The Axis of Evil Wannabes; some day we'll look back on all this...

Discussion in 'Community' started by Nepenthe, Mar 13, 2003.

  1. Nepenthe macrumors member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2003
    Location:
    Minnesota
    #1
    Well, with the world fast accelerating on a course to blow us all up, every day I wake up and wonder to myself if now is not a good time for that whole "Live every day like it's your last" philosophy.

    Axis of Evil Wannabes, by John Cleese

    "Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

    Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the best."

    Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

    "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

    International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
    within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

    Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

    With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

    Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

    While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
    Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges."
    ;)
    Cheers-
    Nep
     
  2. pantagruel macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2002
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    here and there
    #2
    lol funny, thanks for that, though this is fiction not a current event bro.
     
  3. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #3
    Current events require links to the news story, try and remember that last time.

    This is pretty damn funny, heard it months ago right after Bush announced the 'Axis of Evil'. I don't think John Cleese wrote it though.

    D
     
  4. alex_ant macrumors 68020

    alex_ant

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2002
    Location:
    All up in your bidness
    #4
    Greeting to a fellow resident of Mini Apple S. At the moment I'm wishing for Canada to be included in the Axis of Evil... all they're good for is sending us their stupid cold fronts.
     
  5. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #5
    Thank you for the laugh. Although there is always some truth in comedy, that's what is scary about our world. :p
     
  6. Perci Mac macrumors member

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    Feb 1, 2003
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    In a state of perpetual waiting
    #6
    Thanks for the laugh. Its so close to reality it's shocking.:eek:
     
  7. LethalWolfe macrumors G3

    LethalWolfe

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    #7
    Thanx for the laugh. :) Good thing to read right after work.


    Lethal
     
  8. Cursor macrumors 6502

    Cursor

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2002
    #8
    Great story. I got to pass that one around the office tomorrow!
     
  9. voicegy macrumors 65816

    voicegy

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2002
    Location:
    Sandy Eggo - MacRumors Member since 1-1-2002
    #9
    Brilliant! Thank the gods that John Cleese is still around...(nothing in this world makes me laugh harder than Fawlty Towers)...I can just hear his voice when I read this post!
     

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