Top Ten Coolest Microsoft "Zune" Features

Discussion in 'Apple, Industry and Internet Discussion' started by VanNess, Jul 28, 2006.

  1. macrumors 6502a

    VanNess

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Location:
    California
    #1
    10) Songs are in stereo!

    9) Free six month subscription to Businessweek Magazine!

    8) Congratulatory phone call upon purchase from Barry Manilow! (pre- recorded and void where prohibited by law or good taste)

    7) Users have choice! Zune will operate with any of the seven or so different versions of Vista when it ships (Note: Zune requires Vista and monthly subscription to iZunes Music Store. XP and below not supported. Other operating systems not supported)

    6) Seamlessly plugs into the "revolutionary" new Microsoft speaker box, the Microsoft Hi-Ho!

    5) Displays an animation of Steve Ballmer throwing a conference room chair when the battery needs recharging!

    4) Player hard drive needs to be defragmented only once a week!

    3) Player comes with free remote control! You can now operate your Zune wirelessly for the entire length of your earbud cord!

    2) We listen to our users! Entire selection of downloadable videos on Zune: Nothin but porn, buddy!

    And the Number One Coolest New Zune Feature...

    Stealth mode: Player becomes invisible when not in use! (note: Warranty will not cover lost Zune player(s))
     
  2. macrumors 68040

    Killyp

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    #2

    :D :D :D :D
     
  3. macrumors 68020

    G5Unit

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Location:
    I'm calling the cops
    #3
    :) :confused: :eek: :mad: :rolleyes: :cool: :p ;) :D :eek:REALY OMG TEH ZUNE PLAYZ TA UBER MUZIK IN UBER STERO MUSTNT NED SOM HAX0R?!?

    haha needed to do that
     
  4. macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Location:
    Australia
    #4
    LoL!! I like it.
     
  5. macrumors 6502a

    Benjamin

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2003
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #5
    I think it needs a feature that when it blue screens that ballmer comes on saying developers will fix it with his mantra (you tube link).
     
  6. macrumors 68000

    tominated

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2006
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    #6
    lol:D
     
  7. Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2004
    Location:
    Grand Rapids, MI, USA
    #7
    One would think the Zune project is enough of a lost cause that you wouldn't have to make all of this up. ;)
     
  8. macrumors 603

    iSaint

    Joined:
    May 26, 2004
    Location:
    South Mississippi y'all, near the water!
    #8
    Well dang, we just lost KT on that one alone! :D
     
  9. macrumors 6502a

    jlewis2k1

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    in your closet
    #9
    is steve bullmer really that pathetic? it seriously made me want to cry.
     
  10. macrumors 68040

    Killyp

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    #10
    Go onto video.google.com and search for Steve Ballmer. He is a really embarrasing guy. I hope they blur him out in the next Microsoft conference...
     
  11. macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #11
    Very true - the man is an ape. Stand him next to Steve or even Bill and it's like a true-life version of those ape to man evolution pictures.

    Sweaty, loud, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breather. No wonder Microsoft isn't performing as well as it could be. They need someone inspirational at the helm, Steve is a hissy-fit throwing control freak but he inspires the staff to do their best - I'd rather a creative genius prone to volcanic outbursts than a big bully with no thoughts of his own.

    I'd prefer Bill to Ballmer any day - Bill, though not my favourite person at least comes across as someone genuinely affable but Ballmer just looks like he wants to punch someone.
     
  12. macrumors 68040

    Killyp

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    #12
    All that sweat too! Any blind idiot would be able to see just what an idiot this guy is. It's like putting Dick & Dom in charge of defense....
     
  13. macrumors 6502a

    SuperCompu2

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2006
    Location:
    MA
    #13
    the clickwheel should feature ctrl, alt, del, and play/pause for max functionality

    :eek:
     
  14. macrumors G4

    Chundles

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2005
    #14
    Nah - that's not the Microsoft Way™.

    "Announced today, the Zune™ is available with an optional input device that plugs into the zPort™ on the base of the device that allows for more efficient use of the player. The zBoard™ has three distinct buttons that allow the user to fully exploit the power of the Microsoft™ Zune™"

    [​IMG]
     
  15. macrumors 68040

    Kingsly

    #15
    ... what thay need is someone rational at the helm.

    I particularly liked feature 7 and 5. :D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvbWLfr-Z4s&NR
     
  16. macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2006
    #16
    Steve jobs is one of the most creative CEOs in the world.

    He isn't a fat, sweaty, idotic lunatic.

    UGH.

    Plus, he has cancer, and he is still calm and healthy.
     
  17. macrumors 6502a

    jlewis2k1

    Joined:
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    Location:
    in your closet
    #17
    if i were the owner of MS i would be kicking steve bullmer out just cause he has lots of anger management problems. not only would i do that but clean up the business ALOT.
     
  18. macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Location:
    UK
    #18

    He's the new CEO :eek:

    Microsoft are doomed!! ;)
     
  19. macrumors 68040

    Killyp

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    #19
    Yep! Isn't Micro$oft great? I can't wait until the next time they do that thing on the news about the new version of Windows, and Steve Ballmer appears jumping around like the stage is a trampoline...
     
  20. macrumors 6502a

    Benjamin

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2003
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #20
    Don't you mean throw chairs around? Link, read the quotes. ;)
     
  21. macrumors G3

    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    #21
    *reads #8*

    *throws powerbook into trash*

    I'll see y'all at the dell kiosk later. :D

    it's true! :)
     
  22. macrumors member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2003
    Location:
    Lisbon, VRSA,...
    #22
    how about this feature: "is better than ipod"?
    i don't think that ipod is revolutionary enough to alow this type of dull humor.

    why is apple throwing away features that are found in hacks as ipodlinux? simply, money from thirty parties.
     
  23. macrumors G5

    yg17

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    #23
    Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
     

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