Threatened online... help!

[someguy]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm told that very, very few people follow through on these sorts of threats. This person doesn't even know your name, let alone where you live, and has no real way of discovering either piece of information if you'd don't give it to him.

In the old days, sad cases like this made random threatening phone calls in the middle of the night. They're at least a little disturbing (as they are supposed to be), but in the vast majority of cases, completely harmless.

He has only my screen name, an email address (which my profile does not have any bit of accurate information about me), an IP (which has changed twice since the night I first spoke with him), and if he was paying attention, reason to believe I live in a certain city in which I actually do live.

I'm just a little paranoid anyways because in the year and a half I've lived on my own, I've had several incidents happen where I was left with good reason to believe that someone wanted to harm me. I'm not one to exaggerate anything, and I do think that my own paranoia plays a factor in my ability (or inability) to stay cool and not worry about things like this.

I just worry that one day I'll be too quick to write a worry off as just being paranoid when there may really be cause for concern.

I appreciate the input from everyone who chose to post in this thread. Keep it coming!

 

[IJ Reilly]

Paranoia is its own reward I guess.

A few years ago, I received a death threat via e-mail. This person knew my name and could easily have found out where I lived. He lived in another city only a few miles away. The local police were clearly unmoved when I asked them to take a report. For reasons which are complicated, I tried the FBI. They were far more interested. They actually paid this individual a visit. The agent called me the next day and said he thought there wasn't anything to worry about -- the guy was a bit off his nut, but not really dangerous. I stopped worrying. About that, anyway.

 

[iMacZealot]

Out of curiosity, how did you meet this guy? Have you ever met him in person?

 

[user13]

Paranoia is its own reward I guess.

A few years ago, I received a death threat via e-mail. This person knew my name and could easily have found out where I lived. He lived in another city only a few miles away. The local police were clearly unmoved when I asked them to take a report. For reasons which are complicated, I tried the FBI. They were far more interested. They actually paid this individual a visit. The agent called me the next day and said he thought there wasn't anything to worry about -- the guy was a bit off his nut, but not really dangerous. I stopped worrying. About that, anyway.

There's a great deal of stupid bastards in the net. Sick ones.

 

[IEatApples]

I even have my MySpace in the sig… should I worry? Nah!

 

[AdeFowler]

I just don't get Instant messaging. I IM with people I know, but I'd never chat to complete strangers online anymore than I'd walk up to them in the street. It just weird to me, but I guess it might be because I'm getting old

 

[arkitect]

I just don't get Instant messaging. I IM with people I know, but I'd never chat to complete strangers online anymore than I'd walk up to them in the street. It just weird to me, but I guess it might be because I'm getting old

Same here… family and friends. But having a conversation with complete strangers is a bit odd. It's not as if you're both stuck at the bus stop waiting for the rain to end.

Sigh. I guess it is an age thing...

 

[someguy]

Out of curiosity, how did you meet this guy? Have you ever met him in person?

Never in person. He IMed me out of the blue after I posted my screen name in a craigslist ad as a method of contact.

 

[progx]

If he breaks into your house, anything you do to him is perfectly legal. As long as it's in self-defense.

I'd recommend telling the police. They should be able to investigate the person, gaining intel on him and haul him off before he finds you.

 

[Mammoth]

Just buy a gun. And call the cops so you don't have to waste your time with some fool.

 

[Victor ch]

Hi,

Seems to me he's just a bit crazy, but hey get a good door lock, one of those nice see-thru-the-door thing and a gun.

BTW: Just kidding chances are he's just lonely or weird and likes to scare people, i'll be cool. He's like one of those You're the 999,999 visitor!! ad, just learn to ignore them

-Victor

 

[Mac Kiwi]

My guess is he does this often just to get people to talk to him.You will not be the only one he will move onto someone new after he is shut down,he probably does this once a week and even cant remember how many people hes hassled.

 

[Osarkon]

Most people you have to worry about do not make threats.

I agree with this quote. For example, you get nigerian scammers cursing you with voodoo curses and death threats if you annoy them, it's all bluster.

It's the quiet ones you need to worry about...

 

[gazelleintense]

sites like myspace can be dangerous... I had a guy threaten me on there once, I stopped using the site...

lucky for me, I had a empty profile... fake info.... call me paranoid I guess. lol i used fake city, everything.

people, especially kids, need to understand that things you say online are not always private.. .dont put anything online that you dont want others to know about..

including your picture... that can be used against you too....

 

[wordmunger]

dont put anything online that you dont want others to know about..

including your picture... that can be used against you too....

Also, don't drive a car, don't get on public transit, don't go to parks, or clubs, or restaurants, or the grocery store...

... aw, heck, don't even leave the house. There are scary things out there. I would also recommend against going downstairs. There are more bugs on the first floor of your house than on the second floor.

 

[IJ Reilly]

Also, don't drive a car, don't get on public transit, don't go to parks, or clubs, or restaurants, or the grocery store...

... aw, heck, don't even leave the house. There are scary things out there. I would also recommend against going downstairs. There are more bugs on the first floor of your house than on the second floor.

And whatever you do, don't open the closet!

Seriously, I don't want to make light of this situation, knowing from personal experience how creepy it can be. Incidents like this can be difficult to shake off. But you can take a sort of grim satisfaction in knowing that however significant your problems may appear to be on any given day, that some have it far worse, every day.

 

[someguy]

Well it's been a few weeks and I'm still very much alive (in case anyone was wondering).

But I've got to say, I've always been paranoid to some degree but since this happened I've really been a wreck. Not all the time but from time to time I really start to worry again and it makes my heart race.

I'm tempted to talk to him again but that's probably the last thing I should do, eh?

Comments, please.

 

[zioxide]

Just buy a knife or something and carry it with you. Then if anyone tries to **** with you, knife them.

As long as the blade is 3 inches or less its legal to have because it would be a pocket knife.

 

[someguy]

I'm not so sure feeling like I need to be armed at all times is going to make me feel any better.

 

[Mac Kiwi]

If he has scuttled off leave him for gawds sake!....he will be hassling someone else.

 

[IEatApples]

I'm tempted to talk to him again but that's probably the last thing I should do, eh?

Comments, please.

Are you completely insane?

I sure hope that was a joke and not a serious question?

 

[heaven]

Well it's been a few weeks and I'm still very much alive (in case anyone was wondering).

But I've got to say, I've always been paranoid to some degree but since this happened I've really been a wreck. Not all the time but from time to time I really start to worry again and it makes my heart race.

I'm tempted to talk to him again but that's probably the last thing I should do, eh?

Comments, please.

What for?? Why do you want to talk to him again???
I don't think that thats a good idea.. Everything will start over again

 

[someguy]

What for?? Why do you want to talk to him again???

I guess I just want to hear him say that he was messing with me. But I suppose it isn't very likely that he'd say that.

 

[wordmunger]

And whatever you do, don't open the closet!

Seriously, I don't want to make light of this situation, knowing from personal experience how creepy it can be. Incidents like this can be difficult to shake off. But you can take a sort of grim satisfaction in knowing that however significant your problems may appear to be on any given day, that some have it far worse, every day.

My only point was that anonymizing yourself online isn't going to protect you from any number of dangers. It's extremely unlikely that someone will decide to physically harm you based solely on the fact that they know your real name.

Thousands of people know your name. You're very likely listed in the phone book under your real name. Finding out your real name isn't what makes people cross the line and physically attack you.

PZ Myers, the influential biologist who I blog with at ScienceBlogs, has received dozens of threatening emails due to his pro-evolution, anti-religion rants. But no one has ever physically threatened him in person. Anyone who reads his blog knows his name, where he works, even the names of his kids.

I'm not saying you need to be as "public" about your identity as PZ, but realize that even very high profile individuals, who receive lots of threats, rarely see them followed through.

 

[apb3]

If he breaks into your house, anything you do to him is perfectly legal. As long as it's in self-defense.

I'd recommend telling the police. They should be able to investigate the person, gaining intel on him and haul him off before he finds you.

One does have a duty to retreat however...

KNow someone that got into some trouble for ignoring that little part of self-defense.