It's Time for a Candidate to Toss His Hat Into the Void

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by IJ Reilly, Jul 13, 2004.

  1. IJ Reilly macrumors P6

    IJ Reilly

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    #1
    The nihilist vote can be plucked by speaking up for absolutely nothing.

    By Crispin Sartwell

    July 13, 2004

    Many proud but concerned Americans have asked me, "What is the nihilist position on the challenges that confront our cursed, bloated nation?"

    The first thing to keep in mind is that everything we say, even this very sentence, is false. Nihilism faces the issues of today and of tomorrow with a bold, positive vision.

    Terrorism — As shown by the popularity of Stephen King and John Ashcroft, people enjoy being terrified. What a beautiful time to be alive, momentarily.

    War — We enthusiastically propose a war of each against all, which is polling well and is amply justified by the best intelligence. If there is a threat, it may well be presented by human beings like you and me, or possibly like you and I. No doubt a return to the Hobbesian state of nature will find broad bipartisan support in the Senate.

    Education — We believe that children are our future. This idea fills us with profound despair.

    Tax policy — Read my lips. Deficit spending is a metaphor for all existence: a void, a pure, perfect nothingness that encompasses all of us, ingesting us into its maw of Absolute Negation Without Antithesis; let us commit ourselves to it utterly, tumble over its lip and fall forever, forever … eroding into the screaming wind of utter absence.

    Abortion — We are the only party that dares to oppose both life and choice. Life is an infestation, choice an illusion.

    Gun control — Arm the unborn.

    Church and state — "If God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him" (Mikhail Bakunin).

    Drugs — A great nihilist heroine, Nancy Reagan, once said "Just Say No." No.

    Bush and Kerry — We miss Al Gore. But whoever is elected, nihilists will win this election. We commend George W. Bush's lies and the emptiness of his inner life. John Kerry stands tall and proud, simulating commitment in the most profound manner to Nothing at All.

    Mutual Simultaneous Annihilation — Let's say that Bush and Kerry started eating one another, beginning at the toes and moving toward the head, finishing up by devouring one another's mouths. What, we ask a deeply divided nation, would be the result? We are the only party facing this crisis squarely.

    Nothing works. It really does.

    My fellow Americans, my fellow flies swarming closer and closer to the great swatter, let us rush upon oblivion together.

    *
    Crispin Sartwell teaches political science at Dickinson College in Carlisle, Pa.​

    http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-sartwell13jul13,1,1332930.story
     
  2. IJ Reilly thread starter macrumors P6

    IJ Reilly

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    #3
    Sartwell seems to be asking us to think, and to consider the deeper meaning of things -- though I hardly know why we should bother...
     
  3. Desertrat macrumors newbie

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    #4
    'Cause it's enjoyable, IJ, although at times it might more resemble mental masturbation...

    :), 'Rat
     
  4. IJ Reilly thread starter macrumors P6

    IJ Reilly

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  5. zimv20 macrumors 601

    zimv20

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  6. blackfox macrumors 65816

    blackfox

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    #7
    anfsjkhnkfd fdhkjhfas sagd dkakjkjhdk askjdh.
     
  7. Sayhey macrumors 68000

    Sayhey

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    well said, blackfox. well said.
     

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