The "I don't Understand Girls" Thread.

Discussion in 'Community' started by Abstract, Aug 9, 2004.

  1. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #1
    Okay, I know that the stereotype is that guys don't understand girls. Its all over television, especially crappy sitcoms where the husband is made out to look like an ignorant, lazy, stupid, uninvolving father, and the wife is made out to be a biatch. I don't know if this affects how boys and girls interact with each other later in life, slotted into these archetypes later in life, but that's not my point, really.

    I just want to know if there are some things you don't understand about girls. Generally, I don't find them difficult to understand, or not as difficult as the media tends to make it out to be, but I don't understand why some girls will say things like, "Oh (insert name here), you're so nice and sweet," when they wouldn't ever date you!! Sure, you're great together, and she thinks you're nice, but noooo, she wouldn't date you! I'm not in that situation right now, but I have been in the past, and it has always made me think, "Why not give it a try!?" :confused:
     
  2. stoid macrumors 601

    stoid

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    #2
    Many, but certainly not all, girls that I know seem to exist only to get attention. That's got to be a ****ty life. Also, girls tend to change their mind more often and yet still be more stubborn than boys with their fickle decisions.
     
  3. Daveman Deluxe macrumors 68000

    Daveman Deluxe

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    #3
    Abstract, that's the thing I probably understand least about girls as well. If I'm so nice and sweet, why not give me a chance?

    Furthermore, why is it assumed by girls that just because I'm not always funny and sometimes not even friendly, that I'm not a person who needs friendship and affection and love just as much as the other guy over there? Just because I'm not outgoing and gregarious doesn't mean I don't like a hug every now and then too. :eek:
     
  4. Kingsnapped macrumors 6502a

    Kingsnapped

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    #4
    The Ladder Theory is scripture here. It opened my eyes, made me more of a jerk-hole and helped me end frivolous chases.

    Read it. Your life will change.
     
  5. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #5
    I think I can write a summary that will pretty much offend everyone even though my intent is to offend no one. No stereotypes are 100%; these are just generalities as I see them:

    (1) Guys are easy to understand. We want what makes us happy/comfortable now. Food, shelter, clothing. We take the easy way. We live "now". We do not talk about relationships because either they are "OK" - meaning they exist "now", or they are over, meaning the woman has left. Relationship endings tend to catch us by surprise, as they were just fine when "now" was a few minutes before they ended. As far as sex goes: it is always great the first few times we sleep with someone, and generally more boring after that. We're wired that way. As a result, those of us who can do so often sleep with as many women as possible since it's a thrill. Of course, those guys often end up alone, but with lots of memories as they pass into their old age. The rest of us appreciate a woman who will stay with us, and tend to favor that over sleeping around. Why? Because a partner at home who will sleep with us is better than trying to find a stranger who will, and a loving relationship is a good thing, even for men. We tend to be somewhat self-centered, and we look for women who will take care of us. Rich, powerful, attractive men rarely marry and/or stay faithful because they feel little incentive to do so.

    (2) Women are equally easy to understand. When young, they want the "dangerous" type, as those guys are the alpha males women want. As they grow older, they want the more stable types, since the "alpha" guys sleep with them and never call back. Women want children, so they want partners who will stick around to provide and care for the family. The state of the relationship is always on the mind of the woman. Women are more caring, more empathetic, more giving than men. They work on relationships when men don't. A loving sexual relationship is better for them than a casual fling, at least once they get a bit older. Rich, powerful, attractive women often marry and/or stay faithful because they enjoy a long-term, loving relationship - even though they don't need to.


    These are stereotypes. They apply to no one 100% of the time, but apply to most people most of the time, in my limited experience.
     
  6. musicpyrite macrumors 68000

    musicpyrite

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    #6
    Girls, English, and Latin, for me, go in all the same category.

    I will never understand them, no matter how hard I try, or what I do.

    I realized this, and I am happier because of it. :)


    Kingsnapped, thanks for the link, it looks.... interesting.....
     
  7. beatle888 macrumors 68000

    beatle888

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    #7
    speaking from experience. if you want a serious relationship stay away from the barbie dolls. they cant see beyond themselves and are very high maintenance. they'll never love you as much as you love them. which isnt good when the person who has the upper hand (the one that doesnt have as much invested in the relationship) is selfish. im moving on to the nice girls. paris hilton types are poison.

    can you tell ive just been burned :D :confused:
     
  8. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #8
    Very funny. Oddly true-sounding. ;)
     
  9. yellow Moderator emeritus

    yellow

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    #9
    BEWARE: (possibly accurate) GENERALIZATION FOLLOWS

    This is a euphemism for, "you're nice but not hot/hunky/rich/smart/stupid/bad-boy enough for me to date. Later in life when I've been through all those and realized that none of them made me happy (in fact, some of them treated me like crapola), I'll find myself a nice boy and settle down. But that's a long time away. Unlucky you, you found me before I came to this realization, so you'll have to settle with falling in love/lust with me and always ending up going home alone. Maybe I'll give you a little kiss to string you along though.. sound nice? It does to me! Let's just be friends, sucker."
     
  10. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

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    #10
    Just to be fair, women get this same treatment from men - except that, typically, the guy won't even talk to her. Or, worse, he'll sleep with her, deny it, and never talk to her again.
     
  11. Kingsnapped macrumors 6502a

    Kingsnapped

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    #11
    I stayed in the same school system for all 12 years, and that made it DAMN hard to get out of the friend zone with anybody.

    ...oi
     
  12. yellow Moderator emeritus

    yellow

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    #12
    Too true. And sad.

    It all boils down to emotions. I don't want to share my emotions. I want to keep them bottled up and release them only when I've had too much burbon.
     
  13. Abstract thread starter macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #13
    Heh, oh so true. :)

    I knew about the ladder theory, except a slightly different version where we all get points for certain attributes, and men only date women around their own point total. Say a guy has a score of 72 points. Such a man only has a realistic chance of dating someone within +5 or -5 points from this total, or between 67 and 77 points. Generally, I think this point system is accurate, although the fickle bunch aims way too high and never gets together with anyone. :eek:
    Plus girls tend to hang out with other girls near their own point total, which is why hot girls will naturally hang out with each other. The hot girls who hang out mainly with lower scoring girls probably have a self-esteem issue. :p

    The problem with ladder/point theory is that if men and women date or only people with comparable point totals, why bother dumping Jane for Connie at all? They're probably both around the same point total anyway! So when a friend says that you're nice and sweet, but would never really consider dating you, well since you both probably score near the same point total, why not hook up? :confused:
     
  14. Neserk macrumors 6502a

    Neserk

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    #14
    The nice thing? Well, we are suspicious of it... it is the "too good to be true" problem.

    What I don't understand about females (and I am one) is all the caddiness. Drives me nutty. I prefer to have male friends. Relationships are usually pretty straight forward with no hidden agenda, I don't worry about being gossiped about and I don't have to constantly be afraid of hurting their feelings because something didn't come out quite right. Women tend to be easily offended at nothing, imo/ime.

    Good thing I'm not a lesbian because I'd never have a long term relationship.
     
  15. iJon macrumors 604

    iJon

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    #15
    I'll answer and it's plain and simple. You have already fallen in her category of friends zone. I discussed this alot when Daveman made a thread. I answered and most people seemed to agree with me, even the ladies. women like a challenge, someone that is hard to get, things along those lines. yes you are sweet and all those things, but thats not necessarily what she wants. you guys complain that they always tell you about their jerk boyfriends and all that stuff. its not really that they like jerks. they like spontaneous, mainly confident men who know how to have a good time. these are traits that jerks usually portray, not necessarly her galpal (you) who she complains to everyday and is a "brother" to her. most men who complain about this aren't the most confident, let girls walk over them, and cater to the girls early on in when they first meet, where all romantic interests are lost. that is my opinion in a nutshell and i feel i am right, but feel free to disagree, i always love a good debate.

    iJon
     
  16. Kingsnapped macrumors 6502a

    Kingsnapped

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    #16
    Because the man wants to sleep with somebody else! Jane is "conquored," and Connie is fresh meat. That's how the stereotype goes anyways.
     
  17. AmigoMac macrumors 68020

    AmigoMac

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    #17
    To make happy a woman, you need to love her, say how beautiful she is, how nice the dress passes to her, comment about her body and how wonderful is becoming everyday, open every door for her, invite her at least once a week for dinner outside, have time with her family on weekends, her mother may also come suddenly to visit you, money for her and her best friend and her little brother, listen to her about every stupid TV program she likes, repair her parents PC , worst ... her ex-boyfriend's PC, because they are only friends and it doesn't mean anything for her... and ask twice a day if she wants something for the day, ask early in the morning and at noon, her opinion changes fast and you may not miss that...

    But, take care, don't give that the whole time, because she will feel a perfect and boring world where everything is given and done, then she will go away with the first "SON OF A B*TCH" who just wants to f*ck with her ...... :cool:
     
  18. mj_1903 macrumors 6502a

    mj_1903

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    #18
    I think your first job is to define "girls". I have dated girls that range from the barbie doll to the ultimate Tom boy.

    For instance, right now my eyes are set on a girl who does not want love, is stunningly beautiful but only cares about a beautiful mind.

    Are there things I don't understand her? Well, no. She makes sense all the time, although I do have a lot of experience with women.

    I think that the media does a darn good job of convincing men that women are hard to work out. Too often I header the standard "women..." and grunts of acceptance. I have never had to think that, they just make sense.

    On the other hand I know I would be confusing to girls. I am fairly closed, am exceptionally stubborn and I don't really care what other people think too much. People don't get to know me well unless I let them, and I am sure that can be daunting.
     
  19. Applespider macrumors G4

    Applespider

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    #19
    Our brains work differently. We women think about everything - we analyse things too much, we assume that whenever guys are quiet, they must be thinking about something, and start prodding to find out what. Meanwhile the poor bloke is sitting there just chilling out - not even thinking about 'thinking' until we ask him what's up.

    Guys on the other hand assume that women are sitting chilling when we're really stressed out and want someone to ask us what's wrong.

    I know a lot of women who treat their men like crap and they go panting back for more. I also know a lot of nice women who don't have menfolk (and no, that's not just because they only have a good personality) and wonder whether perhaps the 'treat like crap' is the way to go?
     
  20. Roger1 macrumors 65816

    Roger1

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    #20
    This thread is waayy too deep for a Tuesday morning (6:45). Maybe tonight after a couple of beverages I can sit down and read it.
     
  21. yellow Moderator emeritus

    yellow

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    #21
    One of the reasons I married my wife :)
     
  22. howard macrumors 68020

    howard

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    #22
    i understand girls pretty well and because of that have been in a long lasting and a lot of times long distance relationship.

    btw: the ladder theory is complete crap as far as 97% of the cases go, but it is funny to read and take lightly
     
  23. yellow Moderator emeritus

    yellow

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    #23
    Sounds like you're a "hot/hunky/rich/smart/stupid/bad-boy"! :D
     
  24. jihad the movie macrumors regular

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    #24
    The movie Wet Hot American Summer...

    Wet Hot American Summer really put things into perspective for me. Just check out this movie quote...

    Katie: Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and ---- his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.


    Yeah, that is pretty much where I am locked into things. All the girls who are interested in me are either not my type, or slutty. The girls I like, really like me, but are more concerned about getting porked by "super hot" guys who treat them like garbage. Bah. When will they ever learn?
     
  25. Abstract thread starter macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #25
    See, I don't like that attitude with girls. Lots of girls are that way. Its almost like they want to be with nice guys, but want to hang out with guys they feel are more fun until they get older, when they want to settle down. I have a problem with this because they use people until it suits them to go out with someone for real.

    So they use one type of guy in their youth, ditch them when they're older, and go out with the other type because it's beneficial for them as a lifestyle choice. Its almost like a girl who dates a guy for money, except socially acceptable because its done so regularly. Its almost like they say, "Oh, he'll be around later when I want to settle down, so for now, I'll just enjoy myself until I need to settle down with a nice guy with a decent job."

    @Yellow: You lucky mofo. :p
     

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