The good humour thread

Discussion in 'Community' started by Tahko, Jul 23, 2005.

  1. Tahko macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2005
    Location:
    Finnland
    #1
    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

    On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

    On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

    On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

    On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

    On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

    I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
     
  2. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    #2
    Thank you. Very good. It reminds me of a segment on Rove (a TV show over here) called "What The..." :D
     
  3. ham_man macrumors 68020

    ham_man

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2005
    #3
    Those are some good ones. They always have quite a few of those in the back of Consumer Reports...
     
  4. MattG macrumors 68040

    MattG

    Joined:
    May 27, 2003
    Location:
    Fletcher, NC
    #4
    I can't believe you didn't include the "do not eat iPod shuffle" thing in your list!
     

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  5. EJBasile macrumors 65816

    EJBasile

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2004
    #5
    Cortaslim (and other diet pills on tv)- results not typical

    (hahaha that one cracks me up)
     
  6. clayj macrumors 604

    clayj

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    visiting from downstream
    #6
    There used to be a sign on the trash room to my building that started like this:

    PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW THESE IMPORTANT RULES WHEN USING THE TRASH ROOM! (If you cannot read this sign, please have someone read it to you.)

    Seriously, someone wrote a note to the illiterate. "If you cannot read this"? Yikes.
     
  7. Mechcozmo macrumors 603

    Mechcozmo

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    #7
    I named my Shuffle "DO NOT EAT" for that reason. :D
     
  8. cooknwitha macrumors 6502a

    cooknwitha

    Joined:
    May 5, 2005
    Location:
    London
    #8
    Similar to a Government Hotline over here that at one stage had the message "If you cannot speak English, please press '8'".
     
  9. rdowns Suspended

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #9
    My favorite, from my nephew's stroller

    Do not fold while child is seated.
     
  10. .:*Robot Boy*:. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2005
    Location:
    New Zealand
    #11
    Oh great, so not only do they feed you s**t, they make you wipe your mouth with the remnants of it afterwards :rolleyes:

    By the way, what's the difference between McDonald's and "McRonald's"? :confused:
     
  11. munkle macrumors 68030

    munkle

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2004
    Location:
    On a jet plane
    #12
    One's real and the other's a spoof?...
     

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