Most embarrasing moments....

Discussion in 'Community' started by iGary, Sep 6, 2005.

  1. iGary Guest

    iGary

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    May 26, 2004
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    Randy's House
    #1
    I know there are some other threads scattered hereabouts, but I just had to share this, because, in retrospect, it is freaking hilarious.

    My biggest client is doing a big world-wide aerial shoot.

    One of the photographers and I became pretty good friends as we have an Annapolis-in-common trait to share. When he went back to school at the U.S. Naval Academy, he wanted to do some part time work, so I suggested that he help me out.

    Now, with this said, I told him that I didn't want him coming to our house if it had any chance of possibly ruining his naval career (my partner and I have been living together for five years - I am gay...) don't ask don't tell, you know.

    He said - pfft no big deal (his girlfriend lives right around the corner from us, it turns out).

    So the first night he has leave we go out, drop a FedEx package and I offer to buy him take-out Chinese so we can eat while I show him the project I need him to work on.

    I get everything on plates, and we decide to eat in the living room. I turn on the TV and find the Simpsons, which I leave it on.

    Next thing I know, "Fred" asks me "Uh, I though we were watching the Simpsons."

    I said "we are."

    He said "Uh, no we're not."

    So I come out of the kitchen and what I see in full 32" glory is some 20-something guy with a boner the size of Sears Tower pleasuring himself. My partner had left some of our "pron" in the DVD player and it was playing in full stereo and HD in front of the very embarrassed young midshipman.

    Horrified. :eek:

    He shrugged it off, but still puts naked females on all of my computer desktops when I am not looking.

    Anyone else dumber than me? :D
     
  2. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

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    Adelaide, Australia
    #2
    That's an awesome story iGary! :D

    I think I relate to it far too well. My old bosses were gay and it was a pretty intimate workplace. I'd see some rather strange things...



    And that's exactly how I used to react too. :D
     
  3. ham_man macrumors 68020

    ham_man

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2005
    #3
    Nope. That definitely takes the cake... :rolleyes:
     
  4. pdpfilms macrumors 68020

    pdpfilms

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  5. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #5
    Yeah, I was like (to myself) HOLY ****!!!

    I thought he'd walk right out.
     
  6. Phat_Pat macrumors 68000

    Phat_Pat

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    #6
    i've got alot unfortunately there no good unless i tell them out-loud. i guess my body motions helps tell the story.
     
  7. Lacero macrumors 604

    Lacero

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    #7
    I said "Hey, look at that ugly girl!"

    One of the school buddies I was walking with said that ugly girl was his sister.
     
  8. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

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    #8
    I've done the usual "are you pregnant" faux pas. :eek:
     
  9. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    Feb 22, 2005
    Location:
    Gah! Plymouth
    #9
    This isn't embarassing at all

    but i remember pointing out a crippled girl at a mall (she broke her leg and was in wheelchair) so my friend screams "CRIPPLE WHERE" and points to the girl.

    30 minutes later this cripple finally chased me down and swore to high heaven at me. My friend just laughed at me so i kicked him. T_T

    cripples hate me
     
  10. katie ta achoo macrumors G3

    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    #10


    You've got a video camera, don't you? :) :)


    edit:
    hooray! *900th post!*

    ..I need friends IRL.
     
  11. killuminati macrumors 68020

    killuminati

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    Dec 6, 2004
    #11
    That's the kind of thing you see happening in movies. I always thought to myself that that sort of thing would never actually happen to anybody in real life.
     
  12. runninmac macrumors 65816

    runninmac

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    Rockford MI
    #12
    Wow I hope I never have that big of a akward moment. When did this happen?
     
  13. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #13
    About two weeks ago.

    He's a really cool guy - went to the mall early for me to get me a place in line for the Apple Store opening in Annapolis - he could care less about the whole thing. Just did it to be nice.
     
  14. Plymouthbreezer macrumors 601

    Plymouthbreezer

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    #14
    Just today I was opening yogurt at lunch, and *pop* the yogurt spills all out. Now I have a white, creamy matter on my pants between my legs. Do I put water on it and look like I wet myself, or just wipre off the excess yougurt and if anyone asks say I was pleasuring myself? I chose to do the peed pants route, but some off the "white" was still there after the water dried. Mind you, I eat in a classroom, and at the time I was alone. I so thought to myself, "Man, who's going to believe I spilt yogurt on my pants?!?" :p

    Not my worst, just the most recent. :D
     
  15. Phat_Pat macrumors 68000

    Phat_Pat

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    #15
    ahhh i see how it is :p ;)
     
  16. Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

    Jaffa Cake

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    #16
    Hey, if that's your story and you're sticking to it that's fine by us. Your partner left it in there. OK...

    ;)
     
  17. AmigoMac macrumors 68020

    AmigoMac

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  18. minimax macrumors 6502

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    #18
    Not really something that happened to me but a friend of mine works at a very famous dutch gay newspaper as an illustrator. When the newspaper celebrated their 20th birthday national broadcasting was there to interview the guy who started the whole paper and about the role it played in gay emancipation. The interview however was conducted at my friends desk with the man in question rubbing his shoulder friendly during the whole conversation while he sat rather uncomfortable behind his mac. it was a pretty extensive interview at prime time news so really everybody saw it. To make things worse he is also a dj that specialises in hardcore 70s gay disco music. For a straight guy, he now has all the odds against him :eek: :p
     
  19. mpw Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    #19
    Last summer I slipped a couple of discs in my back(I thought you’d appreciate that iGary) while gardening and after enduring the pain for six weeks with no real improvement I finally caved to pressure from friends to go see a chiropractor, I’d been putting it off ‘cause they’re ~$200/hr here.

    Anyway I get to the practice where I’ve booked an appointment with Dr ‘Smith’ and I find out that Dr Smith is a women. Not really a problem but I wasn’t expecting it for some reason and was already a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect.

    Anyway the she took a full medical history and explained what was likely to be going on with my back and then asked me to take just my shirt off and proceeded to give me my first ‘beating’. My back felt improved over the next 3weeks of a couple of sessions a week to a point where my back now only ached a little and my biggest complaint was numbness down my legs sometimes.

    At the next session she said she wanted to concentrate on this numbness and out of the blue after about six sessions she asked me to remove my trousers as well as my shirt.

    So I’m stood there in just my boxers and she went about having me walk about a bit to check posture etc. then I lay face down for another, strangely relaxing by now, ‘beating’ and a bit of massage with power tools. All pretty standard for past sessions.

    She then said she wanted me to turn onto my back while she went about a new, to me, type of massage. I lay on my back with one of her hands under me palm up at the very base of my spine, her other hand then went palm down at the base of my abs about an inch from the source of my “happy trail” (see other thread!). Then she started to gently rock me for about 10mins.

    At about 5mins. into this treatment it is obvious to me that I’m losing the battle while I lay staring at the ceiling reciting the multiplication tables in my head and trying to remember obscure keyboard shortcuts etc.

    Slowly the material of my boxers, literally an inch from her hand where she is concentrating her stare on my massage, is become ever tauter until it’s practically pulling the material from under her palm. :eek:

    All the time she doesn’t say a thing and I’m just laying there with the reddest face. Then the treatments over and she lets me dress etc.

    When I left her treatment room I’m still red faced and…err...proud and have to walk through a room of six or so female patients in the waiting area to pay the female receptionists. I suppose they may have just thought it was my back that had me walking bent double.

    I’ve not been back for another appointment since and solely rely on huge amounts of pain killers!
     
  20. gwuMACaddict macrumors 68040

    gwuMACaddict

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    #20
    holy cow... i think that iGary is going to win this contest...

    i don't get embarassed too easily... but my mother walking in on me with my girl was pretty disconcerting... :p
     
  21. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    Location:
    Randy's House
    #21
    There was s similar thing that happened in a Queer as Folk episode. :)

    If my mom walked in on me doin' the nasty when I was a kid, um, dayum.

    You should have that back looked at if you have numbness or weakness.
     
  22. gwuMACaddict macrumors 68040

    gwuMACaddict

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    #22
    was 21 at the time, ugh... :eek: :rolleyes: :D
     
  23. mpw Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    #23
    When you say doin' the nasty were you doin' it with anyone or alone?

    When I was a teenager I once feel asleep on my bed (above the duvet) while....er....'reading' a....er....magazine. Anyway I woke up in the morning to see my mom closing my bedroom door behind her as she left my room having come to wake me up. It was ten I realized that;
    a)I was naked above the covers :eek:
    b)I was still holding the magazine in one hand :eek: :eek:
    c)The other hand was still holding...er...me :eek: :eek: :eek:
    d)I'd obviously fallen asleep having finished the article I was reading, if you get me :eek: :eek: :eek: :D
    and
    e)I was late for school again!
     
  24. Lacero macrumors 604

    Lacero

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    #24
    I don't think it fazed your mom at all. :p She's seen your little pee pee many times. :D
     
  25. mpw Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    #25
    I've no idea. We. Never. Spoke. About. It. And hey, less of the little! :mad:
     

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