Man Jailed After Shooting Self in Groin

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by craigdawg, Jul 13, 2004.

  1. craigdawg macrumors 6502

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    Sactown
    #1
  2. kgarner macrumors 68000

    kgarner

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    Jan 28, 2004
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    Utah
    #2
    Could this guy be a contender for the Darwin Awards? I know that they usually pick someone who died, but technically this guy did remove himself from the gene pool, which is really what the awards about. Maybe an honorable mention or something.

    (Note: I could not read the article--stupid work blocking the site. So I am assuming that his...um...you know...is no longer with him. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong.)
     
  3. kylos macrumors 6502a

    kylos

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    #3
    Ya, I believe Darwin awards only require that you remove yourself from the gene pool. Death isn't mandatory. And I think stuffing a shotgun down your pants and firing would be a pretty effective way to remove yourself from said pool.
     
  4. jimjiminyjim macrumors 6502

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    Canada
    #4
    5 Years prison for having a gun that you shouldn't??
    Seems a little much compared to some of the things people get away with nowadays.
     
  5. King Cobra macrumors 603

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    Mar 2, 2002
    #5
    Oh, man... first was the store thief that KOed himself. Then there was the bloody guy at Wal•Mart. Then there was the guy using a car's tracking system, and now this. Darwin competitors, step up to the plate!
     
  6. SB Mac macrumors newbie

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    #6

    Maybe the five years is a combination sentence for the illegal weapon and the idiocy required to stick it down your pants.
     
  7. Mr Poop E Pantz macrumors member

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    WV
    #7
    On the plus side he could always get into porn when he gets out, after all it worked for Mr. Bobbit.
     
  8. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

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    Oct 20, 2002
    #8
    The good part of him being sterile is that he won't be passing on his current intellect. He is very lucky that he didn't hit a major artery like the Femoral and bleed out. The gentleman forgot to take a fire safety class.
     
  9. craigdawg thread starter macrumors 6502

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    Sactown
    #9
    Dang ol' work. Let me summarize:

    1. Man goes to pub
    2. Man drinks 15 pints of ale
    3. Man retrieves shotty from home
    4. Man returns to pub and shoves said shotty down pants
    5. Shotty goes off, taking at least the berries, if not the twig
    6. What's left of berries removed by doctors
    7. Man cited for illegally possessing shotty
     
  10. topicolo macrumors 68000

    topicolo

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    Ottawa, ON
    #10
    I don't think he has enough left for the business. The only porn he will be getting into is watching the videos.
     
  11. bluebull macrumors member

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    Jul 7, 2003
    Location:
    DC
    #11
    IMO, shooting himself in the groin is punishment enough.
    I don't even want to imagine what that would be like.
     
  12. pooky macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2003
    #12
    I'm guessing that without his cojones, he won't be much in the mood for porn. There's the lack of a sex drive and the painful memories of good times in the past that might steer him away.

    I vote monkhood. Learn to sing. Wear an orange robe. Shave your head. The good life.
     
  13. FelixDerKater macrumors 68000

    FelixDerKater

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  14. Sabbath macrumors 6502a

    Sabbath

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    #14
    For this kind of stupidity, No. Even if he hadn't lost his balls the judge should have ordered then to be removed :rolleyes: Imagine if it had been someone elses balls he had blown off :confused:
     
  15. hvfsl macrumors 68000

    hvfsl

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    London, UK
    #15
    He will probably loose a lot of his strength because of this. This is because when men get operations to turn them into women, cutting off their privates causes their muscle bulk to go down to that of an average women.
     
  16. caveman_uk Guest

    caveman_uk

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    Feb 17, 2003
    Location:
    Hitchin, Herts, UK
    #16
    Illegal possession of a firearm is a serious offence over here. Remember we're very touchy about guns and our regular police are not armed.

    Besides, in the UK he'll only serve half his sentence if he behaves himself inside - which is more than likely as he'll have no testosterone to get him into fights etc... He'll just have to start thinking with his brain now not his balls.
     
  17. dvdh macrumors 6502

    dvdh

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2004
    #17
    I guess he should have bought one of the cases advertised in the google ads at the bottom of forum. He might not have shot off his balls then.

    All considered though, given it was a shot gun accident, he got off pretty lucky (if you consider eunuchs to ever be *lucky*).
     
  18. pozytron macrumors newbie

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    Jun 3, 2003
    #18
    And with a shotgun, no less...
     
  19. bousozoku Moderator emeritus

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    Jun 25, 2002
    Location:
    Gone but not forgotten.
    #19
    It's just a good thing he didn't hold the weapon on himself and force himself to have sex. That would have really gotten him into trouble.

    It's sad what we see out in the world. It's sad what people feel that drive them so far.
     
  20. fredwick macrumors member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2003
    Location:
    LA
    #20
    anybody notice the google adds at the bottom? lol it would of be wise for this guy to invest in a case.
    :p :D

    edit: there not there anymore at least for me. before they were advertising shot guns and cases.
     
  21. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #21
    I think that will still be the least of his worries. It all depends on the actual damage and the functioning after the repair.
     
  22. musicpyrite macrumors 68000

    musicpyrite

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    Location:
    Cape Cod
    #22
    Am I the only one who thinks this is good for men in general?

    Now, one more man will think with his brain, instead of his balls.

    Only 3 billion to go.
     
  23. ThomasJefferson macrumors 6502

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    Virginia
  24. hvfsl macrumors 68000

    hvfsl

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    London, UK
    #24
    lol
     
  25. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

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    May 19, 2002
    #25
    This sums it up quite well...
     

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