Punctuation Police Wanted

Discussion in 'Site and Forum Feedback' started by MACDRIVE, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. MACDRIVE macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #1
    I'm in an endless pursuit of punctuation perfection. So if someone would like to critique my posts, please do so. I think it says in the forum rules somewhere that were not suppose to comment on each other's punctuation or spelling errors, but I'm letting you all know right now: please tell me, I want to know. As psychotic as it may sound to you, I actually enjoy making a game out of punctuation. :)
     
  2. bearbo macrumors 68000

    bearbo

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2006
    #2
    oh hey! me too! by all mean correct me. :) (although i will probably make many more mistakes than you do.)
     
  3. MrSmith macrumors 68040

    MrSmith

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2003
  4. MACDRIVE thread starter macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #4
    Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out when to use a full colon and when to use a semicolon. I think semicolons are really cool; yeah... I know I'm weird. :eek:
     
  5. kalisphoenix macrumors 65816

    kalisphoenix

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    #5
    "we're" "supposed" ;)

    And that's an idiotic rule. In my opinion, people who can't write well enough to convey whatever the hell they're talking about deserve whatever ridicule they get. If English isn't your first language, fine. I respect anyone who can express themselves in a second language. Conversely, I'm immensely irritated by anyone who can't express themselves in even one language.... not to mention the rather charming correlation of this trait with the "total and complete dumbass" trait that results in a general erosion of all that is good and holy.

    I'm not talking about sincere errors or typos. I mean people who willingly and consistently use wretched grammar, punctuation, and/or spelling. I'm not perfect... but I will cheerfully attempt to eviscerate (politely and subtly, since I got banned a week or two ago for mentioning how silly another member's mother looked before I shaved her back) any idiot I come across ;)

    Please. Speak with dignity.
     
  6. Aniej macrumors 68000

    Aniej

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2006
    #6
    1. I agree with your first post and will correct you if I see something in your post, please do the same for me except for my occasional failure to use capitals, which is limited to postings on web forums. I agree that it is fun as well... word of the day?

    2. so i was excited and then saw your last post. I am busy working on a memo, so maybe I missed it, but was your question over the difference between a semicolon and a colon a joke?
     
  7. MrSmith macrumors 68040

    MrSmith

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2003
    #7
    And by effectively repeating the crime a longer ban will now be implemented.
     
  8. MACDRIVE thread starter macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #8
    That's right! I should have known that. We are = We're.

    And suppose to, is supposed to be: supposed to. :p
     
  9. katie ta achoo macrumors G3

    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    #9
    linguo.jpg


    In all seriousness, I think the rule should be stuck by. I can see threads veering off topic worse than they do now.

    A post asking "How doo I fix my computer. she broke" could devolve into a thread about grammar.

    If you really want help, pick up a copy of Strunk and White. :)
     
  10. kalisphoenix macrumors 65816

    kalisphoenix

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    #10
    Hard and fast rule on semicolons:

    He is a cad, a bounder, and a boor.

    He is a cad; he is a bounder and a boor.

    He is: a cad, and a shameless cad at that; a bounder, and a bounding bounder at that; and a boor, and a boorish boor at that.

    So you can use it either as a more-emphatic comma or a less-emphatic period. Kurt Vonnegut says that they are pretentious and shouldn't be used. Kurt can go @#$% himself. I think they're fantastic at filling the space between commas and periods.

    I'm a writer (as in, novelist), so I generally use punctuation and grammar based on how it makes me feel -- even if it's a comma splice or some other mutation that wouldn't be acceptable in a formal essay. And as you might have noticed, I'm deeply enamoured of the "--", the ellipsis, and colons and semicolons. I also use "more" when my mother (an English teacher) says I should use "most" -- for instance, "She was among the more buxom of the girls on my block." Since I'm comparing at least three girls, my mom says I should use "most," but I view it as comparing two groups of girls -- the more buxom and the less buxom. So this girl's boobs are in the top half, roughly, but not in the top 10%.

    So anyway, I'm not a prescriptivist. I just want people to make friggin' sense. If I can understand what you're saying well enough to correct you, then I won't say anything. If I can't even understand you that well, that's when I get angry.
     
  11. MACDRIVE thread starter macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #11
    No, I was being serious about the colon and semi colons. :)

    Someone please go and correct my corrections. :)
     
  12. Aniej macrumors 68000

    Aniej

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2006
    #12
    simply the best.
     
  13. xsedrinam macrumors 601

    xsedrinam

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
    #13
    Full colons require emptying before a colonoscopy. Semicolons require the aid of Sigmund and neither take as long, nor go as far.
     
  14. bearbo macrumors 68000

    bearbo

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2006
    #14
    here are my corrections :O
     
  15. MACDRIVE thread starter macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #15
    I think that's the way it's supposed to be; I'm not sure though.
     
  16. kalisphoenix macrumors 65816

    kalisphoenix

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    #16
    "How do I fix my computer, she's broke?"

    It's actually a comma splice. The two statements should be in separate sentences... or they could be separated by a semicolon :)

    "How do I fix my computer? She's broke."

    And don't put a colon before that. Bad MACDRIVE. Bad.
     
  17. MrSmith macrumors 68040

    MrSmith

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2003
    #17
    She's broken. Broke is an adjective used informally to refer to a lack of cash.
     
  18. kalisphoenix macrumors 65816

    kalisphoenix

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    #18
    Hahaha... holy **** :p

    Another one I've done like that a couple times is "I'm finished" when I meant "I'm done."

    I blame it on that quote being retarded to begin with. We know the damn computer's broken if it needs to be fixed.
     
  19. MACDRIVE thread starter macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #19
    Thank You. Keep them comming. :)
     
  20. bearbo macrumors 68000

    bearbo

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2006
    #20
    Thank you.
    coming.

    edit: :p MrSmith was first
     
  21. MrSmith macrumors 68040

    MrSmith

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2003
    #21
    ;)
    (Edit: Me first)
     
  22. MACDRIVE thread starter macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #22
    ^
    Really? I've seen it both ways and never could figure out which way is which, but now I know. Thanks. :)
     
  23. bearbo macrumors 68000

    bearbo

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2006
    #23
    when in a sentence, it is "Thank you."

    on a poster or something, it's Thank You... i think
     
  24. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #24
    Then how do you explain the phrase "Jimmy threw his baseball into the window and it broke."
     
  25. Stampyhead macrumors 68020

    Stampyhead

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2004
    Location:
    London, UK
    #25
    Thanks, that was fun.
     

Share This Page