Help me out here please... (Relationship Question)

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by iMacZealot, Mar 26, 2007.

  1. iMacZealot macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    #1
    OK, I've been dating this girl for about two years now, and she's amazing. We have so much fun together. I also have a lot of fun with my best friend, who I've known forever. However, another close friend of mine has told me that the two of them slept together. Now, he has been spending a lot of time with her more recently, but she still treats me the same way, and I'd hate to bark up the wrong tree-- or any tree at all, really. Should I confront them about it?
     
  2. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #2
    Slept together since you've been dating her, you mean?

    What evidence? I mean, if it's hearsay, ignore it. Does it seem like something they'd do?
     
  3. iMacZealot thread starter macrumors 68020

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    #4
    I don't know. He's been spending a lot of time with her, and she's been great, the only problem is she's calling me less. Although, whenever I see her, she's the same....:confused:
     
  4. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #5
    Tell her what you heard, point blank, and see her reaction. If she's innocent, and you've known her as long as you have, you'll probably sense that.

    Ask your friend in the same way, preferably before he's heard from her.

    Better to clear it up now than always wonder, especially if you have reason to trust the other friend.
     
  5. Leareth macrumors 68000

    Leareth

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    Nov 11, 2004
    Location:
    Vancouver
    #6
    Ok simple question

    Are you sleeping with her?
    If not then its no big deal,
    if yes depends on what you guys agreed to while dating.

    does your best friend know you guys are dating?
     
  6. iMacZealot thread starter macrumors 68020

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    Mar 11, 2005
    #7
    We've gotten || that close, but never have. I mean, a lot of guys would like to tap her, but she seems pretty happy even though we haven't. However, she hasn't answered my calls since I've come back from Paris four days again, which makes me wonder...

    God, please don't make this true.... :(
     
  7. n-abounds macrumors 6502a

    n-abounds

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    Mar 6, 2006
    #8
    Pretty happy...cause she's gettin it from someone else. Sorry dude. :eek:
     
  8. Mechcozmo macrumors 603

    Mechcozmo

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    #9
    Confront the girlfriend in a non-confrontational way. "Hey, I heard this silly rumor..."

    Confront the best friend in a similar manner.

    Compare stories. That's what The Men in Blue (Linkety) do.

    If they check out, but things still seem off, wait a couple more weeks. Two years is a lot of time, and you don't want to throw it all away for naught. But don't be caught in denial, either.
     
  9. cycocelica macrumors 68000

    cycocelica

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2005
    Location:
    Redmond, WA
    #10
    Like people have said, ask her straight up. You could probably tell if she is lying. Or you could ask your best friend first. If they both honestly cared about you they would tell you the truth (then again if they cared about you, they shouldn't be sleeping together).

    How old are you?
     
  10. iMacZealot thread starter macrumors 68020

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    Mar 11, 2005
    #11
    I'm actually 15. We decided not to have sex because we thought that we were too young for it. Plus, we have some friends who have slept with people and were heartbroken when they were cheated on.

    I'm still not sure. I mean, I don't know where he heard that or how that rumor came about. Maybe I'll talk to her about it tomorrow....
     
  11. Mechcozmo macrumors 603

    Mechcozmo

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    #12
    If she's sexually active at 15, then you don't want to be her boyfriend.
     
  12. iMacZealot thread starter macrumors 68020

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    Mar 11, 2005
    #13
    Well, I'm not sure if she is or not. We've thought about having sex, but, we had a serious talk and came up with those reasons.

    (P.S. How do you like the new PowerPC avatar?)
     
  13. wmmk macrumors 68020

    wmmk

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    #14
    Yikes. People change a lot at this age (by the way, I happen to be a teen as well). A lot of kids our age are also not always honest or open about sex. Chances are, she'll deny having slept with your friend, regardless of whether or not this is truthful. That is simply the nature of 15 year olds. Don't be too sure if you think she's lying or not lying, because the version of her you know so well has presumably changed since you were 13. Does the friend who claims that they slept together gossip often? also, I hate to come across as overly cynical, but is there any chance that the friend who tipped you off wants you and your girlfriend to break up so that he can have a chance to date her?

    So sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everything is resolved.
     
  14. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #15
    Why did your best friend start spending so much time with your girlfriend? Seems strange, especially if she's spending more time with him than you.
     
  15. biturbomunkie macrumors 6502a

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    cali
    #16
    snap... you didn't...
     
  16. mpw Guest

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    Jun 18, 2004
    #17
    jsw is right, of course, just ask her straight out whether she slept with you best mate. You'll have to judge whether she's telling you the truth if she says she didn't. If she says she did you've then got another dilemia as to what you're going to do. Any ideas what your reaction would be if she say yes?

    You're 15years old though, I reckon you'll get over it even if it finishes there and then. Trust me, I'm old and wise, don't waste to much time worrying, get it sorted ASAP and either enjoy your time with her however you want or move on with somebody else. Even if they did cheat on you don't blow your top, take it on the chin, be the bigger man and try to stay friends if you enjoy their company.

    What?! Why? When I was 15years old I wouldn't have objected to my girlfriend wanting sex.....with me.
     
  17. Mechcozmo macrumors 603

    Mechcozmo

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    #18
    Hence the if in the beginning of the sentence. Like, "If the sky were green, it would not be purple." One or the other. And it is fine if she turns out to be innocent in all this! But if she turns out to not be... well, that's another post. Hope for the best, you know.

    I think that it won't last another five years.:rolleyes:

    Good advice. Take the high road; you don't get caught in the mud that way.

    Too bad it wasn't your girlfriend, that dark night in late summer so long ago. Oh! :eek:
     
  18. iMacZealot thread starter macrumors 68020

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    Mar 11, 2005
    #19
    In brief: :) -->:eek: --> :mad: --> :(

    So, I woke up today with the same good feeling I have every morning (well, most of them) and the feeling of hope (since today is Tuesday. ;) :apple: ) However, I wanted to talk to her early, and I know she's usually at school early, since she's the chair of the social department. So, I decided to come early today to talk to her after her meeting.

    However, there was no need to talk to her.

    I saw the two of them kissing in front of her locker. I stood in shock. I seriously didn't think it was true until I saw this. I didn't say anything. When they noticed that I was looking at them (the only other person in the hallway, by the way), they gave the classic red-handed look. I walked outside. I couldn't talk to either one of them today. She's now been calling and texting me quite often, but I just decided to turn my Sidekick off. I would talk to them, but I'm just too upset, and I'd probably say things I'd regret.

    If anyone needs me, I'll be in my closet covering the walls with Post-it-notes (or here.)
     
  19. cycocelica macrumors 68000

    cycocelica

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    Apr 28, 2005
    Location:
    Redmond, WA
    #20
    Wow thats pretty messed up. Its amazing what your friends will do behind your back. I definitely think you should talk to them, obviously when you feel like it. Sorry to hear that man.
     
  20. TheBusDriver macrumors 6502

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    Dec 24, 2005
  21. Sean7512 macrumors 6502a

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    Jun 8, 2005
    #22
    Wow, I feel for you man. I know how you feel, it has happened to me in highschool. I didn't talk to either of them for the longest time, I just looked at the bright side and saw my wallet get fatter and I had much more time to put towards schoolwork and hockey. It all worked out, I became the captain of my hockey team and had a 4.0 that year in school. I eventually started talking to my friend, which he was still dating my ex...

    Today, they are STILL together, its been about 4, almost 5 years! I talk to both of them regularly, and we still hang out quite a bit. I figured that if they really love each other then who am I to not support my best friend that has ALWAYS been there for me (except when he stole my g/f :p ) But, keep your head up and do stuff to keep you busy (school, sports, surfing MR, video games, and whatever else)

    Again, sorry...but you'll make it through :)
     
  22. halfprep455 macrumors regular

    halfprep455

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    Location:
    Maryland USA
    #23
    My girlfirend that I had been going out with for 8 months cheated on me and I sort of knew about it a week before I found out about it. (She told me after we broke up) The worst thing in th world is to think that your GF is cheating on you. If I were you I would ask her face to face about it. DP NOT do it over AIM or the phone. Then ask your friend about it. The best way to know if they she is cheating is if her and your friends stories don't match up. And even if she is cheating on you, you really dont want to be with a girl who does stuff like that at age 15.
     
  23. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030

    Macky-Mac

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    May 18, 2004
    #24
    i think it's time to concentrate on some of your other friendships
     
  24. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #25
    There is always the breakup sex, and then trying to makeup with your friend. j/k

    Never know for sure, but the relationship with your friend may be worth more in the long run than the girl.

    Heck, you'll probably end up sleeping with and stealing one of the babes he introduces you to.
     

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