A little background before I get to the issue: Back in high school (like 1999 or something) I moved from the middle of the country out to the SF Bay area here in Cali. I've never been very socialable (which would explain the amount of time I spend here, heh) so when I find someone that I get along with, have a lot in common with, etc, I tend to value that and friends like that are few and far between for me. So back in the high school I went to before I moved, there was this girl that filled that place. Since I was never very socialable we didn't spend that much time together but it was a lot more than any other friends I had, so she was pretty much the only one I kept in touch with after I moved. Fast forward to a couple years ago, when I'm coming more to terms of my identity and I just need someone to talk to, I never made any friends out here to begin with so I deide to get back into touch with her (after e-mails and phone calls trickle down to non-existence) when I'm going to visit some family in the summer. I get in touch with her after I get there, my grandma drove me out to the house she lived at but her and her family had just moved so I call the number that's on the real-estate sign and find that she's there. She seems happy to talk to me again and we start conversing again. I mention that I'd like to see her again and maybe we could get together sometime. She says that she's busy but she'll let me know. OK I think, I'll just call her in a couple days. Meanwhile I'm stuck at my grandma's house with nothing to do and I'm just builiding up severe anxiety since I was pretty sure my family wasn't the most queer-friendly family in the world so I was scared ******** of what would happen if I were to tell then that I wasn't exactly straight. So I call her up again and tell her what's been on my mind for the past few months. She's supportive about it and everything and didn't seem to give a **** what I was or anything. That made me feel quite a bit better at the time. A couple days after that I freak out completely and so some really stupid **** that makes a lot of my family quite pissed off and worried and I try to call her again from my grandma's cell that I found but I get a hold of her mom instead. For whatever reason I came out to her and it turns out she's a fundie and says some ******** about its the media that's making people feel this way and whatnot. In hindsight this was a really stupid thing to do and probably creeped out my friend some. I call her again (either later that night or the next day I don't remember) and I can tell she's trying to avoid me this time. She keeps on making excuses to not see me and in the back of my head I know this but I keep on. The day that I leave I call her again and as we say goodbye I say something which was really dumb (it was something like "love ya, bye" I think, doesn't sound too harmless now but during the past few days there it was pretty damaging) especially considering the state of our friendship at the time and I was probably being clingy and pushy about things and not thinking about what I was saying to people and how that may affect the way I relate to them and this time I know that she's a bit creeped out by the way she says bye and hangs up the phone. I call her again right after that and try to explain myself but it doesn't end up going very well so we say bye again. After I get back to my parent's place here I call her up again and I can tell she really doesn't want to talk to me and I kinda feel that the only way it can go from here is downhill so I say that it would probably be a good idea if we didn't speak anymore. She agrees and that's the last I spoke to her. That was about three years ago. The issue I'm having now is that I'm starting to think about her a lot again. Its almost I feel that things aren't resolved or something, hell I don't know. I've changed a lot in the past three years and I'm sure she has too, I just don't know why I suddenly started thinking about her again and whether this is a good thing or I should just let go and forget about it.