Stop me if you've heard this before...

Discussion in 'General Mac Discussion' started by AtomBoy, Oct 28, 2002.

  1. AtomBoy macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Location:
    Japan
    #1
    Three Apple Engineers and three Microsoft Employees are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft Employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple Engineers buy only a single ticket.

    "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft Employee.

    "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple Engineer. They all board the train. The Microsoft Employees take their respective seats but all three Apple Engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

    Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

    He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Microsoft Employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Microsoft Employees decide to copy the Apple Engineers (what's new!!!) on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).

    When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple Engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

    "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Microsoft Employee.

    "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple Engineer.

    When they board the train the three Microsoft Employees cram into a restroom and the three Apple Engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Apple Engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft Employees are hiding.

    He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." ;)
     
  2. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #2
    Have to hand it to them MicroSoft employees, always one step behind those Apple employees.
     
  3. irmongoose macrumors 68030

    irmongoose

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2001
    Location:
    Sometimes Tokyo, sometimes California
    #3
    Niceee.. where'd ya get that from?




    irmongoose
     
  4. medea macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #4
    That was pretty fuuny and I hadn't heard it before. Is there a site full of apple jokes?
     

    Attached Files:

    • 18.gif
      18.gif
      File size:
      497 bytes
      Views:
      231
  5. AtomBoy thread starter macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Location:
    Japan
    #5
    Strangely, a friend of mine who lives in The Netherlands, who works on a M$ helpdesk sent me this joke...

    Just goes to show what M$ 's own employees think of their company. ;)
     
  6. irmongoose macrumors 68030

    irmongoose

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2001
    Location:
    Sometimes Tokyo, sometimes California
    #6
    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That just makes the joke twice as funny! :D :) :D :) :D




    irmongoose
     
  7. crassusad44 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2001
    Location:
    Scandinavia
    #7
    HEHEHEHEHEHE :D :D :D

    Quite entertaining I must say! Anyone else got a M$ joke? Maybe this could be the official M$ joke thread! :p :D ;)
     
  8. irmongoose macrumors 68030

    irmongoose

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2001
    Location:
    Sometimes Tokyo, sometimes California
    #8
    Ok then, here goes...

    Microsoft in takeover of Roman Catholic Church

    VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.

    With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.

    "We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."

    Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess your sins, receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your home."

    A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro language which you can program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your computer.

    An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St. Peter's Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.

    Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained.

    The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to these key intellectual properties.

    "The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea -- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came on the scene."

    But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted by Christianity, lags behind.

    Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every home."

    Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple of different implementations," said Gates.

    The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in the increasingly competitive religious market.




    irmongoose
     
  9. LimeiBook86 macrumors 604

    LimeiBook86

    Joined:
    May 4, 2002
    Location:
    Go Vegan
  10. GetSome681 macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    #10
    The original joke is not an Apple vs. M$ joke. It's applied to many situations, as I've heard it as engineers vs. scientists...tons of different situations..so it's not really Apple/MS specific...someone just made that addition to the story. Just letting people know.
     
  11. medea macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #11
    Hmm, but how do you know it wasn't originally a Apple vs. MS joke, and people only later added different situations to it such as the engineers vs. scientists......something to think about.......
    but seriously, I don't see it as being so funny when you replace apple and microsoft with scientists and engineers, maybe because I'm neither of those but hey......:D
     
  12. GetSome681 macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2002
    #12
    Well because the original person who passed this joke on to me learnt of it close to 20 years ago. I seriously doubt that 20 years ago the Apple vs. Microsoft situation was as strong as it is today or in recent years.
     
  13. TheJ macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2002
    Location:
    Central Coast, CA
    #13
    How many Microsoft developers does it take to change a lightbulb?










    .



















    .


















    .




    None! They just change the standard to darkness! :D
     
  14. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #14
    That's almost as bad as,

    Did you hear the one about the day there was rampant panic in the halls of Microsoft, and everything screeched to a halt?





















    ---

    Their lawyers called in sick.
     
  15. macmax macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2002
    Location:
    caribbean
    #15
    i learned that one in 1984.
    apple vs microsuck
     

Share This Page