Is there a class on understanding women?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by wPod, Nov 30, 2005.

  1. wPod macrumors 68000

    wPod

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    #1
    So, is there a class on understanding women? Well, I think it would take more than just a class, more like a double major, no, double PhD with like 30 years of dedicated study. Ha.

    I've been dating the same girl for more than 3 years now (wow, that seems like a long time when I write it down) I graduate college in a year, next december, and she gets her grad degree in a year and a half (next, next may) . . . dont do the math, lets just say I took some extra time to get my undergrad degree :-/

    Anyway, I in casual conversation say "we should move to Colorado once we graduate" That seems like something nice. Nice pretty place, lots of fun things to do, we both love camping, hiking, biking in the summer then skiing, snowshoeing etc in the winter, it sounds like a perfect place to me. And it seems like something any college girl would love to hear. A guy that wants to settle down in a nice place.

    But no, I spent the last hour getting chewed out for being close minded. "Why does it have to be Colorado?!!" was my answer. And then when I said it could be anywhere else, I was wrong, it had to be Colorado. . .

    Man, I'm just about to think that its much easier to just pick up a chick at a bar anytime I feel like . . . well, anytime I feel like doing something that shouldn't be discussed in these forums. That, or finding the class on how to understand women.

    Oh well.
     
  2. kainjow Moderator emeritus

    kainjow

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2000
    #2
    Heh, it's all about the context. Most likely you didn't say it to her as if you are the perfect man in the world, or she didn't hear it like that ;) Either way, talk it over. If you can't get past the little things in life, then how can you get past the big things? :)

    Regarding "understanding women", have you ever tried? :D
     
  3. wPod thread starter macrumors 68000

    wPod

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    Aug 19, 2003
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    Denver, CO
    #3
    I try all the time!!!! But I am about to give up. Well, give up on the understanding them. I could never give up on women!
     
  4. ibook30 macrumors 6502a

    ibook30

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Location:
    2,000 light years from home
    #4
    It sounds like you are already enrolled in the class on "how to understand women". Perhaps you just aren't passing...

    The story struck me because a similiar thing happened to me, similiar time in my life, it was a clue to a break up. So with that said - either find out what she really means or start looking for a loft in Denver.
     
  5. Chundles macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #5
    Futility 101.

    Love 'em, don't try to understand them.
     
  6. kainjow Moderator emeritus

    kainjow

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2000
    #6
    Love, relationships, etc - I see it like this: 50% of all marriages fail, so you either a) don't rush it and find one person to spend the rest of your life, or b) screw it and do whatever with whomever... :D Personally, I'd choose #1 :)
     
  7. wPod thread starter macrumors 68000

    wPod

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    Aug 19, 2003
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    Denver, CO
    #7
    Heh. . . I like the way you think. I figure I should move up there. if things dont work out with my current gf, then ill be in CO with a good job and single. how bad could that be?!
     
  8. OutThere macrumors 603

    OutThere

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Location:
    NYC
    #8
    Having a real all-cards-up-front talk with a woman you are good friends with about understanding the female psyche will typically put you off the topic for a few years at least...and provide a firm reminder that, typically, women can be loved, cared for, laughed with, talked with, married, and great friends, but never understood. :p
     
  9. CanadaRAM macrumors G5

    CanadaRAM

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Location:
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    #9
    No. They're in a class all of their own...

    :p
     
  10. acceber macrumors regular

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    Jul 26, 2004
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    #10
    I reckon you're exaggerating. :p

    There should be a class teaching "Why men exaggerate and misinterpret what women say and blow it all out of proportion".
     
  11. yenko macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2005
    Location:
    SouthWest-USA
    #11
    You have failed Boyfriend Training 101 big time.
    Usually arguments like that mean that there is another problem hidden in the "argument" and you failed to pick it up. :eek:
     
  12. blackpeter macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2001
    #12
    This is typical of a college relationship as college comes to an end. Not to reduce your very real and complex life to something so simple, but this seems to be a reality for many people in your situation.

    You're both (likely) very different people from when you met 3 years ago. And, more importantly, you will change even more as you progress into adulthood and away from school. This isn't the time for either of you to hold one another back from exploring the world as adults.

    If you want to go to Colorado (which is a lovely place to live), then go. If she wants to join you, then great. If not... then great! You've got a lot of living left and I'm sure you'll meet someone else when the time is right.
     
  13. wPod thread starter macrumors 68000

    wPod

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    Denver, CO
    #13
    I believe this, but I still think it falls under women 501 . . . if they would just be direct, then there would be nothing hidden in the 'argument' they would say what they are thinking, we would get through the argument that is actually at hand, then everything would be taken care of, one way or the other.

    nope. no exaggeration. I spent an hour listening to how I was wrong, and trying to make up for it. what is blown out of proportion is whatever i said in the first place to spark the whole deal! if i could take the class on women then i would know how to phrase what i meant. its women who exaggerate the comments. come on, if i were to say to a woman, "that makes you look good" then they would say "well, i dont normally look good? you are such an *******" I hardly think it is guys who blow anything out of proportion.
     
  14. Golden_315 macrumors member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2005
    #14
    Don't even ever tyr to understand them. Really you'll only understand two things. When they are pissed and lust. That's it. They have some sort of secret facial language. I've seen two of them have an entire conversation in front of me with out saying one word. It scared and confused me.
     
  15. wPod thread starter macrumors 68000

    wPod

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    Location:
    Denver, CO
    #15
    ha, ive seen that too. yeah, wow. I figured a PhD would cover it all, but maybe im just underestimating!
     
  16. Lacero macrumors 604

    Lacero

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    #16
    It's true then, that men are from mars and women are from venus? ;)



    Here's to the Crazy Ones [​IMG]
     
  17. Les Kern macrumors 68040

    Les Kern

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2002
    Location:
    Alabama
    #17
    Now THAT is one damn funny line.
    But in all seriousness, there is no class that can help us. We are different species. We'd only get together to mate if my wife made more money than me.
     
  18. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    #18

    The clue is in the word 'should'.

    Maybe 'could' might have been a better choice of word or even rephrasing the idea completely differently so it doesn't sound so ummm... bossy.
     
  19. yenko macrumors 6502a

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    Aug 29, 2005
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    SouthWest-USA
    #19
    Based on your above "explanations" is part of Boyfriend Training 101 and
    you're explaining too much. Failing grade.:(
    The appropriate answer is a silent one; like a raised eye brow or an expression of surprise. You chose instead to make a comment. One that leaves you no way out.
    All this makes sense to you and I hear you. What she hears is: "makes me look good?":mad::mad::mad:
     
  20. yenko macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2005
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    SouthWest-USA
    #20
    You betcha! :D

    I wouldn't have it any other way. :p
     
  21. ahunter3 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2003
    #21
    Read everything that came out under the rubric of "feminism" from 1970 to 1990. No one says you have to agree with any of it (lots of women don't), but the one thing about the feminists is that they weren't worried about pissing guys off, so in terms of expressing what lots of women feel a lot of the time, lots of honesty there. (And while some stuff has changed a lot, some stuff hasn't changed hardly at all).

    What you won't get from feminism (since feminism is a "complaint mode" kind of thing) is the whole positive, we-like-being-chicks, "Yay us" stuff. Probably some of the things that you've noticed about life (and courting and coupling and sex and stuff) seem to you like females got it made. Finding message boards where sufficient numbers of women feel comfy about sounding off about how they feel can give you a sense of where women themselves feel like they got it made and are quite happy about it.

    Doing a compare-and-contrast between that and what feminists said will give you a good sense of where women agree that they've got it made, where they are frustrated 'cuz guys don't understand the ways in which they get screwed over and very much don't feel like they've got it made, and where they out-and-out feel like guys have got it made and consider it unfair (or in some places, don't consider it unfair, just a fact of life, etc).

    In short, you gotta be the proverbial fly on the wall listening to the women doing a class on coping with men. It's the shortest route to understanding women.
     
  22. Deepdale macrumors 68000

    Deepdale

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    May 4, 2005
    Location:
    New York
    #22
    If "could" had replaced "should," and some degree of rephrasing was involved to minimize the perceived bossiness aspect, it still may have fallen short. There may well be some underlying issues involved that are fully worthy of exploring before future plans are made.

    Whenever one has to measure every word for fear of being thoroughly laced into, it is not a good sign. The yellow flag has been waved, now proceed with caution.
     
  23. Applespider macrumors G4

    Applespider

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2004
    Location:
    looking through rose-tinted spectacles...
    #23
    I agree with Blue as to the 'could/should' debate; but the context of this would be good.

    If you're sitting watching a show set in Colorado and you've been making comments about how great the skiing etc is there, then the comment as said originally flies. If it came out of the blue, then it's a bossy statement where she now things you've decided where you're both going post-college without giving her any input at all. What if she was about to say that you should go and live in NYC for a while?

    The reason that she's now saying it has to be Colorado is to find out why that was your first choice. You saying that it could be anywhere is, to her, a cop-out that you haven't really thought about this at all but you're still making decisions for her. She's asking about Colorado to find out why you thought that.

    NB: Tip to passing Understanding Women: Don't let women think you are trying to make the big decisions without asking them. You might know what/where you want to do/go but either lay the groundwork so that if you ask her, she thinks the same thing and thinks it's her idea or discuss it first.
     
  24. rdowns Suspended

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #24
    Here's a few things I've learned in my 43 years of attendance in the Understanding Women Class. In no particular order.

    "Don't be ridiculous" is the only response when asked if something makes her look fat.
    Put the damn seat down.
    Never comment on shoe purchases.
    Always ask, never tell. i.e. I was thinking that after college, we could move somewhere else. What do you think?
    Don't argue with her girlfriends, just sit there silently with the satisfaction that you aren't with them.

    That's all for now. I need my morning coffee for any further deep thinking.
     
  25. Deepdale macrumors 68000

    Deepdale

    Joined:
    May 4, 2005
    Location:
    New York
    #25
    Those are all good and should enable most men to live to see another sunrise.
     

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