Need advice with a friend and marijuana

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by popsandfriends, Jul 25, 2006.

  1. popsandfriends macrumors member

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    #1
    Hello,
    This will be my first non-technical related thread. A chance to get more into this community. I have a friend, she is 15, two years younger than me. Shees been doing alot of Pot, and last night she told me she went out and got really high, and then some guys gave her beer and then she got really "messed up" and couldnt move and was wobbly and shaking. She hangs out with some pretty bad guys. She is 15, not very big at all, and she goes to these guys trailers who are all 21 or older and then she gets high and drunk with what they suply to her. For some reason, I like her....I know, odd right? Lately I've been having strong dreams of her when shes drunk/high(which ive never actually seen btw, but I do know she does it) she is always messed up in my dreams, and in some of my dreams she gets killed, and then I wake up. They are getting more frequent and stronger. I feel that It is my duty to do something, the situations shes putting herself in may be "cool" and im sure being intoxicated and stoned feels like quite a rush,but its going to end up killing her one ay or another. When I try talking to her about not going out or doing it, i get the usual "stay out of my pot biz" crap that all stoners feed to me. of course then she gets defensive and says "dont knock it till you try it!" and then i tell her "Ok, how about giving me a kiss and I'll give you a million dollars?" "Cant knock it till you try it, i might just give you a million dollars" and that usually ends the conversation hah....Were friends, ive said it, shes said it. We fight about the pot use, thats all we fight about. I dont want to drive her away by constantly telling her not to do something (even though its her own choice). If she does end up getting raped or killed, im NOT going to feel very good about myself. One of my friends told me I should talk to the cop at my school (good friend of mine) about it...That opens up a whole new ballgame. If I tip the cosps off about her, and all of her friends, not only will she find out (maybe) but if all her pothead friends find out it was me then im a dead man. She gives me all the locations where shes gonna smoke, peoples names, i mean she trusts me. I feel like tellign the cops would be ruining her trust and being a snitch, even though I want her to get over this crazed addiction. Its like, do I want her to hate me, or do i want to sit back and watch her die. I need some advice here :/

    Thanks

    EDIT: People who are currently doing marijuana need not give advice. I dont need any comments that are going to start a flame on legalization, etc...I just need some advice
     
  2. Lau Guest

    #2
    To be honest with you, it doesn't sound like a "crazed addiction" to me. She sounds like a teenager experimenting.

    As her friend, you're not wrong to be concerned if she gets herself into a state which might not be safe, but I wouldn't necessarily advise telling the police or any other heavy handed approach. She needs to be careful to be around people she trusts if she's intoxicated, and if she's sick someone should make sure she goes to sleep on her side. You don't trust the guys she hangs around – are they really dangerous or are you just annoyed that she's hanging around with other guys? If she can't really trust them, she should make sure she doesn't get totally off her face in case they don't look after her.

    Far better to make sure she's safe when she's doing what she's doing – it could be a lot worse than pot and beer. Keep a non-judgemental eye out for her. She'll trust you more for doing that, and being worried about her well-being will be much better received. You aren't going to stop her doing this, and neither will reporting her to the police. Making sure she's ok when she's doing it is far more important than getting her a criminal record to prove your point.
     
  3. Excursions macrumors member

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    #3
    You should ask her to smoke with you instead. That way you know you can watch out for her. Wouldn't hurt to drink a couple beers either. Definitely don't go to the police.
     
  4. popsandfriends thread starter macrumors member

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    #4
    I get what you mean I think. The guys she hangs out with, she told me once that when they got high/drunk, theyd touch her and shed think it was funny cause she was under the influence and when she tried to get away,shed call because of the drugs effects. That sounds to me like a perfect rape scenario... I dont want her to have a criminal record by any means, it would pain me to goto the police, and this experimenting seems to be taken to new levels each time. It used to be pot once a month, now its a few times a week with alcohol. I asked her if she was going to use cocaine, and she said "I want to use other drugs, but ehhh i dont know they are heavy" So im worried she'll stem off into other FAR WORSE things...
     
  5. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

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    #5
    It may come down to this(i'm not say it has yet or will but it could) either you tell the cops, she gets taken away and fixes for addiction(or goes into an even deep adiction), but hates you for it(perhaps one day she would see you were right but that is not know if she will do that or not) or you let her be her self and go off the deep end, and ruines her life or die.

    You may have to pick 1) Pick her well0being over being friends with her 2) Be her friend, but not tell anyone or get help for her. You might have to decide weather you care about "hanging out with her" or her health.

    This is a time you need to be careful about your action, because if you come on to strong about it, she might stop being you friend, and then you would lose your ablility to advise her.

    Do you know were your parnets stand on this? They mighty be able to help.
     
  6. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #6
    Well it could come down to two things.

    1. Friend starts doing cocaine pain killers and other fun stuff and stopping on their own (which was my way of doing things)

    2. Friend starts doing cocaine pain killers and other fun stuff, gets addicted, starts copying her pain killer prescriptions and hitting up every doctor for a pain she has and keeps getting percs and vics from them then she tries to kill herself and ends up in the CCC and now in a rehab place. Like a coworker of mine.
     
  7. MovieCutter macrumors 68040

    MovieCutter

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    #7
    I hope you aren't suggesting that marijuana is a gateway drug...
     
  8. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #8
    Was and is for at least 10 people I know.

    Almost everyone at my old job started on Marijuana then went on to cocaine, OCs, Heroin, pills, acid, meth, etc. etc.

    Just stating that seems like a pretty odd coincidence that basically everyone i know that started with marijuana is now doing or already has done more dangerous drugs after the marijuana.
     
  9. benthewraith macrumors 68040

    benthewraith

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    #9
    My experimentation was taking leftover hydrocodone to get to sleep during an excessive bought of insomnia which still hasn't completely gone away. :(
     
  10. MovieCutter macrumors 68040

    MovieCutter

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    #10

    There must be some other underlying factors because for normal experimentation at that age, there is no known study that suggests that marijuana is a "gateway drug". It's a common myth and any evidence has yet to be presented to suggest otherwise. Just sayin'. I've never used drugs, just pointing out the facts and trying to prevent blind belief in scientific myth.
     
  11. livingfortoday macrumors 68030

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    #11
    Yeah, and everyone I know that does/has done hard drugs smokes and drinks as well, but I don't blame cigarettes for their coke use (though they are addictive). Correlation doesn't imply causation.

    Anyways, to the original poster - your friend seems to be in a really dangerous situation right now. Have you thought about talking to her parents about this? And if they're not responsive/don't care, well, you should talk to the police officer you know. For someone that young there are options for counseling and treatment services. Doing nothing seems to be a lot worse of an option for her at this point, and you don't want this to get any worse than it already is.
     
  12. celebrian23 macrumors 65816

    celebrian23

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    #12
    And that is why pot can be a really serious drug. On its own occaisonally isn't going to kill you or anything. But it oftentimes leads to things which are far, far more serious. If she wants something stronger, eventually she will go up a level. I'm worried about your friend- she sounds like she's putting herself in a really bad situation. A 15 yr. old should not under any circumstances be getting drunk and stoned around 21 yr. olds who I can bet my bottom dollar are far more experienced. I think her safety is at jeopardy. If they're touching her, it's not a big step up to sex- which under the shield of intoxication may or may not be consented sex. A few times a week is pretty frequent if you ask me. Her safety is the number one priority. And that may mean you being a real friend- that means she may get really angry at you. It means being around her when she is intoxicated or making sure people you know are trustworthy to be around her so you know she's safe. It's not the pot/alcohol use I find concerning- it's the company, the frequency, and by her own admittance her want of something stronger.
     
  13. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #13
    that isn't experimentation, that is normal :p. I do that at least 4 times a week, except it involves 2 or 3 fioricet.
     
  14. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #14
    Just to give everyone the picture here.

    I am not saying that it is causing other drugs. But personally for me it "seems" that way for people I know.

    And drinking seems to be a causation for smoking cigs for me :p There are odd causations for everyone
     
  15. MovieCutter macrumors 68040

    MovieCutter

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    #15
    This is misleading. There is nothing in marijuana that causes a user to want to step up. It's the user's psychology, physiologial and chemical brain patterns or changes that cause steps into harder drugs. That's not to say users of marijuana don't step up to dangerous drugs, but that pattern is due to other factors OTHER than marijuana.
     
  16. celebrian23 macrumors 65816

    celebrian23

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    #16
    I don't think I'm being misleading. Pot is often the first drug besides alcohol that teens experiment with. If it's not satisfying at its current level, then they will go to a stronger drug. She has said she'd like something stronger. I'm not implying everyone who uses pot goes to stronger drugs, but that if it's not enough, chances are you'll go to something heavier eventually
     
  17. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #17
    However you must admit that certain people's psychology comes out more when high on marijuana do to the euphoria and it causes them to do other things.

    This seems like me and cigarettes. I don't do them normally and wont do them normally but when i am drunk i will also smoke.

    Which is the way it started for a lot of my friends, when they were high on marijuana they decided to experiment with pain killers or cocaine.

    Yes it depends on the user's psychology and such but also marijuana can make the persons hidden wants and desires come out more due to euphoria.
     
  18. Lebowski macrumors 6502

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    #18
    first off, she is 15, and you are 17?

    u are too old for her.


    second, you dont "do pot" just like you dont "do" cigarettes, or "do" beer. you sound like you are 70 not 17.


    third, you are more into her than she is to you, hence the her not hanging out with you....


    fourth, get over it/her/move on.

    stop trying to be everyones mother. worry about your own business.
     
  19. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #19
    17/2 + 7 = 15.5

    so it is perfectly fine. Follow the rule :D
     
  20. Lebowski macrumors 6502

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    #20

    oh, i didnt know about creepy stalker adult preying on naive 15 year olds rule... my bad.

    carry on then.
     
  21. popsandfriends thread starter macrumors member

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    #21
    Friends never leave each other behind, no matter what the circumstances. And no, i dont want into her pants like most guys would
     
  22. eva01 macrumors 601

    eva01

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    #22
    also if this is america he isn't legally an adult, even thou sex would be considered statutory rape.
     
  23. MovieCutter macrumors 68040

    MovieCutter

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    #23
    In this user's case, her physiology is telling her that she needs harder drugs, not the marijuana. She's likely in the early stages of becoming addict with a history of addiction in the family or some other predisposition to addiction. It's not the marijuana that is causing her to step up, it's merely HER first step. The other reason pot is the first step is that, along with alcohol, it is the most abundant and easiest to obtain. I could buy pot in any hallway in high school if I wanted. Heroine, ecstasy, cocaine on the other hand is MUCH harder to come by.

    You're right, it has EVERYTHING to do with the physiology of that person's brain, not marijuana in and of itself. But the fact that people are mixing drugs would be more troubling to me than simply using those drugs explicitly. However, a former friend of mine used to smoke pot before doing ecstasy due to the fact that pot is believed to close off synapses in the brain that are adversly affected by ecstasy, and by doing that she could "protect" her brain from chemical side effects. Seems to make sense, but it's still stupid.

    Speaking of addiction, I need a drink...
     
  24. popsandfriends thread starter macrumors member

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    #24
    Uhm, bit off topic im not the one tryin to rape her here....oh boy...read the first post again lol
     
  25. CorvusCamenarum macrumors 65816

    CorvusCamenarum

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    #25
    Ignore the [potential] romance issue. It's not relevant.

    Get her parents involved.

    If that doesn't work, then go to your cop friend, but explain to him your need for discretion.

    When she grows up she might realizing you were being a real friend and thank you for it. If not, then all you get is the satisfaction that you helped get her out of this mess.
     

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