Roaming Eyes... disrespectful?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by wimic, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. wimic macrumors regular

    wimic

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    Aug 24, 2006
    Location:
    calgary, alberta
    #1
    Okay... so perhaps this is not as big of a deal as I'm making it out to be, but a second (or third) opinion is always good.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and things are good. He does, however, have a habit of checking out other girls. He tries to make it discreet but I'm so conscious of it that I'm always on the look out for it happening.

    I know he's human and that he IS going to find other girls attractive, but I can't help but feel really hurt by it sometimes.

    Any comments?
     
  2. MovieCutter macrumors 68040

    MovieCutter

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    May 3, 2005
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    #2
    It's an involuntary response, we can't help it...really. It's hardwired into our brains.
     
  3. rdowns Suspended

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #3
    Agreed. It's hardwired, like shoe shopping is with women. You should worry if he didn't look..
     
  4. calculus Guest

    calculus

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    Dec 12, 2005
    #4
    What exactly is he doing?
     
  5. wimic thread starter macrumors regular

    wimic

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    Aug 24, 2006
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    calgary, alberta
    #5
    just looking... slying actually (because he knows i hate it and he doesn't want me to see)... i've mentioned it to him and he's trying to change it.. but it's still there.

    he'd never say anything or do anything... i trust that he'll never cheat on me or anything... but i just can't help but feel that he's not satisfied with me and he needs to look elsewhere for his eye candy. :(
     
  6. tvguru macrumors 6502

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    Apr 29, 2005
    Location:
    Kenora, ON Canada
    #6
    The rules are always you can look, but you can't touch. Seems like he's following the rules. Stop worrying about the little things and enjoy the relationship. At least your boyfriend isn't 15,000km away like I am to my girlfriend. :(
     
  7. Lyle macrumors 68000

    Lyle

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    Madison, Alabama
    #7
    I've been married for twelve years now, and I still "check out" other women from time to time. :eek:

    Try not to take it personally. If he's like most guys, his doing that is no reflection on how he feels about you. Remember, he's with you and not with them. :D
     
  8. bartelby macrumors Core

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    Jun 16, 2004
  9. vniow macrumors G4

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    #9
    As long as its only his eyes which are roaming you should be fine.
     
  10. deputy_doofy macrumors 65816

    deputy_doofy

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2002
    #10
    I'm guessing you're under the age of 30. That's not meant as an insult, but rather it explains the question (if I'm right). All guys look... and will look until we're dead. If he's discreet about it and not doing a never-ending stare in your presence, then you win. If he doesn't take his eyes off of someone else while in your presence, then you have a reason to be angry.
    If you constantly make a big deal out of the former, you will find yourself fighting every male in existence, trying to make all males conform to your thinking, rather than simply accepting things for what they really are.
     
  11. beatsme macrumors 65816

    beatsme

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    Oct 6, 2005
    #11
    unfortunately, I'd have to agree. It's just something that men do. I wouldn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about it.
     
  12. Kwyjibo macrumors 68040

    Kwyjibo

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    Nov 5, 2002
  13. wimic thread starter macrumors regular

    wimic

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    Aug 24, 2006
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    calgary, alberta
    #13
    my intent in bringing this up isn't to point fingers... like i said - he's naturally going to be attracted to other women.

    i'm not trying to place all the blame... he doesn't have a problem with it so it's not even an issue on his end.

    i'm appreciating all the feedback though... i can't say i like him doing it, but at least now i understand that it's not because he's dissatisfied with me.
     
  14. bartelby macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    #14

    Sorry, I could have worded my post WAY better. I wasn't meaning to point fingers either.
    I was a clumsily written question.:eek:
     
  15. tvguru macrumors 6502

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    #15
    Well it could be that too. :p

    I'm sorry, everyone bash me now so she feels better again. :eek:
     
  16. wimic thread starter macrumors regular

    wimic

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    #16

    oh no worries... i took it as more of a retorical (sp?) question anyways. i understand what you were getting at and it's a valid point! :)
     
  17. wimic thread starter macrumors regular

    wimic

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    #17
    wow thanks for the encouraging words.
     
  18. bartelby macrumors Core

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    Jun 16, 2004
    #18

    [​IMG]

    There ya go!
     
  19. deputy_doofy macrumors 65816

    deputy_doofy

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    Sep 11, 2002
    #19
    Just to add a bit more, I was recently on vacation with my gf. While on vacation, I saw NUMEROUS slim, built 20-something year olds in bikinis. Yes, you know I looked - and looked all week long. I didn't do it disrespectfully. I wasn't staring with my jaw on the ground while my gf was attempting to talk to me, but my gf knew I was looking... and she was looking too, though the eye candy was mostly female.

    Again, I think it's an age/experience thing. The younger one is, the more they complain about this issue. As people mature and realize there's no harm in this, it becomes a non-issue.
     
  20. dsnort macrumors 68000

    dsnort

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    Jan 28, 2006
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    #20
    I check out other women all the time. It doesn't mean I am in any way dissatisfied with my wife, it's just natural to appreciate all beauty, not just the beauty you married.

    (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!)
     
  21. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    totally cool
    #21
    dress a little sexier. maybe his eyes will wander over to you. ;)
     
  22. tvguru macrumors 6502

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    Kenora, ON Canada
    #22
    Sorry, it's almost 4am (stupid mac events ;) ). Doesn't sound like you have a problem though, your on MacRumors must be a cool enough girl. As I said before looking = :) Touching = :mad:
     
  23. calculus Guest

    calculus

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    Dec 12, 2005
  24. wimic thread starter macrumors regular

    wimic

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    Aug 24, 2006
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    calgary, alberta
    #24
    No worries... it's just a touchy subject for me. the thought of not satisfying my guy in every arena kinda gets to me. i'm super confident when it comes to my intellect, personality and my sense of humor... my compassion and my loyalty, honesty and dedication... but my body has always been something i've struggled with. perhaps that's where the problem originated... with my self doubt... who knows
     
  25. vniow macrumors G4

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    Jul 18, 2002
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    I accidentally my whole location.
    #25
    That looks strangely familiar...
     

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