Need jokes for high school reunion

Discussion in 'Community' started by Doctor Q, May 20, 2004.

  1. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    A man I know is organizer of an upcoming high school reunion: 30 years, class of 1974, a high school in Los Angeles. He called me last night and asked for ideas for jokes to tell as master of ceremonies. The jokes can be clean or edgy, but not dirty or offensive. They can be universal jokes (ones suitable for anyone), age-specific jokes (the attendees will be in their late 40s), jokes about current events (without taking political sides), or jokes about whatever happened in 1974 (events, social trends, movies, music, etc.).

    I know a million URLs of joke sites, but I need jokes specifically for a high school reunion, and wading through these sites has been tedious and not very successful.

    Does anybody have suggestions I can give to him?
  2. stoid macrumors 601


    Feb 17, 2002
    So long, and thanks for all the fish!
    What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?

  3. gwuMACaddict macrumors 68040


    Apr 21, 2003
    washington dc
    what did the man say when he walked in to the local bar?

  4. wdlove macrumors P6


    Oct 20, 2002
    I'm sorry Doctor Q, I'm one of those that hears a lot of good jokes. My problem is the I don't remember them 10 minutes afterwards. :( :eek:
  5. flyfish29 macrumors 68020


    Feb 4, 2003
    New HAMpshire
    Two guys walk into a bar....the third one ducked!
  6. gwuMACaddict macrumors 68040


    Apr 21, 2003
    washington dc
    so there is this mouse. a smart mouse. lives in this cozy little hole in the side of the call. and the mouse knows about the cat that lives in the house. the mouse knows that the cat looooooves to eat mice. so the mouse is always very careful about leaving his hole. the mouse always listens for the cat's 'purr purrr' before he leaves. one day the mouse is hungry and wants to go get food. he listens carfeully... thinks he hears something... nah, just some noise. listens some more... he hears 'woof woof'. *phew* thinks the mouse- its just the familly dog- no dog eats mice. so the mouse leaves the hole to get food- and the cat punces on him and gobbles him up.

    moral of the story- that second language always comes in handy

    not so much a joke, but was told at my commencment last sunday on the ellipse. lemme just say... cant beat commencement on the ellipse in front of the white house, in the shadow of the washington monument- man- that rocked. ok... enough of that... its a cute story- might be applicable, and much less lame than my earlier joke
  7. Neserk macrumors 6502a


    Jan 1, 2004
  8. Savage Henry macrumors 65816

    Savage Henry

    Feb 20, 2004
    in a one horse, two house, three pub town.
    Retrospective anecdotes and moments of sponeneity are always funnier and more entertaining than jokes.

    The best speeches I've heard on such occassions had no jokes whatsoever in them. Just well written tales and stories that remained in context for the event.

    The worst I ever heard, and those who witnessed it have always agreed, was a 10 minute best man speech at a wedding that was entirely constructed of wedding jokes, such as:

    Man to Groom: Have you got any naked pictures of the bride?

    Groom: No I haven't.

    Man: Would you like some?

    [Cue tumbleweeds and uncomfortable shifting in seats as guests rapidly lose the will to live]
  9. 748s macrumors 6502a


    Dec 14, 2001
    Tiger Bay
    i can't remember where i found these,
    some web site somewhere.........

    Tim works at the Giant Food store.
    He usually helps outside,
    but sometimes he comes in and helps bag groceries
    when the lines are long at the cash registers.
    Giant also has a juice bar where customers
    can get freshly-made vegetable and fruit juices.
    Tim asked if he could help out there when the lines get too long,
    but was told he could not, due to company policy:
    Baggers can't be juicers.

    Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
    The stewardess looks at them and says,
    I'm sorry, gentlemen,
    only one carrion allowed per passenger.

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.
    When they lit a fire in the craft, it sank.
    Proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
    which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
    He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet,
    he suffered from bad breath. This made him...........
    A super calloused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.
  10. javabear90 macrumors 6502a


    Dec 7, 2003
    Houston, TX
    2 sausages are in a pan fryin' away. when one stands up and says "Hey, I think I'm done" and then the other one says "What the he11 a talking sausage!?!?"

    I know, I know it's bad but wutever...

    why does santa have such a good job?

    Becuase he knows where all the bad girls are.

    hahahahahahahh :p
  11. Doctor Q thread starter Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    I agree. He says there will be plenty of those too, appropriate to the event. I'm just supposed to help with the icebreakers. I made up a few so far:

    "Some of you came a long way to be here, such as the people who drove for 2 days to get here from Beverly Hills. Los Angeles traffic is sure something, isn't it?" (Beverly Hills is only a few miles from the reunion.)

    "High schoolers today are worried about the scandals they hear about in the news. They think they've got scandals!? Hey, we're from 1974. We had Watergate!"
  12. ToddW macrumors 6502a

    Feb 26, 2004
    why is coors light and having sex in a canoe similar?

    They're both ****ing near water!!!!
  13. JesseJames macrumors 6502a

    Mar 28, 2003
    How'd I get here? How can I leave?
    An occasion like that is ripe for balding jokes. I'm sure there will be some follically-challenged men there that will appreciate the ribbing.
  14. Doctor Q thread starter Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Perfect. I threw this in:

    "We were a class of fashion trendsetters and I can see that we still are. Ever since Michael Jordan made it popular, it's pretty cool for men to have that bald look, and I notice quite a few men here who are keeping up with fashions by having not much hair!"

    Thanks, JesseJames!
  15. thejazzman10 Guest

    what’s the difference between Micheal Jackson an a Grocery bag?
    One is plastic and dangerous to children, and the other one you psut groceies in.

    Why does a blonde have square boots?
    Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

    The man that invented the hokey pokey died at the age of 93. the hardest part for them was putting the body in the coffin....the left leg went in, and then the trouble started.

    Knock Knock. Who’s there? control freak. Okay, now you say control freak who.

    Why is santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  16. Doctor Q thread starter Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Sep 19, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Thanks, but I have the odd feeling that I've heard that one somewhere before. ;)

Share This Page