iPHone Apple Geniuses are not who they say they are!

Discussion in 'Wasteland' started by zed, Jul 14, 2010.

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  1. zed
    macrumors 6502

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    #1
    Before you read this: Please don’t judge me. I’m just sharing my story because everyone else is.

    Wow… okay, I wasn’t sure if I should mention this on this forum, but here goes...

    First of all, – just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn’t about her. I guess that’s messed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad’s family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

    Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

    I don’t want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn’t make it for me- but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy crap went down and I had to leave home. (My dad’s family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

    Sooo… I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

    My friend and I went to go pick her up. Looking back on it now, it’s pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her… and it wasn’t a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn’t like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn’t sisterly.

    After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister’s friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He’s a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

    Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I’m not saying that I’m proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

    My friend and my sister never hooked up I don’t think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

    Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart… and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time – like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I’ve ever seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

    A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can’t say I was actually surprised. They had taken a while to hit it off, but eventually it just happened. But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was this one time we were at a party and my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.
     
  2. macrumors P6

    -aggie-

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  3. macrumors 65816

    ijen0311

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  4. macrumors 65816

    Sleazy E

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    #4
    probably the best post I have read on this forum. :D
     
  5. macrumors 6502a

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    #5
    Did I mistakenly click the Jerry Springer forum?
     
  6. macrumors 68000

    ajohnson253

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  7. macrumors 6502a

    rdrr

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    #7
    Confirmed!

    Please attach pics or it didn't happen.

    Troll
     
  8. macrumors 65816

    Sleazy E

    Joined:
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    #8
    if you were ever a star wars fan, yes :). if not, it is still interesting.
     
  9. macrumors 68040

    F123D

    #9
    I read too many of these exact same stories on the Android forums. Are you sure you posted in the right place?
     
  10. macrumors 68020

    Joined:
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    #10
    Best thread EVER (well, at least this week). I was hooked from start to finish, and loved the ending. Sure beats the iPhone 4 tear train going on laterly.
     
  11. macrumors 6502a

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  12. macrumors G5

    yg17

    Joined:
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    #12
    ....then your father said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"
     
  13. macrumors regular

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  14. macrumors 68040

    Knowlege Bomb

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  15. macrumors 6502a

    LordOBoogie

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    #15
    Good lord. Mods, please move this to the Wasteland, where it belongs.
     
  16. macrumors newbie

    Joined:
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    #16
    I just spit Coke all over my monitor:D. People in the office are thinking I am crazy from laughing so hard.
     
  17. macrumors 6502a

    spyda

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  18. macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
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    #18
    Well I am an idiot - I JUST got the story. Lol. Didn't read the last line.
     
  19. macrumors 68020

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    #19
    Too lazy too read, can someone give me the Cliff Notes version?
     
  20. macrumors regular

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  21. macrumors 65816

    rotobadger

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    #21
    Good story. Star Wars rules. Does this have anything to do with Apple?
     
  22. macrumors 6502a

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  23. macrumors 6502

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  24. macrumors 6502a

    sn0warmy

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  25. macrumors 6502a

    spyda

    Joined:
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    #25
    Try sparknotes.com brah
     
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