The Axis of Evil Wannabes; some day we'll look back on all this...

Discussion in 'Community' started by Nepenthe, Mar 13, 2003.

  1. Nepenthe macrumors member

    Feb 24, 2003
    Well, with the world fast accelerating on a course to blow us all up, every day I wake up and wonder to myself if now is not a good time for that whole "Live every day like it's your last" philosophy.

    Axis of Evil Wannabes, by John Cleese

    "Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

    Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the best."

    Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

    "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

    International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
    within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

    Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

    With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

    Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

    While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
    Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges."
  2. pantagruel macrumors regular

    Oct 29, 2002
    here and there
    lol funny, thanks for that, though this is fiction not a current event bro.
  3. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Nov 1, 2001
    Current events require links to the news story, try and remember that last time.

    This is pretty damn funny, heard it months ago right after Bush announced the 'Axis of Evil'. I don't think John Cleese wrote it though.

  4. alex_ant macrumors 68020


    Feb 5, 2002
    All up in your bidness
    Greeting to a fellow resident of Mini Apple S. At the moment I'm wishing for Canada to be included in the Axis of Evil... all they're good for is sending us their stupid cold fronts.
  5. wdlove macrumors P6


    Oct 20, 2002
    Thank you for the laugh. Although there is always some truth in comedy, that's what is scary about our world. :p
  6. Perci Mac macrumors member

    Feb 1, 2003
    In a state of perpetual waiting
    Thanks for the laugh. Its so close to reality it's shocking.:eek:
  7. LethalWolfe macrumors G3


    Jan 11, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Thanx for the laugh. :) Good thing to read right after work.

  8. Cursor macrumors 6502


    Jul 17, 2002
    Great story. I got to pass that one around the office tomorrow!
  9. voicegy macrumors 65816


    Jan 1, 2002
    Sandy Eggo - MacRumors Member since 1-1-2002
    Brilliant! Thank the gods that John Cleese is still around...(nothing in this world makes me laugh harder than Fawlty Towers)...I can just hear his voice when I read this post!

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