Oh god, I never thought I would ask this "here"!

[mymemory]

So, what do you choose, the girl, or the friend? Will he get over it if I go out with her? If I don't will he swoop in and take her and ruin the friendship anyway?

Get the girl.... test your friendship

I mean, you will regret not getting the girl later on, trust me. And for sure she will tell you "why you didn't do anything".

Between my friends is ok, I mean, is the girl who has the last word any way.

 

[AP_piano295]

Ha these are fun to read its like a soap opera

But seriously if your friends not confortable flirting and stuff he has no chance so just ask her out yourself, things between you and your friend might get rocky for a while but when you break up with her things tend to smooth out.

Now you help me with my issue there was this girl I liked so I started hanging out with her friends and stuff more but the issue is I kinda got over the girl I liked before and now I like her friend and I think she likes me. But she still thinks I like her friends so I have the issue if I ask her friend out them me and her wont be happening for obvious reasons (breaks ups tend to ruin more than just your relationship with your x girlfriend). But if I ask her out she might just say no and be pissed at me because I hurt her friend.... yeah complicated I know.

 

[macartistkel]

I was watching a show tonight on tv (Freddie on ABC) and this same problem happened between the two characters (Freddie Prince and Brian Ausitn Greene). Anyway, they handled it pretty well. I kept thinking about this thread the whole time I was watching it!!

 

[applegirl]

[*]Me: That's nice. Too bad though....I don't like your style, I think you should leave....now. (I know, harsh right?)

Wow. That's hot. lol

 

[efoto]

Anyway, they handled it pretty well.

Sooooooo, umm yeah. For those of us who don't watch Freddie Prince Jr. , how did they handle it?

Wow. That's hot. lol

Precisely what I thought....amazed anyone even talked to me for the rest of that night, or the following or the next day

 

[AP_piano295]

Not that big of a deal really, whether Catherine told her or not....point is she knows and that is what matters as far as you are concerned.

That excuse about not wanting to date you because 'if we break up then what? we won't be friends....blah blah" kiss my b***s women. I really hate it when girls say this. I have this with my best female friend right now too. She even admits to being in love with me but is hesitant start a relationship that is more than friends because if we do breakup then what?

My point of view....if the girls are already planning the breakup then it's damned from the beginning. If they have such little faith in your to-be relationship, then they aren't worth pursuing in the first place. Semi-funny part of it is, since she didn't want to pursue a relationship due to friendship issues, we now hardly maintain our friendship because it's so damn awkward knowing we want to date but she is too removed/fearful to start. Stupid girls....I'm off to finish my growler of porter now

Depends on how old you are. In high school I am very much planing on breaking up sometime in the future (less than 6 months) so yes the relationship is kind of damed from the beggining.

 

[feakbeak]

Nice guys finish last
If you turn into an a**hole you'll get more poon than you could ever imagine, believe it. I have trouble being a complete dick to women, but by golly does it work and I don't even understand why.

This seems to be true for some strange reason. I have a theory that in general (always exceptions) women like to find a bad boy and once a significant relationship has been established they then want the bad boy to miraculously turn into the nice guy. When that doesn't work they move on to find another bad boy. There has been some indirect credit given to my theory by some studies that have been done - they at least confirm the duality of women's desires. Women are more attracted to hot, wild guys during ovulation and the rest of the time they are more attracted to stable, supportive men. Studies have also shown that women are more likely to cheat during ovulation. Now, guys are at least more consistent, we're usually just jerks all the time - you know what to expect though.

So you think after that last line I would be black-listed by all women in the club through their global telepathy we all know they have . In direct disagreement with what I thought, I actually got hit on again, twice!, and both women referenced my behavior/words towards the first girl. The first came up and said "so that was harsh....but she was a tool.

Two other general observations I've made about women.

1. Unless they are family or friends, women enjoy watching other women suffer.
2. Regardless of whether they are family or friends, women will laugh at any man hurting himself - even if the injury is severe.

I'm not sure what this means... *cough* sadists *cough* ... I'll let you figure out for yourself.

I'll end this post by stating that this was meant as humor, with a small, over-exaggerated basis of truth. I doubt that will prevent the flames though. Oh, but the research/studies I mentioned are true - no joke.

 

[iBlue]

1. Unless they are family or friends, women enjoy watching other women suffer.
2. Regardless of whether they are family or friends, women will laugh at any man hurting himself - even if the injury is severe.

I'm not sure what this means... *cough* sadists *cough* ... I'll let you figure out for yourself.

well sure... i mean what is funnier than watching someone fall down a flight of stairs? man or woman, that is just FUNNY!

/shrugs
//puts on sadistic cap proudly
///grins
////trips and falls
////thinks karma sucks sometimes

 

[efoto]

This seems to be true for some strange reason. I have a theory that in general (always exceptions) women like to find a bad boy and once a significant relationship has been established they then want the bad boy to miraculously turn into the nice guy. When that doesn't work they move on to find another bad boy. There has been some indirect credit given to my theory by some studies that have been done - they at least confirm the duality of women's desires. Women are more attracted to hot, wild guys during ovulation and the rest of the time they are more attracted to stable, supportive men. Studies have also shown that women are more likely to cheat during ovulation. Now, guys are at least more consistent, we're usually just jerks all the time - you know what to expect though.

Agreed. The funny part is, even nice guys have a bad boy side, you just have to ask them to let it out If a girl wanted to be treated like crap I could easily do it, but I prefer equality and blah blah blah.... Especially the points you made around ovulation....if she is more likely to cheat during that period because she feels her man is too constant she should ask him to spice it up or something, not go cheat. You can play and lose bad boys as often as you like, but most good guys are slightly less understanding of your rampant sex just because they were being nice

Take a look, it's bad boys and good guys. Wouldn't you rather date a guy than a boy ladies?

Two other general observations I've made about women.

1. Unless they are family or friends, women enjoy watching other women suffer.
2. Regardless of whether they are family or friends, women will laugh at any man hurting himself - even if the injury is severe.

I'm not sure what this means... *cough* sadists *cough* ... I'll let you figure out for yourself.

Agreed on all counts, it's quite sad really. They are the most necessary evil I can imagine, but regardless of my realization of their mass-evil, I still love them, from time to time.

 

[applegirl]

Take a look, it's bad boys and good guys. Wouldn't you rather date a guy than a boy ladies?

Yes. I don't know why women prefer men that treat them like crap; maybe it's the feeling like they don't "deserve" a good guy who will treat them well and is decent to them.

As far as the cheating thing, there's really no excuse for it. I have a theory on that as well...

 

[Bote]

Yes. I don't know why women prefer men that treat them like crap; maybe it's the feeling like they don't "deserve" a good guy who will treat them well and is decent to them.

As far as the cheating thing, there's really no excuse for it. I have a theory on that as well...

I feel that it is less of a bad boy that women are looking for and more of a challenge or some guy that they cannot walk all over.

I was talking to this woman the other day who was complaining about her boyfriend. He does everything for her and she treats him like crap and he apologizes to her She does not respect him because he gives into everything she wants. I told her I would have dumped her is a second and that her attitude sucks. now she emails me all the time wanting to go out for a drink!

 

[applegirl]

I feel that it is less of a bad boy that women are looking for and more of a challenge or some guy that they cannot walk all over.

I think that's DEFINITELY a factor...the more of a challenge, the better. But my theory about the "undeserving woman" also applies.

 

[Bote]

I think that's DEFINITELY a factor...the more of a challenge, the better. But my theory about the "undeserving woman" also applies.

i have met those types too. that is sad to see

 

[efoto]

I feel that it is less of a bad boy that women are looking for and more of a challenge or some guy that they cannot walk all over.

I think that's DEFINITELY a factor...the more of a challenge, the better. But my theory about the "undeserving woman" also applies.

I think both of those theories are valid and accurate. For some reason the 'nice' girls feel they are undeserving of a 'nice' guy. Equally as often women don't like a guy who seemingly has no backbone and does everything under the sun for them....that's too easy I guess.

It's kind of a fine line that is left to walk then because most nice guys do do a lot for their lady, yet that doesn't mean they cannot make choices themselves. Most bad boys don't give a like about the girl but have all the backbone in the world yet are still attractive for some reason I personally can make my own choices, would never put up with a girl who tried to control me, all while being a caring partner who likes to do 'nice' things frequently....yet I'm hopelessly single (aside from my own personal issues I guess )

So applegirl, expand on this theory of yours discussing the 'undeserving woman' complex.

 

[feakbeak]

Since, we're in the middle of major thread-jacking and I shifted this thread to dicuss women's odd habits when it comes to men, I thought it would be only fair to share the love with both sides. I am surprised that most men and women seem to agree with my ideas.

I've known several guys, including a few friends of mine who beileve that there are women you flirt with, have relations with and possibly even date a little bit and then, separate from that group, exists a group of women that they'd actually be willing to get into a committed relationship with and/or marry.

I don't understand this philosophy at all. I suppose, if you are only interested in one or a few things out of some meaningless relationship that having that attitude is fine by me as long as you are upfront about it with the other person. However, I knew several guys that would act interested in the entire relationship thing when they never had any intention of things going there. I find that deplorable.

 

[MongoTheGeek]

Since, we're in the middle of major thread-jacking and I shifted this thread to dicuss women's odd habits when it comes to men, I thought it would be only fair to share the love with both sides. I am surprised that most men and women seem to agree with my ideas.

I've known several guys, including a few friends of mine who beileve that there are women you flirt with, have relations with and possibly even date a little bit and then, separate from that group, exists a group of women that they'd actually be willing to get into a committed relationship with and/or marry.

I don't understand this philosophy at all. I suppose, if you are only interested in one or a few things out of some meaningless relationship that having that attitude is fine by me as long as you are upfront about it with the other person. However, I knew several guys that would act interested in the entire relationship thing when they never had any intention of things going there. I find that deplorable.

I think the thing missing from your comprehension is that humans are monogamous critters. Or at least we want our partners to be monogamous.

Women want a man who obeys only them. Hence they chase after bad boys (who are always bad) trying to find one who listens to them rather than the lovable doormat right next to them. They at least an instinctual level believe if they tame the man then they are the only ones who have him.

Likewise with men, they go after the doorknobs for physical pleasure but look for a good girl to marry figuring if they have to earn their position with her then they are the only ones to get it.

 

[Lord Blackadder]

I've known several guys, including a few friends of mine who beileve that there are women you flirt with, have relations with and possibly even date a little bit and then, separate from that group, exists a group of women that they'd actually be willing to get into a committed relationship with and/or marry.

I know both men and women who have the same outlook. One of my female friends from college would regularly string along several guys at once; some were "nice guys" that she would basically use for drinks, rides and whatnot. They were completely non-threatening, and didn't ask for exclusive dating rights or sex. Other guys were of the more agressive type and she had short, wild flings with them, all the while relying on the nice guys to pick up the slack where the a**holes left off when she tired of them. When we first met she tried it on me - but I was too nice to be the bad boy and to much of an a**hole to fall into the nice guy trap. So we became friends.

But it is a flawed method - you never end up with a stable relationship, since the relationship is parasitic (nice guy/girl use by a bad boy/girl), or antagonistic if both people are agressive and just looking for short term "fun".

But it's all too common that people end up together that don't expect anything more than a short, physical relationship. The problem is when one person expects that and the other is looking for something long-term.

 

[Lau]

Some of us like the nice guys! I've always fancied guys (all the way from random crushes to my fiance) who make me laugh, and are nice people.

People who are arseholes to anyone are nobs. Got no time for em at all....

 

[wPod]

1) bros before hos
2) youre in high school, or there abouts, the girl wont last with either of you guys so in the end it doesnt really matter.
3) play wingman that way a few years from now when you two are going for a more serious girl then he will owe you!

So, this is what you should do.

Go rent the movie A Beautiful Mind. (for those of you who understand at this point, congratulations!)

Do some research on John Nash (The guy the movie is based on) and Game Theory. (if you dont understand yet, you have a lot to learn)

Finally invite your guy friend, the girl, and another girl. you can invite over more people as you would like as long as there is an even pairing of guys and girls. Then, watch the movie A Beautiful Mind with all of your friends! (and by this point if you have absolutely no idea what i mean, then at least you will have had some friends over and had a good time!!)

(hint. . . watch the scene at the bar where there are (about) 5 guys and 5 girls, this is what this thread reminds me of! sorry if i confused anyone but for those of you who got it! good job!)

 

[feakbeak]

I think the thing missing from your comprehension is that

Huh? What?

humans are monogamous critters.

Disagree.

Or at least we want our partners to be monogamous.

Agree.

Women want a man who obeys only them. Hence they chase after bad boys (who are always bad) trying to find one who listens to them rather than the lovable doormat right next to them. They at least an instinctual level believe if they tame the man then they are the only ones who have him.

Likewise with men, they go after the doorknobs for physical pleasure but look for a good girl to marry figuring if they have to earn their position with her then they are the only ones to get it.

I think you are right about how men and women may think, consciously or subconsiously, about relationships. I just find it intriguing the double standards that both men and women use that often times they wish to find that monogamous partner that does not behave like they do. For example, a guy who want to mess around with a bunch of women and then settle down with a girl who hasn't messed around much. I'm more of an interested spectator, curious about people's views than someone who is confused and seeking advice or clarity - not that I believe I have relationships figured out. I don't.

 

[Sathos]

Some of us like the nice guys! I've always fancied guys (all the way from random crushes to my fiance) who make me laugh, and are nice people.

People who are arseholes to anyone are nobs. Got no time for em at all....

I agree! A few times during my high school life (nearly finished high school now), I've been interested in certain guys who seem to have interesting personalities and generally seem kind. Then, quite often, I see them teasing another student and I completely lose interest, unless after that they go back to being fairly nice, which would indicate they were just in a bad mood at the time. Not everyone goes for the bad boys; a guy who doesn't go around being cruel/rude and is capable of being soft is perfect

 

[jiv3turkey748]

go for the chick your friend will get over it

 

[vniow]

Take a look, it's bad boys and good guys. Wouldn't you rather date a guy than a boy ladies?

Not unless boy is spelled "boi".

 

[efoto]

When we first met she tried it on me - but I was too nice to be the bad boy and to much of an a**hole to fall into the nice guy trap. So we became friends.

Best line ever, great description of that. I have been looking for those words for ages! Thanks.

I think you are right about how men and women may think, consciously or subconsiously, about relationships. I just find it intriguing the double standards that both men and women use that often times they wish to find that monogamous partner that does not behave like they do. For example, a guy who want to mess around with a bunch of women and then settle down with a girl who hasn't messed around much. I'm more of an interested spectator, curious about people's views than someone who is confused and seeking advice or clarity - not that I believe I have relationships figured out. I don't.

I used to believe that I could sleep around and get 'good' at 'sleeping', and then one day meet miss charming and marry her and impress her with my mastery of the lovin' language. In my older years I have come to realize that is complete and utter retardation at its finest . I honestly used to get turned off by girls who had had sex even though I was out doing it....not fair at all but completely in line with your double-standard philosophy. There is something strange about it however, because even now I find myself more drawn to a virgin than a sexaholic. I realize that is completely off-base as I myself am not a virgin so how can I expect that to be a trait of her, but it's still a subconscious thought for some reason.

I agree!....

Some of us like the nice guys! I've always fancied guys (all the way from random crushes to my fiance) who make me laugh, and are nice people.

People who are arseholes to anyone are nobs. Got no time for em at all....

I think part of the problem is that the ladies who are smart enough, in my opinion, to realize the finer points of nice guys are either too shy/quiet or intentionally reserved for some reason, which makes it even harder for those nice guys to notice them. If we go to a bar I notice the 'bad girls' first because they are scantily clad, loud, and downright annoying. I like to view them for afar, but I wouldn't want to go home with one. The 'nice' girls are often still out dancing but are more reserved and 'nice' . It's sort of difficult for me to explain what I'm really trying to say....

It's not that nice people can't be loud/obnoxious/scantily clad D) but it seems more often that is the role of the bad boy/girl.

 

[jeremy.king]

Ditch the bro...

Hang with the ladies. Seems they both may like you...Could be a lot of fun!