So I woke up Christmas morning all tingly with excitement to see what Santa left me. As I woke, a funky odor greeted me; smelled like a NYC cab. OK, I figured the big guy worked pretty hard last night and suffered a slight deodorant failure. A few spritzes of Oust didn't do much to hide the odor. Walk into the bathroom for my morning relief and a huge turd (yule log?) is sitting in the bowl. Santa did a # 2 in my bowl and didn't flush. OK, he didn't want to wake us. A flush and some more Oust. Walking to the living room in my bare feet and cookie crumbs were sticking to them. The fat bastard got crumbs all over the place. OK, he was busy and in a hurry. I asked for a dustbuster as mine died a month or so ago. I know the big guy will come through. Taking a few more steps and a new odor hit me. I see these big brown stains on my new carpet. WTF? Reindeer poop all over the place. This is just too much. Am I asking too much for the fat guy to wipe his feet before entering my house? In the spirit of the season, I take a deep breath (ooh, bad mistake) and move on. Besides, if you look at the stains from just the right angle, they look like pretty little snowflakes (except they're brown) falling from the sky (except the carpet is gray). Finally I see some gifts. I go to the one from my aunt (dustbuster on my list) and she gets me this dustbuster clone that looks like it'll break if I touch it. I see a gift from my girlfriend. I rip it open to find a copy of PhotoShop (for Windows). Aw, thank you honey. I can't wait to hit CompUSA the day after Christmas to exchange it for a version that will actually run on my computer. I know it'll all be better later when I go to see my niece and nephew. Spoiled brats have everything in the world and appreciate nothing but hey, it's all about the kids, right? Hope you all have a great Christmas.