Never shave your head if...

Discussion in 'Community' started by mrjamin, Mar 9, 2004.

  1. mrjamin macrumors 65816

    mrjamin

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Location:
    Strongbadia
    #1
    ...you plan on growing it back again at a later date. Why? Because you go thru' various stages of looking like a burk. I recently decided it was time i got rid of my shaved head (my fiancee wants a "sensible" haircut for my wedding), and here's what I'm having to endure:

    1) the "just about too long to look neat" phase; 1-2 weeks since last shave

    At this stage, your hair is looking a little scruffy, and there's nothing you can do about it. because your hair was so short, its now growing back in various different directions, its about 1cm long, gets tufty in the morning, then gets flat and weird looking by the end of the day


    2) the "matchstick" phase; 4-6 weeks since last shave

    By this time, your hair has decided which direction its growing in. Its still too short to go get a "tidy it up" haircut (1.5-2cm), so it just sticks out at 90 degrees from your head. You look even more like a matchstick if you have red hair. Its also the stage where the dreaded "neck beard" looks its worst, almost like a mullet, almost like misplaced pubic hair - generally just nasty looking


    3a) the "army issue", "flat-top" or "vanilla ice" stage; 6-10 weeks

    In the army, people have to have the back and sides of their head very short. The top of their head is their own to do with as they please. This is the situation you'll find yourself in 6-8 weeks since you last shaved your head (unless you choose to stick out the matchstick phase further, see 3b). You have to get the back and sides done, but you are very limited as to what you can do with the top. Chances are, you'll come out with a flat top. Not nice. It is, however, the beginning of the end. I myself am currently tortured by this stage

    3b) The "yeti" stage; 6-10 weeks

    Perhaps the most disturbing period of the whole ordeal, and should only be endured if you are completely turned off the idea of having a flat top. Individual cases vary, but you will innevitably look like a yeti. Your hair curls round into your earholes, folds down onto your forhead, curls round from your neck towards your ears, and your neckbeard descends down past your collar. A truly frightening appearance is achieved. That said, it is also the beginning of the end.


    4) Freedom! 10 weeks onwards

    By this time you should be free from the chains of bad haircuts. Your hair should be a blank canvas to any competant barber (such as the european chap on cemetary junction). From here, you choose the future of your hair!
     
  2. Roger1 macrumors 65816

    Roger1

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Location:
    Michigan
    #2
    You know what? After you're married a few years, you won't care what your hair looks like. You'll be too busy worrying about other things, like the sick kid, or the fact the dog barfed in the living room. You will worry about your kids college fund, or how you're going to pay the credit card this month, because the wife had to go buy your kids new shoes-again ($38.00 a pair-for toddler shoes :eek: ) You will also be worrying about your cholesterol, or your ulcer (probably from drinking too much when you were younger).

    And guess what? Something like 40% of all males go bald anyway, through various stages. So by shaving your head and letting it grow back your getting a taste of what life is like when your old.

    Isn't life wonderful :D
     
  3. RandomDeadHead macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2003
    Location:
    fennario
    #3
    Man, you are WAY to concerned about your hair. I have not been in for a formal hair cut in years. When my wife decides that my hair is to long, she just grabs a pair of scissors and hacks some off, and that the end of it for a year or two.
     
  4. Awimoway macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2002
    Location:
    at the edge
    #4
    I took a #2 to my whole head one summer. But I didn't take into account the fact that, because I am blond, it just made me look bald. I didn't like the result and let it grow out. It couldn't grow out fast enough. But I didn't obsess with the ugliness to the point of classifying each phase. My hair doesn't comb in any particular direction no matter how much I want it to, so I have to keep it pretty short to manage anything approaching neatness. Lately, my wife just takes the clippers to my head every few weeks when I ask her. It saves a little $$$ on trips to the barber.
     
  5. markjones05 macrumors 6502a

    markjones05

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2003
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    #5
    now i wanna kill myself.
     
  6. eyelikeart Moderator emeritus

    eyelikeart

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2001
    Location:
    Metairie, LA
    #6
    I just want u to know that I did enjoy reading your accounts of hair regrowth. :)

    I doubt I'd have the same case if I did shave my head, and let it grow back to a useful length. My hair grows pretty damned fast. So fast, that I get it cut every 2 weeks. :eek: ;)
     
  7. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #7
    Dose your finance realize what length you are going through to please her. I would call you a real trooper. Personally I like to have my hair cut short. When I get it cut it is between, the "matchstick" phase and the "army issue" phase. By the time it needs to be cut again its at the "yeti" stage. At taht point it looks messy to me and can't comb properly. I use a razor to trim it from my ears. I guess you could say that I don't care that much about my hair. Just like it easy to care for each day. I'm among the 40% that has my hair. Lucky genes from my mother.
     
  8. Roger1 macrumors 65816

    Roger1

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Location:
    Michigan
    #8
    So's my brother. He's 2 years older than me, and has hair from his eyebrows back. While I've been going bald since my early 20's. I'm at the point where I just have my wife clipper it off, and only occasionally go to the barber.
     
  9. bennetsaysargh macrumors 68020

    bennetsaysargh

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2003
    Location:
    New York
    #9
    i personally would never go bald. ever. i dunno why. oh god i hope i never go bald. wow. that'd be scary.
     
  10. eyelikeart Moderator emeritus

    eyelikeart

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2001
    Location:
    Metairie, LA
    #10
    As long as genetics plays its part correctly, I'm headed for the same future with hair. :D
     
  11. Awimoway macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2002
    Location:
    at the edge
    #11
    The bit about your mother's father is pure hokum. It comes from both sides. Of course, both of my grandfathers were well covered, so I worry not at all. :cool:
     
  12. mrjamin thread starter macrumors 65816

    mrjamin

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Location:
    Strongbadia
    #12
    That was the plan! It wasn't a serious "look at me, my hair is the most important thing in the world! to me".

    I've had a shaved head (shaved as in using unguarded clippers - #0.5) for the last 3 years! I made the decision before I left for university to save ££ on haircuts and shampoo - sad, I know. Try being a student in the UK and you'll appreciate my reasons.

    So, it was not a serious "be warned" type post, just some light entertainment for those of you stressing about the kids shoes, dogs hurling on the carpet, sick children, college funds, credit card bills, rising cholesterol, stomach ulcers and receeding hairlines.

    Over & Out,

    MrJ
     
  13. edesignuk Moderator emeritus

    edesignuk

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Location:
    London, England
    #13
    [​IMG] Reading that just made my morning. I was LMAO!

    You know what you need to add? Pictures of each phase ;) :D
     
  14. iGav macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #14
    I have to have a #1 because I'm thinning on top... but been receeding for years... I can't say I give much of a toss in all honesty... not having to brush or gel in the morning is an unanswerable boom... especially in Winter. :D

    I occasionally miss having a do, but if I did have hair I'd only end up having a Hoxton Fin or other wannabe hipster fashion do... :eek: :p :p

    I do miss my ft long dreads though... :( I was a babe with those... :D

    Oh well.... *scratches head wistfully*
     
  15. trebblekicked macrumors 6502a

    trebblekicked

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Location:
    Chicago, IL, USA
    #15
    i had a mohawk done for a movie last summer (there's a thread on it somewhere around here. far too early in the AM to search) and shaved just after i finished shooting. i have yet to cut it. i'm enjoying the seventies-ish shag/unkept look for now. i guess it's been 7 or 8 months, and i'm wondering how far i can take it.
     
  16. ThomasJefferson macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Location:
    Virginia
    #16
    The things we will obsess about while waiting for a hardware update. :rolleyes:
     

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