Parenting...

Discussion in 'Politics, Religion, Social Issues' started by iGary, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. iGary Guest

    iGary

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    #1
    Some of you may know that I am currently in Georgia where my dad lived, and four of my neices and two of my nephews are here.

    Last night, while eating dinner, my two nephews (13 and 10) sat down in front of the television and put on "Viva la Bam" on MTV, and continued to watch people sitting on toilets, profanity and sexually charged programming. I'm not against this type of TV, but I question my sister's allowing them to watch this. She even bought them the DVD of the season to watch on the trip home.

    That said, these kids have the best of all worlds - great parents, a non-working mother and a larger family that is uber involved in their development.

    It's like on here, there are lots of 13 and 14 year olds discussing very mature subjects and apparaently their folks are totally uninvolved with monitoring their online activity. It kind of bugs me. I rememebr talking to one member who said they just got done watching an R movie with their brother...and they were 13 at the time.

    What is up with parents letting their kids be exposed to this crap? Laziness? Times changed?
     
  2. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #3
    Yeah, but what is the purpose of a 13-year-old watching some stoned skater take a dump? I personally wouldn't want my kids thinking that type of exhibitionism is acceptable.
     
  3. michaeldmartin macrumors regular

    michaeldmartin

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    #4
    You'd have to ask them why they watch it :)
     
  4. mjstew33 macrumors 601

    mjstew33

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    Illinois
    #5
    Honestly?

    I don't know why myu parents allow me and my brother to watch that stuff.

    I think they allow it because we are mature enough to know right and wrong.

    And... times have changed.

    Education's changed. We're learning more and more than they were back then... And how i know this is my mother, father, stepfather, and stepmother tell me that they we're never asked to do those things until late highschool. And I just finished 8th grade...
     
  5. Tanglewood macrumors 6502a

    Tanglewood

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    San Diego, CA
    #6
    I was looking through the CD/DVD section at Target about a week or so ago and I happened to catch the conversation with a mom and her son in picking out a DVD for him. He was probably 9 or something close to that. His first choice was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire though his mom wouldn't get it for him because it was PG-13. I telepathically gave the mom kudos though when I tried the same thing to recommend Goonies it don't think it worked since they ended up with something else.

    So I guess it all goes back to parenting because this vinette is definiately the exception from what I normally see (I play Halo 2 online and it seems I get cussed out trashed talked to more from people that sound like they're 12, kinda makes you wonder if their parents know they play)
     
  6. atszyman macrumors 68020

    atszyman

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    #7
    I see a few reasons for this kind of "parenting" going on:

    1) There is an extremely "me-centric" generation that is having children, and not wanting to give up anything they had, or were doing before. So when they want to go watch an R rated movie they bring the kids along or let them watch at home with them. Of course no one seems to want to force people to make sacrifices for their children. I had pointed out in another thread where a theatre chain has a policy of no children under 6 are let into an R rated movie after 6:00 p.m.

    2) Laziness/Apathy/Avoidance of confrontation, sometimes it's just easier to sit them in front of the TV and let them watch what they want rather than have the shouting match or have to interact with the kids. I sometimes fall prey to this one, but we usually keep the TV on one of the Disney channels so we're pretty confident that the content should not be too bad. It gets harder once the kids figure out how to use the remote and their friends watch shows the parents won't let them.

    3) Computer/Technology generation gap. There are a large number of people having their kids later in life and some of these kids are now reaching the age where they are using the internet quite a bit, and the parents just don't really understand the computer or internet enough to be concerned or even know what to look for.

    Those are my observations so far. I've already mentioned my ability and willingness to go totalitarian on my kids with the internet if necessary and I'll probably have to lock up a lot of movies in a few years. Of course this could all change since I'm only dealing with a 21-month old for the time being so check back in 9-11 years.
     
  7. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

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    Jul 4, 2004
    #8
    Personally, I'm more shocked that they're allowed to have the TV on when dinner is served. In our house, dinner was a family time with conversation rather than everyone zoning out glued to the tube.

    But what do I know? I'm not a parent.
     
  8. nbs2 macrumors 68030

    nbs2

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    #9
    Gary. This is why we are Republicans. ;) (also, I didn't know you are GA - even though it's a ways away, are you in Chris's flight path?)

    Honestly though, I am hesitant to say anything since it isn't my family, but looking inside my own extended, I see how parental non-involvement or at least a decision to give the kid the 30ft leash leads to kids doing stupid things. Beyond my family, I wonder how much more effectively kids would be parented if parents had to pay a fine each time their kids broke the law...

    For interesting reading, check out this article (it's from the Post, so some may need to register) on parenting that happened to appear just this weekend.
     
  9. Queso macrumors G4

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    #10
    In our house, dinner was server on our laps in the living room, unless one of us decided to eat in the kitchen/dining room instead. Conversation was not allowed, because it always seemed to interrupt "mother's programme". The conversation used to go something like this:-

    "How would you like it if I talked through your programme?"
    "Mum, it's always your programme. You'll watch anything."
    "Don't you backchat your mother unless you want a good hiding."
    "All of you, shut up. I'm trying to watch this."

    This was normally followed by me and whatever brother I was trying to talk to (or my two brothers) leaving the room and eating in the kitchen.

    So I don't think it's a generation thing. TV is addictive to a lot of people, my mother included.
     
  10. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #11
    Well in all fairness, the kids get dinner first, and then the adults eat.

    There was no TV in our house during dinner either, FWIW, and we had a meal together every evening.
     
  11. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #12
    I don't mind putting the kids in front of Nickolodeon/Disney/Whatever so much. And mind you, I don't have kids, but I am around them a lot (I have 18 neices and nephews).

    This was really the first time that I had seen this among my sisters, but it could happen all the time, honestly.

    Very few of these kids are allowed untethered access to the Internet, and if they are, they are 15 or older. Not saying the age makes up for it, but I would never let my 13 year old on the Internet without some supervision and/or checking where they visit etc.

    I don't know, I just don't think 13 year olds need to see half naked idiots running around...
     
  12. Tanglewood macrumors 6502a

    Tanglewood

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    #13
    When I was growing up it was the same thing, though when I was in high school we would have reruns of Sienfeld, history channel, TLC, or the discovery channel on (you could see the TV in the family room from the dining room table). If for whatever reason the television got too distracting from the dinner conversation it was switched off.
     
  13. Danksi macrumors 68000

    Danksi

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    Nelson, BC. Canada
    #14
    I don't think ANYONE needs to see that... :)

    Something about wasting one's life away, watching others do the same thing..
     
  14. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #15
    Agreed. I know there is the traiin wreck effect, but still...
     
  15. yellow Moderator emeritus

    yellow

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    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #16

    Last night on my drive home, there was a blurb on NPR about an upcoming report on kids and the internet and how some overwhelming number of 12 years olds had been exposed to porn on the internet. Something like 78%. Basically forcing "tweens" to 'grow up' faster than yesteryear. Never caught the full blown story, but I can believe it.

    Now.. I wouldn't let my kids watch Viva La Bam because it would take me all of 5 minutes to determine that the show was worthless (as all MTV programming is).
     
  16. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #17
    *laughing*

    I am listening to that on NPR right now.

    They were also talking about how many kids have given out pictures/movies of themselves masturbating, thinking that "hey, it's safe sex, right?" Something like 50% of surveyed 13 year olds had given images of themselves out.

    Yikes.

    I can't say that in this house - I'd get lynched. :eek: ;)
     
  17. atszyman macrumors 68020

    atszyman

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    #18
    I was just outlining a lot of what I see happening with parents these days. Every parent I know, myself included falls into these traps at sometime or another simply because sometimes you just want the kid to be quiet and entertained for a few minutes. We have had some shows on TV that were inappropriate for our daughter in the past, but we've gotten much better about it now that she seems to actually watch TV. We recently put the "no TV during dinner" rule into effect (we've been lax the last couple days but that's because the kid's been sick and not eating well, so having the TV on will keep her at the table and content longer so she's liable to actually eat a bit).

    My wife and I are at the cusp of the technology gap. If you go a few years older than us, especially people who don't deal with a lot of technology for their jobs, you see many people who don't know very much about computers, the net, or video games which is where I see a lot of the GTA, MySpace controversies coming from. Kids want GTA, or a MySpace account and the parents just don't really understand what's going on with these games/sites.

    Of course with as young as our daughter is we're still in the easy stages. Her computer interest consists of watching "you" (pictures of her on our screensavers) or watching daddy play some harmless video games. She doesn't know how to use the remote controls yet so she watches what we put on, and is generally interested in Bear in the Big Blue House and the Wiggles. We avoid Go Baby and the Doodlebops like the plague however.

    Come back and ask in 10 years how my standards are holding up.
     
  18. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

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    #19
    No wonder you've become such a geek. :D
     
  19. adroit macrumors 6502

    adroit

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  20. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

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    #21
    Well, no wonder you smoke pole! ;)
     
  21. XNine macrumors 68040

    XNine

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    #22
    I don't think that being a sheltering parent is a good idea, and I would never shelter my children. With that said, there's a time and place for everything.

    I saw Bad Boys II in the theater when it came out. To my disbelief, this couple brought their three children, the eldest was no more than 5 to the theater. I was thinking "WHAT IN THE **** ARE YOU DOING?!" Not only does it ruin my theater experience, that's just not a film kids of those age need to see.

    I believe that children have a right to know as much about this world as they can, but it must be given to them a little bit at a time so that it doesn't end up that the kid is watching two girls going at it on the TV at 8.

    Gary, I believe a lot of it can be attributed to these things:
    the "no time" excuse
    The television being a babysitter
    Parents are wacked out
    Parents want their children to have more then they had when they were children.
     
  22. aristobrat macrumors G4

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    Oct 14, 2005
    #23
    Growing up in the late 70's and early 80's in a middle-income community here in Virginia Beach, when we watched TV, we got five channels:

    ABC
    CBS
    NBC
    and two local UHF ones that did mostly reruns of older shows (and The 700 Club, since Mr. Pat is a local here .. ugh!) :)

    From a kids perspective, there wasn't anything on around dinner time worth watching, so we'd eat as fast as we could and then go back outside and play until the street lights came on (or someone's parents hollered, whichever happened first).

    Now we have 180+ digital quality channels on 24/7, amazing gaming systems, and the Internet. I'm amazed when kids go outside anymore, period. :eek: :D
     
  23. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #24
    Indeed. ;) :D I was just talking with my sisters asking them how I am destroying their familes while we were listening to NPR.

    That's pretty much why we don't go to movies pre-10 p.m. anymore. The last straw was when we went to see American Pie 2, and there were 6 year old sin the theater. WTF? :confused:
     
  24. iGary thread starter Guest

    iGary

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    #25
    Yeah, that was us, too. We got done dinner and it was outside to play.

    Now kids just plop down in front of the TV or Internet.

    Sad, really.
     

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