Tell Me A Joke?

Discussion in 'General Mac Discussion' started by CubaTBird, Jan 6, 2005.

  1. CubaTBird macrumors 68020

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    Apr 18, 2004
    #1
    Is it true that if you ask your mac to tell you a joke it will? If so, how do I make this incredible feat come true on my iBook?
     
  2. Norouzi macrumors 6502

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    Aug 6, 2004
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    Philadelphia, PA
    #2
    :D Yes it is true, you can ask your Mac to tell you a joke. I believe you'll need to go into System Prefrences and turn on Speakable items (basicly voice control for your Mac) You should also be able to find a list of all the speakable commands and there it will tell you exactly what to say and what will happen.
    I believe the comand is simply "Tell me a joke" and the computer procedes from there.
     
  3. wordmunger macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    #3
    Found this (old) article here. I haven't tried it, too many steps for me. If you get it to work let us know what the joke is!
     
  4. wordmunger macrumors 603

    wordmunger

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    #4
    Okay, now I tried it.

    Whoah. Those are some unbelievably bad jokes. I'm sorry I tried it now.
     
  5. snkTab macrumors 6502a

    snkTab

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  6. Norouzi macrumors 6502

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  7. whocares macrumors 65816

    whocares

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    #7
    Also on the amusing side: you can find a psycologist somewhere in Terminal. IIRC has to do with eMacs.

    There's a version of Pong in there somewhere too!

    Basic UNIX heritage...
     
  8. Mechcozmo macrumors 603

    Mechcozmo

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    Jul 17, 2004
    #8
    Open the Terminal.
    Type "emacs" (no quotes)
    Press ESC+X
    Type "doctor" (no quotes)
    OR
    Type "pong" (get the idea yet?)
    In pong you need to use the up/down and left/right arrow keys to move the paddles... hard to get used to.
     
  9. whocares macrumors 65816

    whocares

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    #9
    Thanx, I couldn't be bothered to look it up. :) :cool:
     
  10. jackieonasses macrumors 6502a

    jackieonasses

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    #10
    one of the jokes is

    Me- Powerbook, tell me a Joke

    Powerbook- Knock, Knock

    Me- Who's there

    Powerbook- Wanda

    Me (laughing by now) - Wanda who!?!

    Powerbook - Wanda like to get some lemonade?


    I laughed. plus it had a computer synthesized voice and it sounded hilarious.

    kyle
     
  11. mms macrumors 6502a

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    Oct 8, 2003
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    CA
    #11
    eMacs is different from emacs. eMacs is Apple's line of desktops targeted at the educational market. emacs is the UNIX text editor that's been around forever, since way before the eMac. Make sure you don't get these mixed up. And BTW, there was Snake in emacs as well.
     
  12. Mechcozmo macrumors 603

    Mechcozmo

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    #12
    Follow my instructions above, but type "snake" instead. Or "tetris". Or "5x5" or "robot".....
     
  13. haiggy macrumors 65816

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    Aug 20, 2003
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    #13
    Yeah, I have this running. The jokes are terribly lame but very funny because they are so bad. It's like:

    Me: Tell me a joke

    iBook: Knock knock

    Me: Who's there

    iBook: Orange

    Me: Orange who

    iBook: Orange you glad you are running Mac OS X?

    (something like that) lol But yeah, I found this really cool when I first got my iBook. You can create custom commands and stuff too. Just find the Speakable Items folder and write a script in applescript and it will run when you say what you called the file. It's quite cool. You can do almost anything but type with it :( Close windows, go to menus, quit, swich programs, open programs -- it's amazing. And don't forget you can play chess as well :)
     
  14. whocares macrumors 65816

    whocares

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    #14
    Ooooops, my bad! :)
     
  15. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

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    Oct 20, 2002
    #15
    I'm one of those that can't remember a jokes five minutes after hearing. How about that my Mac can. :eek:
     
  16. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #16
    I just think it's sad that my Mac is a better joke teller than I am.

    So's my four-year old, btw, and she provides the added benefit of telling me jokes without me needing to ask.

    Usually horrible knock-knock jokes (as in: they make no sense whatsoever), but, still, funny because she loves them so much.
     
  17. MacDawg macrumors P6

    MacDawg

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    #17
    For some reason this conjures images of Scotty picking up the mouse in Star Trek IV and trying to talk to the computer... :rolleyes:

    "Hello computer... computer"

    Woof, Woof - Dawg
     
  18. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #18
    Poor Scotty - he was only off by a decade or so!
     
  19. blizzard_nz macrumors newbie

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    Oct 22, 2004
    #19
    How do change the jokes??

    I would love to change the jokes to my own ones. Now that will be fuuny hering my mac telling some um adult jokes.

    Anyone know where we can find the jokes within macs files?
     
  20. CaptainCanuck macrumors member

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    Aug 15, 2005
    #20
    But at least he got the computer right. :D
     
  21. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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  22. jdechko macrumors 68040

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    Jul 1, 2004
    #22
    I would imagine that it is some sort of text file. I wish I could help you out, but since I dont have a mac... anyway, I assume that it would be pretty easy.
     
  23. carpe diem macrumors 6502

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    Sep 18, 2005
    #23
    Well just so you know 20 minutes after you start you will get bored (unless you have know human contact)!!!
     
  24. geese macrumors 6502a

    geese

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    Oct 23, 2003
    Location:
    London, UK
    #24
    Joke:

    Mr a: Do you use a dictaphone?
    Mr b: No, I use my finger.

    </coat>
     
  25. ohcrap macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2005
    #25
    PB: Knock knock.

    Me: Who's there? (already laughing... lol)

    PB: Amos.

    Me: Amos who?

    PB: 'Amos'quito bit me.

    Me: :rolleyes:
     

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