Sure-Fire Way to Stop Telemarketers!

Discussion in 'Community' started by Hemingray, Oct 24, 2002.

  1. Hemingray macrumors 68030

    Hemingray

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Location:
    Ha ha haaa!
    #1
    I thought this was pretty good... :D

    Tired of telemarketers? The next time you get one on the phone, simply say "Hold on, please." Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time consuming those boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the telco beep beep beep (off the hook) tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

    When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, why not include them with the payment? Let THEM throw the stuff away.

    When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express, or a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back... blank! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting all their junk back in the mail. Let's let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and best of all...THEY'RE paying for it! Twice!

    Let's support our postal service. They say e-mail is cutting into their business and that's why they need to keep increasing postage. We can help!
     
  2. King Cobra macrumors 603

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    #2
    :D From where did you get this, man?

    My parents have made up a few puns to get around telemarketers. Usually my father comes up with funny lines. "Could you deliver to Sweden?" "[Acts like a yokel]" One time my mother responded "No" when she was asked if she was 18 or older. :eek:

    I've been asked several times, and sometimes I say I am not old enough. I may have to try that one time. :p :rolleyes:
     
  3. scem0 macrumors 604

    scem0

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Location:
    back in NYC!
    #3
    If your watching a war movie put the phone next to the speaker when there are people screaming and explosions etc. and tell the telemarketer that you are 'busy'.
     
  4. scem0 macrumors 604

    scem0

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Location:
    back in NYC!
    #4
    Or the classic 'not knowing english act'. They call and all you have to do is say. 'No speaka da Engless.'
     
  5. Hemingray thread starter macrumors 68030

    Hemingray

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Location:
    Ha ha haaa!
    #5
    It came out of a forwarded email I got from my dad today at work. I'm not mean spirited by nature (usually :p ) but this is something I'm definitely looking forward to doing. Hah!
     
  6. buffsldr macrumors 6502a

    buffsldr

    Joined:
    May 7, 2001
    #6
    I like it. But, you know what is not as funny but effective. I told them to put me on their do not call list. after saying this about 5 times over 2 weeks, i stopped getting calls. its been 2months with no telemarketers.


    but that was funny hemmi, thanks
     
  7. medea macrumors 68030

    medea

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Location:
    Madison, Wi
    #7
    When I moved, since I had so many issues with our local provider Sprint, my girlfriend and I decided to skip out on the land-line and go with cellphones and cable for our internet. Needless to say I get no unsolicited phone calls.;)
     
  8. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #8
    There's the old -

    "What's your name/number, so I can call you back?"

    followed immediately by.

    "What are you wearing?"

    Just act REALLY interested, where they live, what they look like, etc.

    Nothing wrong with turning a telemarketing call into a prank perverted call. One that would normally get you arrested if you initiated it, they did after all - call you.
     
  9. cubist macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2002
    Location:
    Muncie, Indiana
    #9
    A friend of mine has had good success with...

    "I'm unemployed"
     
  10. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #10
    My friend used this one, without even bothering to use a fake accent:

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: I'm sorry, I don't speak English.
    Telemarketer: (long pause) OK, I'll call back.

    Other ideas:

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: Let me call you back. What time do YOU eat dinner?

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: Hold on just a second. (Put hand over phone, but not enough to block the sound.) Honey, it's a telemarketer. Get the big whistle while I keep him on the line. (Take hand off phone.) OK, please continue.

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: Have you considered whether you have enough insurance? If you sign up today, I can get you a special deal...

    And my personal favorite...

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: I'm sorry. I'm not here right now.
     
  11. mischief macrumors 68030

    mischief

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2001
    Location:
    Santa Cruz Ca
    #11
    having been the unfortunate schmuck stuck doing that job......

    I do the most obnoxious thing possible:

    I let them go through their whole script, sieze the conversation from them once they're out of lines, quickly critique their presentation, then I finnish with the dreaded : Please Take Me Off Your List." Which legally binds that Telemarketting agency to skipping my # for ten years .

    There have only been a few instances where their script has pissed me off to the point of getting aggressive. There was a Policeman's Union type group that was making what amounted to threatening calls to raise money for something. I will not tolerate Extortion from police.

    If an agency continues to call you after you have used the above magic words you have the right to request: The name of the Telemarketing Agency, The name of the Telemarketer, the Telemarketer's Supervisor's name, the name of the company that commissioned the calls and where they got your name. This info can be submitted on a form complaint letter to your State's Better Business Bureau.:D
     
  12. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #12
    Re: having been the unfortunate schmuck stuck doing that job......

    I used to get those too. I would politely decline while worrying that they might not "protect and serve" me as well if I was on their "won't donate" list. Then I read that groups asking for donations and claiming to be affiliated with your local police are fake - it's just a clever pitch from a group who gave themselves that name. Supposedly, the police and their representatives never solicit donations by phone, just as they are never supposed to solicit discounts from local merchants.
     
  13. Billicus macrumors 6502a

    Billicus

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2002
    Location:
    Charles City, Iowa
  14. bousozoku Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Location:
    Gone but not forgotten.
    #14
    "Is Mr. so-and-so home?"
    "I'm sorry but he's dead."
    "uh...uhhhh"
     
  15. bunge macrumors member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2001
  16. scem0 macrumors 604

    scem0

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Location:
    back in NYC!
    #16
    LOL i just thought of a good one:

    Tele: "Hi, I'm with telco and we are selling...."

    Me: (Bursts out in song)" IN THE ARMS OF THE ANGELS, FLY AWAY FROM HERE!"

    Tele: "Excuse me?!?"

    Me: "Im a slaaaaaaaaaaaave for you!"

    Tele: "Okay... Would you like to buy phone...."

    Me: "I don't want no scrub,
    A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me,
    Hanging out the passenger side,
    Of his best friends ride,
    Trying to hollar at me. "

    Tele: Click....

    Me: "AHAHAHHAHAHAHA"


    :rolleyes: :D :D :D :D
     
  17. springscansing macrumors 6502a

    springscansing

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2002
    Location:
    New York
    #17
    Only cell and cable? For some reason that's really hot...eee... I gotta get out more.
     
  18. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #18
    Pretend you are a criminal:

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: I'm sorry. Mr. Smith isn't home right now. I'm just the burglar.

    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: Can you leave the handcuffs off for another minute, officer? This guy on the phone wants to ask me something.


    ...or pretend you are an answering machine:

    Victim: Hello?
    Telemarketer: I'm selling...
    Victim: Please leave your message at the sound of the tone. Beep.
     
  19. ejb190 macrumors 65816

    ejb190

    #20
    And for those of you with caller ID...

    You: Answer the phone with "Hello, is Steve there?"
    Them: "Ah...., No"
    You: "I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." Click!
     
  20. zimv20 macrumors 601

    zimv20

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2002
    Location:
    toronto
    #21
    i've had good success by asking them:

    "do you mind if i record this conversation for quality control or training purposes?"

    seriously, i did some research a couple years ago and found that Ameritech, my local phone service provider, put me on a "preferred customer" list when i signed up for service. of course, they don't ask you if you want to and don't tell you. and they don't take you off unless you request it (i.e. badger them).

    it is illegal for Ameritech to sell that list, but they can give it away. and they do -- they give it to some 3rd-party (that is apparently still part of Ameritech), and that 3rd-party sells the list.

    once i was removed, my telemarketing calls dropped about 80%, in my estimation.

    also worthwhile is the "take me off your call list" technique, recommended by an earlier poster.
     
  21. zimv20 macrumors 601

    zimv20

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2002
    Location:
    toronto
    #22
    peapod

    i once got a call from peapod, the home delivery grocery service. it went like this:

    "sir, where do you now shop for groceries?"

    "i don't."

    "how do you eat?"

    "i have a vegetable garden and a cow."

    <click>

    oh, i live in the city.
     
  22. Pismo macrumors 6502

    Pismo

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2002
    Location:
    NH
    #23
    RING RING

    Q: "Hello sir, may we speak to the person of the house who pays the phone bill?"

    A: "We don't have a phone"...

    CLICK!
     
  23. wilburpan macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2002
    #24
    Placing your name on a do not call list definitely works. Everytime I've moved, I've done two things:

    1. Registered my new phone number on the master "do not call" list managed by the Direct Marketers Association .(http://www.dmaconsumers.org/cgi/offtelephonedave)

    And yes, I do register by snail mail, rather than pay the $5 to register online.

    2. Every time I get a telemarketer, I listen to the sales pitch, then ask to talk to a supervisor. I tell the supervisor to put my number on the do not call list. I do this EVERY time. Hanging up does not prevent future calls.

    I repeat: do this EVERY time.

    And if I need to relieve stress, I fib and tell the supervisor that I already asked their company to put me on the do not call list 6 weeks ago, and demand to know why I am still being called. Then I rant for a while until my stress is relieved. :D

    Stick to these two strategies and you will not get calls at home after about 6-8 weeks. Be patient - the calls will stop. Making up witty comebacks is entertaining, but it will not stop the calls from coming.

    And for anyone who questions as to whether this is worth it: I have never had to get an unlisted number, and I don't get any telemarketing calls at home.
     

Share This Page