trying to work out how much she'd save by subscribing, rather than buying her copy at the newsagents. She looked up from her calculations and asked me, "How often does Design Week come out?"

 

[EricNau]

How about the time one of my freinds said he didn't think Apple's design was good.

 

[greatdevourer]

An employee once asked me, after her PC was replaced with a brand new one, where all of her desktop icons went.

I then explained that her old icons and their locations will be different than she had them on the old PC.

Her reply:

"But I got a new computer....not a new screen..."

I didn't know people like that still existed! I thought they all died out a few years ago (well, that's when people stopped turning on just the monitor and complaining that nothing was happening)

 

[watcher2001]

An employee once asked me, after her PC was replaced with a brand new one, where all of her desktop icons went.

I then explained that her old icons and their locations will be different than she had them on the old PC.

Her reply:

"But I got a new computer....not a new screen..."

I work in tech support and I am still amazed at the number of people who think the monitor is "The Computer"

 

[Jaffa Cake]

I work in tech support and I am still amazed at the number of people who think the monitor is "The Computer"

They're not all wrong, you know...