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Discussion in 'Community' started by mrjamin, May 27, 2003.
Ever met a boyfriend/girlfriend over the internet?
what are your thoughts on internet dating?
Re: Internet Love
no...it sounds strange.....maybe because it is
My last 2 girlfriends were met from the internet...5 years worth of girlfriends to be precise.
The way I see it, I'd much prefer to meet someone off the net than in a bar. However, there's also the slight of chance in meeting people.
I don't see the big deal in meeting women off the net, mostly because I've been doing it for a while now (6 years...wow) and I've been pretty fortunate not to run into the stereotypical situation.
I've done it - and its great. Also I've been hearing that a lot more people are going online to find a date
The nice thing about it is that you can really learn a lot about the person before you meet them, their sense of humor, they're intelligence, etc.
Now, sure, they could all be lying, but eventually if you plan on meeting them you make it at a public place and casual.
And usually you'd swap pics before you meet.
My college roommate met his now-wife on the net. Chatted a few times, finally met her in person, got her pregnant that day, married happily for five years or so.
I never tried it myself, but after the initial yiiickk response it does seem as though it would have some advantages.
I personally know three people who found their spouse (not just a boyfriend/girlfriend) on the net.
1. Married man. Hooked up with a woman on the Internet. Divorced his wife and moved to another state to live with the woman he met. I don't know if he's happy or not.
2. Divorced woman. Hooked up with a man on the Internet. He moved to her city and they got married. Lasted a couple of years, then they got divorced.
3. Divorced woman. Hooked up with a man on the Internet. She moved to his city and they got married. Living happily ever after.
Statisticians wouldn't consider this an ideal sample size. But it seems to be as good a shopping method as any other, since you have to start somewhere and you still have to meet in person and spend time together to know if you have a hit or a miss. One difference is that you are more likely to end up with a long-distance relationship!
Ha, now that's a story to tell the kids
Wow, it worked out great.
And I forgot to mention that there are several friends of mine who have tried it (Match.com)
The closest thing for me was when I was 16 I met a girl on a local BBS. We chatted a while and then met in person. We dated for a few weeks. We really liked each other, and there were no surprises when we met except that she was prettier than she had led me to believe.
A friend of mine met a woman on the internet and they dated and lived together for over three years. He was always fighting with his ex-girlfriend over visitation with their child. She attempted to use the fact that he met his then girlfriend over the internet. When his lawyer asked her how many men she had met in bars in the time that he had been with this one woman, and how many of them had spent the night in the home with their child, her lawyer objected. Needless to say, she was unable to hold his girlfriend against him. (Of course, they both need to grow up and get along so the poor kid can have a somewhat happy childhood.)
Mr. A brought up an excellent point: You get to find out more about a person before making the decision to actually meet. When it's a good situation, it makes actually meeting them even better. Again, I've been very fortunate.
Phew! Well, that makes me feel better about shairng my story! Thought i'd test the water a bit first
Basically - she's quite a big fan of a musician who's website i do. The first day we launched the forum, anne (my now girlfriend) was the first person to post! Anyway, as with most forums, things were a little slow so there was only a select bunch of us posting. Me and anne ended up talking on IM, where we chatted for about 6 months - then it turned out that we were both hoping to go to the same event, this gave me even more reason to go as she'd be there. We met, spent the week together, and then on the last night we got together - we've been together for over a year now, and she's moving down in about 6 weeks!! Kinda freaky, but very, very cool. At least it wasn't thrui some dating agency
That's very cool - congrats. I hope everything works out!
Re: Internet Love
It hurts like in real life
I know 3 different people that found their partner in the internet, 2 of them are married.
I met my current girlfriend online. I met her 4 months ago (via www.hotornot.com/m/ actually), and we have been going strong ever since. The whole "get to know someone before meeting them" worked out well for me - I don't bother with people that I know i won't get along with.
As awful as this may sound, consider this analogy -
meeting people : shopping :: meeting people online : shopping online.
in the real world, you go out to a bar (or whatever), find someone you might like, and you go for it. you have no idea whether or not you will like the person. just like a store - go to a store, find something you like, and buy it. you might like it, you might not.
the internet world has the same principles, with the same constraints. you go to an online store, you find something you might like, you get to see a picture of it and a desciption, and you buy it. hopefully the product shipped to you will be the same thing in the picture. and as with internet dating services, hopefully the person you chose to meet corresponds to their picture and description.
so basically if you are ok with online shopping, why not try online dating? it does work, and if you use common sense (get to know the person better via phone or whatever), you can get a good idea of what you are getting yourself into, before you actually get yourself into it.
lastly, you will NEVER find a bar that has as many potential bacholors/bacholorettes as the internet. and the fact that you can easily search for people with common interests/beliefs BEFORE you meet them is just icing on the cake. IMHO
I hear advertisments for Internet Dating service on the Radio. Every day I get at least 1 - 3 E.Mails wanting me to sign for a free trial. I think that if I were in the market, definitely would give it a try. Agree with eylikeart that the advantage would be the information that you can learn ahead of a meeting!
meeting someone on the internet also has the advantage of increasing your chances of finding someone who actually knows what she's doing with a computer
met the girl of my dreams online about 18 months ago, wasn't to be unfortunately, bad timing etc. still friends mind. and she looked like Kelly Brook, for all those who know who she is
LOL That is too true!
I have met one person on-line. Didn't work out, but the emotion is just as real.
I think meeting someone on-line is just as good as meeting them in person if not better. When you meet on-line physical appearance do not get in the way. You just have to be careful not to read in too much between the lines....
It also lets you avoid insurmountable religious differences, such as one partner being a macperson and one a windozer, or one a mozziller and one an interneter explorerer. Or... I shudder to think of it... one prefers the Dock on the bottom and the other prefers the Dock on the side.
I've met people from online before. I've even dated a few people after I met them. For the most part I've been lucky in who I've met. Granted, there was one or two who either scared me, or at least left me wondering where they hid during daylight hours LOL But seriously, I've had two major relationships with people that I met from online...the most recent guy I ended up being with for 3 years and engaged to for 2 of those years.
Even though those relationships didn't work out, I did meet one of my best friends in the world from online
Also my brother's friend met his wife from online. The two of them talked online for about 6 months(he lived in Louisiana, she in California), then one day he flew out there to meet her, and ended up staying! They've been married for about 6 years now, have two kids together and are very happy!
As long as it's done safely(saying this from a woman's perspective), meeting people from online can be really great!
Kelly brook??? Wow! Nice one! Sorry it didn't work out tho
I've never met a girlfriend on the internet, myself, but I see how it can be a good thing, i.e you're getting an idea of ther person's real personality, and not basing your decision to date them solely on their looks.
However, there is the risk that you don't know who you're talking to. That 19 year old hottie may actually be 50 or so years old. It is wise to be extra careful in online relationships.
Meeting someone online is one thing. Online dating is another.
I'm assuming you are young or you'd not be asking this. Half of a relationship is physical, and if you can't get naked, its not going to work. Maybe it will be cute when you are 12 or 13 or so, but once you are a bit older you'll realize what I am talking about. Sex is a very important aspect of a relationship, and if its not there or not good, the relationship is not good, period.
His profile says he's 21, but you make a good point.
I'm not old enough to have gotten into that part of relationships, but I see how it can be very important. As you said, having an online girlfriend does not allow for this, and therefore cannot be a full romatic relationship. It can, however, be a meaningful relationship in other ways, i.e. friendship.
Friendship yes, satisfying relationship, no way.
Also.. if he's 21.. he really has to get out there and meet some people.. like seriously. Chop chop.