In-laws

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by achie25, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. achie25 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2005
    #1
    Ok. I am pretty much sick and tired of my mother-in-law. I know that others my also have that same problem. There is not necessarily on big thing that has finally brought me to this point. Just an accumulation of a LOT of things along the way.

    She wasn't so bad before we had our first child last summer. But now that she is a grandmother she can really get under my skin. My wife thinks that I am mostly to blame. But I think that that has to do a lot with the fact that NOBODY ever tells my mother-in-law no (except me). She is handled with kids gloves from everyone else in the family. My father-in-law is great but honestly he is the most p-whipped guy I have ever met. So he coddles her and ususally has his lips planted firmly on her backside.

    My mother-in-law is a nice lady but she has issues that drive me nuts. Like the fact that she can be manipulative and very passive-aggressive. I know that our relationship over the past year has changed some. I don't think that she cares a lot for me at times. I can sleep all right with that fact. The only thing is that it is starting to bring a little tension between my wife and I. We have fought over it before. Nothing changes because my wife thinks that I am mostly to blame for the tension between her mother and I. Also even on the things that my wife agrees with me, she would never go to bat for me because NOBODY ever goes against her mother.

    Well I just needed to vent a little. Especially since we are leaving tomorrow to go camping with my in-laws for 5 days.
     
  2. iSaint macrumors 603

    iSaint

    Joined:
    May 26, 2004
    Location:
    South Mississippi y'all, near the water!
    #2
    Avoidance is good. Take the kids off to do something with them alone. Or, leave the kids with her and take your wife off. Stay busy with little chores of camping.

    I'm lucky, my monster-in-law lives five hours away. My kids don't care much for her, either. I'll give my wife credit: she's the only one of three kids who calls her parents and tries to keep up with them.

    Bottom line is that you and your wife should raise your own kids. Don't let the lady interfere with your marriage.
     
  3. thedude110 macrumors 68020

    thedude110

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    #3
    Have you talked to your mother-in-law about the status of your relationship? If you've noticed a change in the way you and she interact, odds are she's noticed a change, too. If she's as passive-aggressive as you claim, you're certainly going to have to be the one to open a line of honest communication.
     
  4. xsedrinam macrumors 601

    xsedrinam

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
  5. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #5
    Just leave a copy of "To Serve Man" out on the coffee table every time she visits, and bookmark the section on In-Laws. ;)
     
  6. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #6
    I'm having some of the same issues - but my MIL is now living with us till November.....

    It drives me crazy sometimes, but I'm working on not getting annoyed at every little thing.

    I'd try not to do things the specifically cause issues, but you might also want to discuss things with your wife on how to make the situation better. At least show that you want to make it better. As for telling her no, don't stop - she needs to grow up and get over any problems she has with that. Convincing her of that might be a challenge.

    Have fun :D

    D
     
  7. xsedrinam macrumors 601

    xsedrinam

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
    #7
    Bond away! It's good advice in the previous post not to sweat the small stuff and not to let it accumulate by keeping track. Try to give her a clean slate every time you see her and if you need to define boundaries try doing so without raising your voice, hiking your leg or showing your rear. :)
     

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