married members only question

Discussion in 'Community' started by meta-ghost, Nov 19, 2003.

  1. meta-ghost macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
    Location:
    San Francisco
    #1
    for our married members...

    does your spouse have access to all your email accounts?

    why or why not?
     
  2. pivo6 macrumors 68000

    pivo6

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2002
    Location:
    Minnesota
    #2
    Yes, for our home one. I have nothing to hide from her. She has her own e-mail addresses that I can check if I want to, but I really have no reason to.

    My work e-mail is on a different computer with all sorts of security crap on it. It's work only and it really wouldn't interest her at all.
     
  3. pseudobrit macrumors 68040

    pseudobrit

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2002
    Location:
    Jobs' Spare Liver Jar
    #3
    Code for:

    that's where I get all the porn sent
     
  4. rainman::|:| macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    Location:
    iowa
    #4
    yes, in as much as we share the same Mail program but have different mailboxes, and he knows my password for all of my other accounts... mostly, because i don't see any reason to hide it from him... plus, for instance joint checking account has just my email address, so when he does electronic correspondence on the account, he needs access to my email... it just works out better. conversely, i know all of his passwords, and i don't see any reason to check up on him or anything...

    pnw
     
  5. pivo6 macrumors 68000

    pivo6

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2002
    Location:
    Minnesota
    #5
    No my work computer has all of that blocked. My porn goes to my Yahoo e-mail account with the rest of the spam. :)
     
  6. AmigoMac macrumors 68020

    AmigoMac

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2003
    Location:
    l'Allemagne
    #6
    yes...

    why not? :), family mails, work mail, junk mail goes to one of our 5 e-mail addresses ... ;)
     
  7. rainman::|:| macrumors 603

    rainman::|:|

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    Location:
    iowa
    #7
    so why are you asking anyway? or, more simply, who's on which side of the argument? ;)

    pnw
     
  8. 3rdpath macrumors 68000

    3rdpath

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2002
    Location:
    2nd star on the right and straight till morning
    #8
    yep, we have access to each other's accounts but i have no interest in checking her mail. and she's welcome to check mine....talk about boring...
     
  9. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #9
    ha, its not an issue for us. I know her passwords and she knows mine, but we never look at each others mail generally. There are times when one of us is not home and we need the other to check each others email....

    Occasionally I'll get some silly porn spam mail and she might see it and just laugh.

    D
     
  10. joker2 macrumors 6502a

    joker2

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2003
    Location:
    DC area
    #10
    sorta

    I know most of his variations/methodology on passwords, he knows the one that will log into my desktop (which unlocks the keychain so mail can check the rest...).

    We generally only check the other's mail if asked, especially around this time of year when we're corresponding with various family members regarding presents -- wouldn't want advance knowledge of some great plan, now would we?;)

    When both people know that neither has anything to hide, it's boring snooping on someone. Individuals should be able to have conversations / emails with others without your spouse reading every word, but that only works if you have good communication with your spouse in the first place so that neither of you is suspicious of the other.

    Granted, take my ramblings with a grain of salt... I've only been married two months, though we've been together over seven years.
     
  11. ckwm macrumors member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Location:
    UK
    #12
    My wife has full access to my account, but that doesn't mean she always checks it. She can also open my mail if she wants to and access all of our accounts.

    I can access her stuff too, but can't really be bothered!
     
  12. meta-ghost thread starter macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2002
    Location:
    San Francisco
    #13
    Re: sorta

    why i started the thread?
    we've been married 9 years....
    my wife has so many email accounts i wouldn't know where to begin even if i was interested. she has always had access to my 2-3 accounts but the thing is.... she is always going through them.

    without a doubt, it's not a question of suspicion on her part - just boredom and a bad habit. i want to have conversations with family members without writing knowing it itsn't entirely private. of course i could open a new account but why should i?
     
  13. Squire macrumors 68000

    Squire

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    #14
    I know my wife's email password and I she knows mine but I've only checked her email once. She was away in NZ before we were married and was not replying to my emails. I wanted to know if she had read them and was purposely not responding or if she simply hadn't checked. I just looked at the inbox for a second, saw all my emails hadn't been read, then got out of there. I know...I'm bad. ;) Now, though, I have no interest in her email and she has no interest in mine.

    Squire

    <Edit: BUT...if I knew she checked my email all the time, I'd be a little sour. It's just that email is supposed to be kind of private.>
     
  14. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #15
    I don't think my wife knows my passwords, but all she has to do is ask and I'll be glad to give them to her. It's mostly a matter of her not being very comfortable on the computer to begin with, and the sheer volume of passwords we have between the two of us. Thank god for the keychain, I don't think I know half of my own passwords! I know her login password, but that's because I was the one who set up her account, so technically I could access her email, but its all stuff from her friends and her family, and occasionally her students. She even requested not to have administrator access just so she could feel relatively safe using the computer without being able to really mess things up. She's kinda paranoid that way! Hopefully that will change when we can afford to get her a laptop of her own. Yay for the G4 iBook!
     
  15. caveman_uk Guest

    caveman_uk

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Location:
    Hitchin, Herts, UK
    #16
    I know my wife's password because I set up her account, set up the dock etc. I've never bothered looking at her email because most of her email is girly stuff.

    She doesn't know mine although I've left her at the machine when I've been logged in so she could have looked if she wanted.
     
  16. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2002
    Location:
    totally cool
    #17
    interesting

    My wife and I like to have some personal space so I don't touch her Powerbook and she doesn't touch my iMac. We share a bank account however we still have our separate personal savings accounts. I guess I'm lucky because my girl doesn't want to be all up in my BIZ-NASS... :)
     
  17. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #18
    Currently we have separate E.Mail accounts. I have the one that comes with our DSL account. My wife has her's with a .Mac account. Neither one of them are password protected. Although I know what password she uses. My E.Mail account is the original so I still get some of her's and I forward them to her. We really don't have any secrets.
     
  18. Roger1 macrumors 65816

    Roger1

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Location:
    Michigan
    #19
    I have access to my wifes accounts, but she doesn't have access to mine. I have access to hers because I set them up. As for her having access to my accounts, she is welcome to it, as I don't have anything to hide.
     
  19. Foxer macrumors 65816

    Foxer

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    #20
    Technically, my wife could check my accounts. They're all in entourage or Mail and there aren't any passwords to guess. However, I don't think she would know how to open the programs, since her computer knowledge is around zero. She has to use one at work, and I don't know how she does it. Basically, she can get on the internet and use Word and that is about it.
     
  20. medea macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #21
    Well we will be married next month and have been living together for 2 years so I belive I count, and yes my future wife Jessica has access to my email accounts, that is we both use Mail for our main accounts, as for all of my various other accounts no she does not have direct access to those but only because she would not be able to remember all the passwords, but if she were interested she is more than happy to go into them as I have nothing to hide from her. If you feel the need to keep email secret there may be some deep rooted problems in your relationship, now that aside even though we both use Mail we still respect each others privacy and I would not read her personal emails without first asking and the same goes for her.
     
  21. WinterMute Moderator emeritus

    WinterMute

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2003
    Location:
    London, England
    #22
    I don't open her personal mail and I wouldn't read her email, even though I set it up and know her password, if I didn't trust her, I wouldn't have married her.:D

    My PowerBook is password protected, but she knows the password, if she wants to grep a load of audio and video stuff, she's welcome to, but if she touches my Quake she's dead...;)
     
  22. Peyote macrumors 6502a

    Peyote

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2002
    #23
    She know my password and I know hers, but we don't snoop on each other. If I wanted to read her emails I could, but how boring would that be....sifting through all those emails from her mother and family, spam, etc. I can barely deal with the spam on my account....I can't imagine dealing with hers too!


    Seriously though, it doesn't really cross either of our minds to check the other's email, even though we can anytime we wanted to. There's just no need.
     
  23. jxyama macrumors 68040

    jxyama

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2003
    #24
    sorry if i don't belong here, i'm not married but very seriously engaged. i don't share any of our personal emails or accounts passwords.

    not sharing those things have nothing to do with trust, as far as we are concerned...

    i consider those things to be personal... just as we don't share toothbrushes, we don't share personal email passwords...
     
  24. Foxer macrumors 65816

    Foxer

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    #25
    I should also add that while my wife never goes in my mail accounts (too my knowledge), I go in hers all the time. Not to spy, but to clean it out. She's had upwards of 100 spam messages sitting unopened at one time, and then she complains that it is slow to respond. So I do go in there whenever it indicates that there are more than 15 unread messages just to take care of housecleaning.
     

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