Question for single guys

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Abstract, Jan 30, 2007.

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Questions for guys

  1. Are you single?

    73 vote(s)
    80.2%
  2. Do you think you're a nice guy?

    78 vote(s)
    85.7%
  1. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
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    #1
    Why do single guys always think, "Why am I single? I'm a nice guy." Why do all single guys think they're nice and sweet, and that girls don't appreciate how nice and sweet they are, while the "bad boys" always seem to get the girl. Maybe these guys aren't nice or sweet. :eek:

    I'm just asking because I know a guy who's single, and he's not exactly the nicest or sweetest guy. He's a "nice" person and cool to hang out with, but I mean, I don't think he exemplifies a "nice" or "sweet" person. He's the type of guy who tries to pick up girls every time he goes to a club or bar. He's not the stay-at-home type, which is what I envision these ultra "nice guys" to be like. Anyway, we were all talking about dating and stuff, and he asked the girls at the table "Is there anything wrong with me? I'm nice. I'm sweet."

    Couldn't believe he thought he was more sweet or nice than other guys. I don't even think he was the nicest and/or sweetest guy at the table. :p



    (He's a good friend and fun to hang around with, so I'm not trying to insult him or anything by saying what I said)
     
  2. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #2
    Nice and sweet. What is he? Candarel? :D

    I voted that I'm nice BTW, and if anyone disagrees I'll kill their pets.
     
  3. kretzy macrumors 604

    kretzy

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2004
    Location:
    Canberra, Australia
  4. Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

    Jaffa Cake

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    The City of Culture, Englandshire
    #4
    I'm not single so I only voted for being nice, which I am. In fact, I'm quite adorable. :)
     
  5. SamIchi macrumors 68030

    SamIchi

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    #5
    Same :D

    Your friend is just full of himself and ejoys pity.
     
  6. bozigle macrumors regular

    #6
    There are taste for every one...
    I guess some people fancy some depressing/sadic/nasty/ugly/smelly... whatever and are not into nice guy who can appears weak/asocial/whatever...

    So being a nice guy in the wrong environment can just lead to being single... but it can also be a choice.

    let's take a real life example:
    A monk of St Mary Therese des Batignolles (France) despite being a nice guy and staying home, not drinking and not flirting with every girl passing by is likely to end up single... and he is a nice guy... life is not fair... (or did i miss something?)

    bozigle
     
  7. Mitthrawnuruodo Moderator emeritus

    Mitthrawnuruodo

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Location:
    Bergen, Norway
    #7
    Not single, but I can be nice... when I want to... ;)
     
  8. kalisphoenix macrumors 65816

    kalisphoenix

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    #8
    I couldn't fill out the poll, since I'm neither nice nor single, but I thought that it might be "nice" or "sweet" to offer my opinion (haha, I'm doing it because I'm a #$%^).

    I used to be a nice, sweet guy. I know this because a lot of nice, sweet girls told me that in passing. I was nice and sweet because I never hit on them, never made crude jokes, never put my desires above their dignity, and so forth and so on. I had girls tell me I was good-looking, and I even noticed that some girls would stare at me or get tongue-tied when I was around.

    This is not to be egotistical or anything, because I never got anything done. I was crippled by low self-esteem and insecurity and shyness for a long time. I didn't get many dates because I was too shy even to seem interested. I kept my eyes, hands, and mouth to myself. Unless I was drunk, in which case I'd come out of my shell and be "funny."

    There was a small event that made me realize what it was. One night, a friend of mine who was a piano virtuoso and a big fan of motivational speakers and I ended up spending the night with four girls in their dorm room (one of those arrangements with four bedrooms and a common room). We talked until the sun came up, so I got a good chance to observe how these girls worked. The thing was that my friend was not particularly good-looking, and I could tell these four girls were at least interested in me at the beginning of the night. By the time the night was over, though, they were all over him -- because he was confident, he expressed himself clearly, and he was able to convey his intelligence and sense of humor almost continually. I was none of these things, and I received a polite goodbye and Donald Duck hugs when we took off :( I simply hadn't made much of an impact on them.

    A sense of romance and respect is very important, but your personality is meaningless if you cage yourself up everytime you're around another person. If you can't look a girl in the eye and smile at her calmly and confidently, you're never going to make much of an impact. And I don't mean getting so drunk that you lose all inhibition -- that might work, but only on drunk girls. If a girl wants to see a good-looking guy, all she needs to do is switch on t3h boob tube. What women generally want, biologically and psychologically, is someone who is gentle with them, who can protect them, who is fun to be around, and who is pleasantly affectionate. If you can't convey these qualities of yourself in several hours, you've magically become a nobody, no matter how nice and sweet you are.
     
  9. takao macrumors 68040

    takao

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2003
    Location:
    Dornbirn (Austria)
    #9
    i voted single.. don't really know if i should consider myself nice ... i'm very likely too boring/too difficult to handle

    that aside i could at least point to 10 other guys where i'm always wondering why exactly they are unlucky with getting to meet girls

    on the other side i had one friend saying "why do i never get to know any nice girls" where we burst out into laughter since he had met dozens in the last years and he is kinda magnetic to girls for whatever reason

    also i know 24 year olds (both sides) who haven't been single for more than 2 weeks since 10 years despite the fact that i don't see anything special with them
     
  10. hollerz macrumors 6502a

    hollerz

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Location:
    Durham, UK
    #10
    Ticked both boxes. Not sure if I'm single because I'm nice, probably more too boring lol. I hate clubbing, going to the pub etc. all the normal things. I'm also extremely shy, finding it hard to talk to people other than the usual people I hang out with. So yeah, I blame myself for being single! :p
     
  11. FleurDuMal macrumors 68000

    FleurDuMal

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Location:
    London Town
    #11
    I'm not single. Nor am I nice and sweet. But (I don't think) I'm a terrible b*stard either :p .

    How boring life would be if everyone was just 'nice and sweet' to you.
     
  12. Abstract thread starter macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
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    #12

    That's quite true.

    Maybe nice guys don't always stay at home and drink tea, and go drinking with their friends and have a great time.

    Anyway, I find it to be a nice coincidence that single guys are usually "nice" guys as well.

    Maybe single people all think they deserve better.
     
  13. shecky Guest

    shecky

    Joined:
    May 24, 2003
    Location:
    Obviously you're not a golfer.
    #13
    i am a "nice guy" who had all the same internal questions that the original post talks about. i was single for the vast majority of my post-pubescent life and the way i finally met my current girlfriend (who is probably "the one" by the way) was simple:

    1. i stopped looking
    2. i was finally in a situation where i was self-confident

    thats the formula. needy, self-depricating nice guys are going to be dating their hands forever.
     
  14. whooleytoo macrumors 603

    whooleytoo

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2002
    Location:
    Cork, Ireland.
    #14
    Perhaps part of the reason people (not just guys) are nice is because they're slightly less secure, and want to be liked? Whereas more confident/cocky people might be less concerned with being liked, but more confident & socially adept and so less likely to be single.

    I don't think it (in general) has anything to do with deserving better.
     
  15. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030

    Macky-Mac

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    #15
    are you suggesting that once a guy is no longer single, the relationship turns him into dirty rotten pond scum?
     
  16. hollerz macrumors 6502a

    hollerz

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Location:
    Durham, UK
    #16
    that sounds like good advice, if your constantly thinking about why your single, your gonna be depressed and not come off well to others, if you stop looking, you don't care so much, so are more yourself!
     
  17. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Location:
    Same country as Santa Claus
    #17
    I'm single and a super duper nice guy, but I just got myself a date. :cool:
     
  18. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    UK
    #18
    I'm single and I'm a nice guy (or so I'm told, not to blow my own trumpet ( :eek: ), but I'm not actively looking for a partner. I figure I'll bump into her when I'm not looking (not literally, I hope.)

    Not that that discourages my friends' wives/girlfriends from trying to set me up with that "nice girl" they work with. It's getting so that I no longer look forward to weddings/barbeques/partys, etc. I can't stand the pressure! ;) :D
     
  19. takao macrumors 68040

    takao

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2003
    Location:
    Dornbirn (Austria)
    #19
    and if that doesn't help, you are screwed ;)
     
  20. xUKHCx Administrator emeritus

    xUKHCx

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2006
    Location:
    The Kop
    #20
    Same here, I hand drew and wrote a reasonably long book ( 50 pages) for my girlfriend.
     
  21. thejadedmonkey macrumors 604

    thejadedmonkey

    Joined:
    May 28, 2005
    Location:
    Pa
    #21
    Quoted because he's 100% correct.


    Just because you're nice doesn't mean you're what a girl wants.

    Because "nice" guys are always without a date, and they think that if they're nicer they'll get someone. Niceness has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING.

    For the record, I voted that I'm a nice guy. And I'm a nice person, but that doesn't mean I can't be a complete dick =D
     
  22. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2004
    Location:
    Grand Rapids, MI, USA
    #22
    At the moment, I have to admit that I am sure neither of whether I am single nor of whether I am nice. :eek:
     
  23. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

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    Apr 24, 2003
    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #23
    All girls want a guy who can go on and on about computers endlessly, right? :D
     
  24. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    UK
    #24

    Or not, as the case would be. ;)
     
  25. twoodcc macrumors P6

    twoodcc

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