how do i tell my girlfriend she's Fat without hurting her feelings...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Jinsou, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. macrumors regular

    Jinsou

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    #1
    Well, we've been together for a while and since then she's gained some weight.... but to the point it's not cool anymore, i want to motivate her to go to the gym or something for her own good u know... but then again, she's very emotional... as gentle as i would try to be she'll be like :eek:IM FAT? WHATTT /SLAP/ and not talk to me for a bit... so i need some counseling! thanks guys

    Jin
     
  2. macrumors 65816

    RITZFit

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
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    In my Corner
    #2
    suggest a morning jog or something so yall can "spend time together" ;) just choose some activity that yall both can do so it isn't so obvious
     
  3. macrumors G4

    Chundles

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    Jul 4, 2005
  4. thread starter macrumors regular

    Jinsou

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    #4
    Dude no way!

    u know i've been thinking of doing that, she's just so lazy some times.... but thanks man! good one
     
  5. macrumors 68040

    bruinsrme

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    Oct 26, 2008
  6. macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    Jul 17, 2005
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    5045 feet above sea level
    #6
    browse photos with her when you two first started datting and then whoop one out of you two now

    maybe she will figure it out herself
     
  7. macrumors 68020

    michael.lauden

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2008
    #7
    dude just get a dog that has to be fit and go on walks together all the time haha

    deff don't tell her she's fat. but if you start doing things in YOUR own life that might inspire her to change.

    if it's that big of a deal. who wants to date a fat chick anyway? dump that B!

    just kidding.
     
  8. thread starter macrumors regular

    Jinsou

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    #8
    LOL

    yesss, perfecct!!

    hehe... man i tried that, but maybe chose a wrong breed, got her a yorkie... poor little guy always sitting around
     
  9. macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #9
    Hey man, you wanted a guaranteed way... :D
     
  10. thread starter macrumors regular

    Jinsou

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    Nov 18, 2007
    #10
    hahahahahahahh dude, u made my day:D
     
  11. macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    #11
    her health

    and what shape is YOUR body in, boyfriend?
    telling her is not helping her. instead, tell her (only if you really mean it) that you want her to be healthy so you can grow old together. then, go for a walk. hold hands. exercise is good for both of you. you can work your way up to the gym later. Encourage healthier eating. eat together. find out why she is stress eating. Ignore that other guy, he is so wrong. Have sex more often! make sure its fun for her. with a little of the right kind of encouragement and reward, girls can accomplish alot. Do it together, and when you reach the goal, treat yourself to a fun weekend someplace you can show off that sexy slim body.

    my kid sis was super thin (stressedout sick thin) when she met her boyfriend. He is a super buff athlete. over a year, she slowly climbed back up to her normal weight, then got stressed out over life, ate late, and put on 30 lbs...she knew she was getting fat, and cried about it to me. so this is what he did, and now she is losing weight, will go to the gym, and will be bod beautimus when they go on their honeymoon in Sept.
     
  12. macrumors 601

    t0mat0

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Location:
    Home
    #12
    good advice. see it as potential to burn calories together, doing fun things.
    You can sort out better eating for the both of you. And also sympathetically, empathetically maybe slowly discuss why she's eating how she is.
     
  13. macrumors 65816

    lord patton

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2005
    Location:
    Chicago
    #13
    +1. She knows she's fat. She wants to change it. Make it easy for her. Start working out and eating right and watch her join in.
     
  14. macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Location:
    Kansas City
    #14
    Can you just photoshop her back to skinny?? :D

    On a more serious note umm first think about what has changed in her life that has made her gain weight? Did she start eating bad? Stop working out? Just leave high school, off to college etc...

    People tend to gain weight/eat due to lifestyle change or as comfort for some area in their life that has changed. Depression, anxiety, job, stress etc...

    Think about what changed that lead to her weight gain and then if it's something you can help her deal with talk to her about the issue (stress, job, money etc..) Don't try to fix her, you will likely only make it worse, try to listen to her problem that is causing her to eat, gain weight. I'm betting something about her or your relationship has changed along with her weight gain. Find that problem and you will find a solution to the other.
     
  15. macrumors Core

    Dagless

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    Location:
    Darkplace Hospital
    #15
    Oh there's no easy way I'm afraid :)
    My girlfriends had been very slim for years, we both wanted her to put weight on and when she did (still under her BMI though) I congratulated her and I got shouted at :eek:. I'd just do what other posters have said and go jogging together, don't say it's to "lose weight" but to "keep in shape", maybe. Running, swimming, cycling, very long walks/hikes are all good.
     
  16. macrumors G4

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    Location:
    Redondo Beach, California
    #16
    "Burning" calories just does not work. Unless you have many hours a day you are only going to burn a few hundred calories by exercise. The really big calorie losses have to come from diet. By simply not eating so much you can loose as as many calories as you need to where as with exercise you can burn at most a few hundred a day.

    Don't get me wrong exercise is good for many reasons. But to loose one pound you need to loose (by either exercise or diet) 3,600 calories. So if the goal is to loose 15 pounds you need to loose 54,000 calories. Most people are simple unable to exercise that much.

    You are going to have to go on a "Healthy Eating" project (don't call it a "diet" or you might as well call her "fat") But "Healthy Eating" is cool even if you are in good shape.

    Same with exercise. Don't call it that. call it "Active Lifestyle". It should not be something you do to loose weight. It needs to be something you do because that is what you like to do. For me, I like to ride my bike and swim and then hike or climb on week ends. Find something you like
     
  17. macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    #17
    It would probably be easier to just get a new girlfriend...

    But seeing as how you like her and all, do as the others say and try to get her to be active. Don't go out to eat often and don't let her purchase junk food to eat at home. Try to get her to go play a sport with you, that way you're enjoying it together.

    Or you could just have a lot of sex and burn calories that way. I think that's your best bet.
     
  18. macrumors 6502a

    eRondeau

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada's South Coast
    #18
    As a fat guy myself, I can tell you that weight gain is usually a symptom of a deeper problem. Either something medical or something psychological. She should see a doctor first to rule out medical. Has anything else about her life changed in this same time frame? Is she stressed-out over something in her life (work, your relationship, family) because such worries can cause either rapid weight loss or gain. What have you seen her doing lately that's different? Has she stopped walking to work because she bought a car? Has she moved closer to work? Did she get new job that doesn't allow her to move around like before (ie- was a waitress, now a receptionist?) Most people who put on weight don't do it because they suddenly start eating ten Twinkies a day, it's little lifestyle changes that all add-up over time.

    To answer your question, give her a goal and a reward -- and give yourself one too. Maybe her goal is to lose 30 pounds in six months and your goal is to stop smoking, and if you've both reached your goal by that time you'll go away for a romantic weekend. But if either one has failed the deal's off. So you're both working to better yourselves and you're doing it together, for each other.
     
  19. macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #19
    Go out for walks & cut the meal portion sizes in half, stop eating outside the dining room, etc.

    Get rid of anything with high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated vegi oil, and aspartame.
     
  20. macrumors 68040

    peapody

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2007
    Location:
    baltimore, md
    #20
    Just do everything together. Make the commitment for a healthly lifestyle together and it will make it easier for her to lose weight if you value that so much.
     
  21. macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location
    #21
    I suggest getting fit yourself. When she asks you what the heck you're doing, just tell her, "I'm just trying to get fit.....and you should start as well." If she doesn't get motivated watching you losing weight and getting fit, you're just going to have to live with a chunky girlfriend.

    And I don't know about giving her small rewards. The reward will be losing some of that weight. Don't believe she hasn't noticed. She definitely has.
     
  22. macrumors 68030

    Iscariot

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    Aug 16, 2007
    Location:
    Toronteazy
    #22
    Cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. She'll turn into a real beautiful woman.
     
  23. macrumors 601

    Prof.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    #23
    That's exactly what I was thinking. My sister is dating a guy who is somewhat of a gym rat - nice arms, chest and butt (of course I check him out:p). Ever since they started dating, my sister has been going to the gym every night after work.

    OP - how old are you and your GF, if you don't mind me asking. :)
     
  24. macrumors 604

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    Location:
    off world.
    #24
    "how do I tell my girlfriend she's fat" LOL.

    You, my friend, have a....

    [​IMG]

    :D
     
  25. macrumors 6502a

    LeahM

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    #25
    If you want her to lose weight, you can't tell her, if you do, you will probably get a bad reaction. But on the other hand, if you want her to start exercising, you are going to need to exercise just as much, probably even more. You could start jogging and then tell her that you need a woman partner because there are a lot of women joggers in your area, it would work especially if she has a little of a jealous streak. But then make it fun for her, if she's competitive you could race around the block. Or you could start eating healthy and ask for her help. Tell her that in order to help you, you need her to help you keep junk food out of the house and to help you create a meal plan. So the safe route would be to keep the focus on you but try to get her to participate.
     

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