Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

Discussion in 'Community' started by iGav, Jan 16, 2004.

  1. macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #1
    1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

    2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

    3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

    4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

    5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

    6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

    7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

    8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

    9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

    10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

    11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

    12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

    13) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

    14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

    15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

    16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

    17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

    18) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

    19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

    20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

    21) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

    22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

    23) You never ever run out of salt.

    24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

    25) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

    26) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

    27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

    28) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

    29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

    30) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

    31) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

    32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

    33) Bricks are horrible to carry.

    34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
     
  2. Moderator emeritus

    eyelikeart

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2001
    Location:
    Metairie, LA
    #2
    Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    :D hahaha!!

    isn't this true!


    boobless...hehe... :p
     
  3. macrumors 6502a

    etoiles

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2002
    Location:
    Where the air is crisp
    #3
    ha ha, good ones ! A few very 'British centric' items (I never understood the triangular sandwich thing, use REAL bread for heavens sake...:D ) but I definitely recognized myself/my own experience in a lot of them.
     
  4. thread starter macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
  5. Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #5
    Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    Who's Peter Kay?

    What's a crisp? Potato chip?

    and as an Ultimate Frisbee player of over 10 years, I have to disagree with 21. Maybe for someone who doesn't play the sport and only plays catch in a park ;)

    D
     
  6. thread starter macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #6
    Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    Peter Kay is a comic genius

    http://www.peterkay.co.uk/

    he does 'Phoenix Nights' and recently the John Smiths Bitter 'No Nonsense Man' adverts...

    Crisps are Potato chips ;)

    You ever race the flush though?? :p
     
  7. Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #7
    Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    Of course - especially after eating asparagus - makes pee a little stinky, you know?

    D
     
  8. thread starter macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #8
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    Ewww D... :eek: :eek: :eek:

    I've never had Asparagus, and I'm unlikely to now.... :eek: :p :p
     
  9. Moderator emeritus

    edesignuk

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Location:
    London, England
  10. Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #10
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    Actually, its damn good, but imagine going to a urinal, with one right next to it. You just had some asparagus and someone walks up next to you .... there's no escaping the smell unless you flush :D

    Sometimes, certain coffee can make pee smell a little different as well. And its not a bad smell, just something you don't really want to discuss to someone you're standing next to, you know? :p

    D
     
  11. thread starter macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #11
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    I don't drink coffee either... makes me throw up... everywhere :(
     
  12. macrumors 6502a

    sonofslim

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2003
  13. Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #13
    did a quick google search and got this

    35) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    D
     
  14. macrumors 65816

    tpjunkie

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2002
    Location:
    NYC
    #14
    boobless...so true...actually, like all of them are so true
     
  15. macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2002
    #15
    23) You never ever run out of salt.

    IMPOSSIBLE, BUT TRUE!!!!!!

    27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

    My head is spinning!!! I can't remember where I got them... WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!:eek: :eek:
     
  16. macrumors 6502a

    etoiles

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2002
    Location:
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    #16
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    as long as you are not starting a 'pee' thread... ok, go for it :D
     
  17. Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #17
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    no i'm not and I really hope no one else does.....its bad enough we had the poop thread....:rolleyes:
     
  18. macrumors 65816

    krimson

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2003
    Location:
    Democratic People's Republic of Kalifornia
    #18
    ya know, head into any 7-11, and you'll see triangular sandwichs.. they are real bread, just cut differently.. :D
     
  19. macrumors 68040

    gwuMACaddict

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  20. macrumors 6502a

    etoiles

    Joined:
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    #20
    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Peter Kay's 35 universal truths...

    thank you ;)
     
  21. TEG
    macrumors 604

    TEG

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2002
    Location:
    Langley, Washington
    #21
    Awesome.

    35a) Knowledge is knowing a Banana is an herb, but not grinding it up and adding it to food like a spice.

    TEG
     
  22. macrumors 68000

    3rdpath

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2002
    Location:
    2nd star on the right and straight till morning
    #22
    too funny

    i actually had to type those numbers into a calc. to see what it said...

    and ironically, i'm cooking dinner and just realized i AM out of salt.
     

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