Today was supposed to be my wedding day...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by yoda13, May 20, 2006.

  1. yoda13 macrumors 65816

    yoda13

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    #1
    Well, today was supposed to be my wedding day and it got cancelled at the last minute. It wasn't a mutual decision either... I really love this girl, but for reasons I shouldn't go into, it just felt wrong, and has been feeling that way for a few weeks now... Anyway, I am feeling really really low and she hates me now, (of course, i would too) and I needed to share with someone...
     
  2. WildCowboy Administrator/Editor

    WildCowboy

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    #3
    Sorry to hear that. Clearly you have good reasons for calling it off, so while things may be painful now, it had to be done. It would likely have been a lot worse to delay things...
     
  3. gekko513 macrumors 603

    gekko513

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2003
    #4
    I'm sorry to hear that, but if it didn't feel right, it was certainly the right decision.

    Did you break up entirely?
     
  4. macgeek2005 macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2006
    #5
    http://www.thework.org
     
  5. Spanky Deluxe macrumors 601

    Spanky Deluxe

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, UK
    #6
    I'm so sorry for you. That's got to be tough. You said it was for reasons you shouldn't go into. Does that mean you don't want to talk about it or you shouldn't talk about it? Talking helps. I don't mean necessarily on here but to anyone.
     
  6. j26 macrumors 65832

    j26

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Location:
    Paddyland
    #8
    Ouch!!

    But still, it's better off now rather than going through with something you're not happy about and realising later that you shouldn't have. Life gets really messy then, and it would be far worse than it is now.

    I was engaged and it broke up (not at the last minute though). We got back together after about six months when we'd both decided what we wanted, and now we're married with a little daughter. Had we gone through with it we probably would have ended up divorced as the doubts and issues would have never been resolved. It's a brave thing to do, but if it's the right thing you have to do it.


    Chin up. :)
     
  7. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #9
    I agree with everyone above.

    There are vastly more people who wished they'd followed their feelings and cancelled a wedding at the last minute than there are people who cancelled the wedding and later wished they hadn't.... It's hard now, but in five years, no matter what happens, this will have been the right decision, because you would never have done something so difficult if it were not.
     
  8. quigleybc macrumors 68030

    quigleybc

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2005
    Location:
    Beautiful Vancouver British Columbia, Canada
    #10
    The guilt over hurting her will pass...

    You probably did the right thing.

    And now it's done.

    So, try and find a way to move forward.
     
  9. leftbanke7 macrumors 6502a

    leftbanke7

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2004
    Location:
    West Valley City, Utah
    #11
    I did something along those lines, but most definately not a big as your situation. last night. I told a girl I really cared about that I couldn't have her in my life under the current circumstances.

    While I can't say I know you feel exactly, I can say I understand the situation and how hard it can be to do something like that.

    But like most everybody has said, it'll take some time and it'll get a little easier with each passing day.

    Good luck to you.
     
  10. amacgenius macrumors 68000

    amacgenius

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Location:
    Buffalo, NY
    #12
    Ouch, I'm sorry, your to-be-not-anymore wife if she really loved you would understand the reasons and be accepting, but this doesn't seem to be the case.

    Makes you see who really loves you I guess. :eek:
     
  11. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #13
    I don't think that's quite fair. I'm sure it was a shock, and, given all the preparations and guests on their way, an embarrassment. Not to mention hurtful.

    I think the right thing was done, but don't fault her for being upset. It has nothing to do with loving him or not.
     
  12. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Location:
    The Mergui Archipelago
    #14
    Don't worry at all about her hating you. You've done the best by her - it was a brave decision and she'll eventually come round to seeing it as such even if she has trouble expressing those thoughts.

    Just concentrate on yourself for now. Think about where you want your life to go. Sit low for a few weeks and I'd definitely se a counsellor. It's fantastic to talk through your feelings with a professional who is completely impartial and not clouded by any emotion. It'll get you back on track a hell of a lot more quickly.
     
  13. amacgenius macrumors 68000

    amacgenius

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Location:
    Buffalo, NY
    #15
    I'm not passing the blame on her, I'm just saying she could have been a little more supportive, wether she did "hate" him or not, she just could have maybe looked at why (if she knew) the reasons why he called it off and tried to understand a little more than just flying off the handle.

    Sorry if I came off too strong and bias.
     
  14. jsw Moderator emeritus

    jsw

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2004
    Location:
    Andover, MA
    #16
    I'm sure things will calm down... I was just saying her immediate reaction was normal. :)
     
  15. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    #17
    She's jilted at the altar — give her some credit for not ripping the guy from limb to limb.
     
  16. gekko513 macrumors 603

    gekko513

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2003
    #18
    If someone called off their wedding with me right before the big day, being supportive would definitely not be the first thing on my mind. I agree with jsw.

    Only time will tell what happens when things settle down a bit.
     
  17. amacgenius macrumors 68000

    amacgenius

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Location:
    Buffalo, NY
    #19
    I understand her being upset, and yes it's normal, but I just hope that she can clear her head and think this through and give him another chance (maybe not marriage) but be there for him and try and not rip him to shreds ;).

    *Quietly walks away from thread, because he is only 16 and has no real knowledge on this subject.*
     
  18. 2nyRiggz macrumors 603

    2nyRiggz

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2005
    Location:
    Thank you Jah...I'm so Blessed
    #20
    Sorry to hear man....I feel her pain man....r u two still together or does she want to shoot you on site?


    Bless
     
  19. iTwitch macrumors 6502a

    iTwitch

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    East of the Mississippi
    #21
    Reminds me of a headline I saw on Drudge yesterday. Something like woman rips husbands testicles off with bare hands. Maybe they shouldn't have married either?
     
  20. pseudobrit macrumors 68040

    pseudobrit

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    Jul 23, 2002
    Location:
    Jobs' Spare Liver Jar
    #22
    Another chance at what? When it's over, it's best to make a clean break of it. First chances are usually blown for a good reason; second chances that work are for the movies.

    While it may be wise to avoid commenting further, it might behoove you to stay and listen.
     
  21. thedude110 macrumors 68020

    thedude110

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    #23
    I'm so sorry, yoda13.

    I wish I could say something that's not a platitude, do something to carry you through what must be a terribly difficult time (and day).

    Please know that just as you needed to speak, there are so many willing to listen.
     
  22. Boggle macrumors 6502

    Boggle

    #24
    Wow! I'm so sorry you had to make that decision. It could not have been easy. Hopefully, both of you have some close friends around each of you b/c nobody should have to go through this kind of experience alone.

    Good luck to you.
     
  23. pseudobrit macrumors 68040

    pseudobrit

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2002
    Location:
    Jobs' Spare Liver Jar
    #25
    But are you in love with this girl? There's a distinction.
     

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