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pknz

macrumors 68020
Mar 22, 2005
2,478
1
NZ
Yes I often think I am the one putting the effort in to communicate etc. I'm sure its only my perception.
 

katie ta achoo

Blogger emeritus
May 2, 2005
9,166
5
If you feel like that is happening, you should sit down with your SO and discuss it. Love should not be a one-way street...
 

Moshiiii

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Apr 4, 2006
553
1
Sarasota, FL
Ya but what if you leave the person thinking possibly there is someone out there that could make you feel more loved. Than you notice your wrong... thats a grave mistake :(
 

Queso

Suspended
Mar 4, 2006
11,821
8
Yes I often think I am the one putting the effort in to communicate etc. I'm sure its only my perception.
You can't expect your partner to do everything your way. If it's really love, it will show in any number of ways.
 

MrSmith

macrumors 68040
Nov 27, 2003
3,046
14
If you're lucky it starts as an expressway, then you get married and it soon becomes a country lane :cool:
 

floriflee

macrumors 68030
Dec 21, 2004
2,707
1
The times I've thought that and complained about it to the hubby I'm usually brought to the realization that there are other things that he does that I didn't take notice of since they weren't what I was expecting. All in all, we show our love in different ways.

If after rethinking everything you really think your SO is just taking advantage of you then it's time to talk about it with him/her. Unfortunately talking about it here with other people isn't going to make it any better. So...good luck in communicating with your SO. :)
 

devilot

Moderator emeritus
May 1, 2005
15,584
1
All in all, we show our love in different ways.

Unfortunately talking about it here with other people isn't going to make it any better.
I know that seems like common sense, but I guess I'm guilty of both of those sentiments. I think you're so right, it's easy to only look for signs that we would recognize and so easy to overlook the others.

And I'm guilty of using MR as an escape instead of dealing with issues head on. :eek:
 

spicyapple

macrumors 68000
Jul 20, 2006
1,724
1
Do you sometimes feel like you do more for your significant other than what you get in return?

The question is not if your significant other loves you in return, rather it is if you love yourself enough to continue this one-way relationship.
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,241
6
its all about communication.

love is often seen as one-sided, but put yourself in their shoes.
its also about compromise.

if things aren't working, you can't force them too.
 

Mr. Durden

macrumors 6502a
Jan 13, 2005
716
0
Colorado
I think one person will always be putting more into a relationship than the other. I dont think thats necessarily an evil thing, but I do think it is unavoidable. Everyone is unique, and that includes their threshold for being outgoing and/or having their partner being not-so-outgoing.

But, I could be wrong. ;)
 

ejb190

macrumors 65816
Just remember that one-way streets usually come in pairs going in opposite directions... Right now it might seem like all give and no take, but, if you have a balanced relationship, the tide may very well turn and you will be headed down the street going the other way. That has happened more then once in my relationship, and we haven't even been married a year yet!
 

Moshiiii

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Apr 4, 2006
553
1
Sarasota, FL
Thanks for all the two cents. I take peoples advice very close hearted.
The fact is I think I'm being selfish. :(
My girl friend of two years have moved to college for nine months. I'm also going to college and working monday through friday but my schedual is nothing compared to her brutal schedual. Tuesday through saturday she goes to school from 9:00am-5:30pm than work at 6:30pm till 10:00pm. She does this to make ends meet. Which is something I can't comprehend because I go to school and live at my parents house too, spending my free cash I don't save on over priced coffees and videogames.
This is all new to me (only two weeks to be exact) and I'm not use to it. I use my spare time on making things for her or on weekends when we do see eachother I foot the bill for everything.
For example valintines day is comming up and I bought a vintage bike for her and have been spending HOURS in my garage trying to get this thing looking new. I know nothing about bicycles and dammit they are complicated! Unfortunate she only has the money and the time to get me a card. Which is perfectly fine.

Has anyone else been through a temporary long distance relationship? How did you two work it out? How did you cope with yourself that your SO doesn't have much time for you anymore.
 

Quboid

macrumors 6502
Oct 16, 2006
441
0
everywhere
Love can very well be a one way street. Someone might ask themself, if he/she doesn't love me are they holding on. The sad truth is people cling until they have no need to, and well....the rest is history.
 

someguy

macrumors 68020
Dec 4, 2005
2,351
21
Still here.
And what if yo were right. Would that be an even worse mistake.
Um. I'm gonna say no because you'd be happier in that scenario.

I think if you have something that makes you happy enough, and it works, then why risk it? I am happy in my current relationship. Am I as happy as I could be? I don't know. All I know is that I've never been happier, and trying to top what I have right now isn't worth risking, not to mention losing, what I have now.

I guess there are always those people that hit big at a casino and put all the money back into the machines, thinking they are going to win even bigger than before, only to go home empty handed...

Doesn't make sense to me.
 

SMM

macrumors 65816
Sep 22, 2006
1,334
0
Tiger Mountain - WA State
I think I am still in love with everyone I have ever been in love with. That does not mean relationships endure forever. Often, one person is no able to get the same thing from the relationship as the other. Or, they do not perceive relationships the same. Then it is time to move on, while the good feelings still linger.
 

devilot

Moderator emeritus
May 1, 2005
15,584
1
Has anyone else been through a temporary long distance relationship? How did you two work it out? How did you cope with yourself that your SO doesn't have much time for you anymore.
That sounds a bit like the situation I was in the last few years (we just broke up though, after 4.5 years :( ). But yeah, in the very beginning, I moved out to a uni and he stayed at home. Then we flip-flopped, I moved back in w/ my parents and he moved about 40 mins away. We made it work for awhile.

If you both want it badly enough, it will work. But just remember, it will take work. And patience. And understanding. From the both of you.
 

Quboid

macrumors 6502
Oct 16, 2006
441
0
everywhere
Um. I'm gonna say no because you'd be happier in that scenario.

I think if you have something that makes you happy enough, and it works, then why risk it? I am happy in my current relationship. Am I as happy as I could be? I don't know. All I know is that I've never been happier, and trying to top what I have right now isn't worth risking, not to mention losing, what I have now.

I guess there are always those people that hit big at a casino and put all the money back into the machines, thinking they are going to win even bigger than before, only to go home empty handed...

Doesn't make sense to me.

I'm sorry I miss the part where this thread was referring to extremly happy people.
 
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