I hate to ask this here, but it's like the only online community I know...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by crazydreaming, Dec 2, 2005.

  1. crazydreaming macrumors 6502a

    crazydreaming

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT -Westminster College
    #1
    Ok Ok, I've read posts from other members regarding dating and wondered who would ever ask questions like that here... well, turns out I myself can use some advice... Here goes, thanks for listening:

    I'm a freshman in college and its been a long time since I've been on a date. I've always been interested in this girl that I sit next to in one of my classes. One night it turned out that she was at a party I was at. We started talking and hit it off. From then on we weren't strangers in class anymore. We'd chat and walk together to our classes that we had together. There is never much awkward silences, we always find something to talk about... and not just school.

    So, anyway, I asked her if she wanted to study with me for an economics exam we had coming. Without hesitation we agreed, and so spent many hours studying in the library one night. At times we had difficulty studying because we would wander off topic and chat about other things. Next thing I know she asked me back to her place, we had more studying but we were getting slightly hunger... we needed a break. So she gave me the tour of her campus townhouse and introduced me to her roomates. Then we had some cake. We retreated to her room and finished studying. It was actually a great help for each of us studying together; it forced me to do good on the exam and it made it really fun. I said we should do something together sometime, and she agreed. Then I left.

    The next day we didn't see each other as much as we normally did because she finished her exam way before me. I had it all planned out that I was going to ask her to a movie or something, but didn't had very few chances to do so. So, during our music history class (the one where we sit next to each other) was my only chance. We usually leave the class together, but another curve-ball came up... I had to stay after to talk with my prof. about something... :( So. So, at the last minute of class I said we should do something later on or something like that and she told me to get her screen-name off facebook and send her a message (like myspace) --there wasn't much time.

    I did, asked her what she was up to tonight. She already had plans to hang out with her crew team and call it an early night because she had something early in the morning, but made the suggestion towards doing something tomorrow night. She's a big Harry Potter fan ie. read all the books, so I asked her if she seen it. Thankfully she said no, so I aksed her if she wanted to see it Sat night and she said yes. Gave me her number so we agreed that I'd give her a call tomorrow and work out the details... To me it is weak that I asked her online... I really really wanted to ask her in person, but wasted my chances. Thank god she said yes.

    So I have a date. I've really never done a movie date as a first date and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I went out tonight and picked out a nice outfit... I needed clothes anyway. I have a sense that I'm in over my head... she's a junior.. but we really hit it off and have a good time together, so everything should be fine.

    She's a pisces and I'm a Capricorn... I don't know if anyone believes in that stuff but I've sometimes found it true in the past.

    Just wondering if there's any suggestions to the movie date... Should I give her a rose or something when I go to pick her up? What should I do at the movie? after the movie? ...

    Thanks everyone!
    I'm so excited :D
     
  2. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #2
    just relax, be yourself, don't over-dress to a movie and play it by ear with what to do. you can ask her to dinner afterwards if it works out that way. oh and although a rose is sweet, i wouldn't do it. just my $.02 though
     
  3. CanadaRAM macrumors G5

    CanadaRAM

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Location:
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    #3
    A rose is too much for a first 'date'. Quit building up scenarios and expectations -- guaranteed they never work out like you planned, and not only is all the anticipation and fretting tiresome, when you try to play the situation to fit your own flightplan, you will always come off looking bad one way or another.

    Sounds like you have a great start - common interests, easy conversation and mutual attaction. It's enough just to be with her and enjoy her company. Be sincerely interested in her and what she has to say. Look her in the eyes when she speaks. Ask her opinion. Be honest with her (this doesn't mean spill your guts and proclaim undying devotion on the 2nd date - it means never lie to her, and never manipulate the telling of truth to a selfish end).

    The right thing to do on a first movie date is... watch the movie. Enjoy it with her, ask her if she wants to have a coffee/bite after. Take your cues from her.


    OK, one more story, from my own date-disaster files. First date, movie, sat down watched movie, she seemed restless. Leave movie, she wants to be taken straight home. Turns out there was a guy seated next to her grabbing at her the whole movie. She never spoke with me again. Boy did I feel like a clueless dork. So -- give her the aisle seat at the movie and you sit beside the dude with the raincoat on.
     
  4. crazydreaming thread starter macrumors 6502a

    crazydreaming

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT -Westminster College
    #4
    Thanks for the posts so far. I agree about no rose... don't wanna move things too fast. I know I just have to go with the flow and it usually doesn't work out as planned.
     
  5. emw macrumors G4

    emw

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2004
    #5
    It sounds like you have a good rapport going - which lends itself well to a first date movie, since movies don't allow a lot of talking during the date. Just be casual about it, enjoy the movie and make an offer of coffee or something after the show. It seems fairly apparent that she's interested in hanging out with you, so just take it as it is and see if something develops.

    So enjoy and have fun!
     
  6. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #6
    So is this like the only online community you know, or is it the only online community you know?

    If it's like the only online community you know, what do the folks over at the other forum have to say? Is the other community composed of macophiles or do you just mean the Community Discussion section?

    I reckon just let things happen as they happen you can't pressure these things to happen but you still have to show interest otherwise nothing will happen.
     
  7. crazydreaming thread starter macrumors 6502a

    crazydreaming

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT -Westminster College
    #7
    You lost me a bit there. But put it this way: macrumors.com is the only forum I actively participate in.

    Also, I'm not trying to pressure anything, just want to make sure I'm taking the right approach with doing things right.
     
  8. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #8
    From last weekend: don't ask her if she's a stripper no matter how emphatically you assure her that you think strippers are cool. I wasn't even trying to ask the girl out, just start a conversation... :eek:



    Sorry about that. :eek:
     
  9. crazydreaming thread starter macrumors 6502a

    crazydreaming

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT -Westminster College
    #9
    um... I know her enough that she isn't a stripper. and we have no problems making conversation... so far.
     
  10. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #10

    Well that sucks. :(
     
  11. crazydreaming thread starter macrumors 6502a

    crazydreaming

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT -Westminster College
    #11
    I like this girl and think there's something more than that. I'm glad she's not a stripper.. seriously
     
  12. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #12
    Just relax, enjoy the movie and go out afterwards to get something to eat/drink.

    If she's a fan of the books and movies, you'll have lots to talk about after seeing it if that's where the conversation goes. Just don't put any pressure on yourself and have fun.

    Don't worry about what should or shouldn't happen - just let it happen.

    D
     
  13. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #13

    Sorry, just being a smart-arse.

    Your thread title implies that this forum is similar to "the only online community you know" because you used the word "like."

    There is no right or wrong here. Either approach could end up with good or bad results now or further on down the road. So just be yourself, one thing I hate when my friends are interested in some girl is when they change seemingly overnight into something we can't recognise but she obviously likes. It's doomed from that very moment because all he is now to her is a mask and women will eventually see through everybody's masks and when that happens he's lost all his mates from lack of interest.

    So just be yourself, include all your faults, chinks in your armour, imperfections and let her make her own mind up. At least in the end of all this she's still going to be your friend even if she decides you're not her type.
     
  14. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #14

    [​IMG][​IMG]

    That's gold mad jew, is there a little story that needs to be told?
     
  15. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #15

    Not much to it. Got off lightly with a slap and a few days of silent treatment (is that even a punishment?). :)
     
  16. ibook30 macrumors 6502a

    ibook30

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Location:
    2,000 light years from home
    #16
    Glad you concluded no rose, and I wouldn't worry about moving things to fast, or moving things at all. Thinking a date or relationship is going somewhere is often presumptious and leads to expectations. Be like Buddha, want nothing and enjoy everyting that comes your way!

    And make sure you bring her broccoli, chicks love broccoli.
     
  17. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #17

    Shut up, they'll catch on...
     
  18. Leareth macrumors 68000

    Leareth

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2004
    Location:
    Vancouver
    #18
    Hmm dont do the rose thing
    but do invite her for coffee/light dinner afterwards
    after all she gave you cake when you were studying...

    as a Pisces myself I offer this advice : listen to her, be properly sympathetic at the correct times and have a real sense of humour...
     
  19. acceber macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2004
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    #19
    Don't think of it as a date, just have fun like you usually do, talking and stuff.

    And yeah, I wouldn't overdo anything on the first date - you don't wanna scare her away do you. ;)
     
  20. mac-er macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2003
    #20
    Movies are bad first and second (and maybe third) date activities.

    You are supposed to be getting to know the person, not sitting in silence for 2 hours. :rolleyes:
     
  21. CanadaRAM macrumors G5

    CanadaRAM

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Location:
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    #21
    :eek: :D

    Compounded the error by trying to explain why someone would reasonably conclude that she had the ... talent... to be one, did you?
     
  22. crazydreaming thread starter macrumors 6502a

    crazydreaming

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT -Westminster College
    #22
    but we already have hung out and talked. It's not like it's out first time being together. plus they say a movie is a good date for a pisces.
     
  23. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #23
    Don't worry about whether it's a good or bad idea for a date, just go do something you both like to do. And I wouldn't say that all pisces would like movies as a date, there are about half a billion pisces' in the world, most of whom I'd assume haven't ever seen a movie.
     
  24. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #24

    Well, I stopped myself from putting some cash in her top just in time. It was close though...
     
  25. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #25
    just don't be "one of those" and talk all during the movie. this is one time where it's ok (and probably preferred) to be mostly silent. ;)
    just another tip from the peanut gallery
     

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