WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor)

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by wdlove, Jun 28, 2004.

  1. wdlove macrumors P6

    wdlove

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    #1
    Men learn to listen to their spouses on big purchases


    By Kimberly Blanton, Globe Staff *|* June 28, 2004


    It is a bitter memory for Cameron Smith. He was 25 and newly married. While his wife worked one Saturday, he bought himself an $800 stereo with a credit card, set it up, and spent a blissful afternoon on the futon couch, listening to REM and the Grateful Dead.

    But a thought occurred to him while driving that evening to pick up his wife: how to explain the stereo?

    "We came in, and I said, 'Look what I bought, honey!' She took one look at me and said, 'That can go back, right?' Maybe it was more like, 'That can go back.' "

    The stereo went back. "I learned my lesson," said Smith, a manager at LNS Communications in Cambridge who will be married 10 years in August.

    "We were newly married with no money to be spending on stereos," said Gretchen Smith.

    All men know it, though few will volunteer that they are under its spell: Wife Acceptance Factor.

    Men like toys, electronics, sports cars, golf memberships. Then they get married, and wives have a say, even veto power. Torn between their own desires and preserving their marriages, the men of the new millennium are learning about WAF.

    http://www.boston.com/business/personalfinance/articles/2004/06/28/waf_wife_acceptance_factor/
     
  2. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2004
    #2
    ha...my girlfriend and i (we are pretty serious) have been living together basically since we started going out, and we figured out this already, i mean if two people are going to co-exist together they both have to be willing to accept and deal with one another, ect. However, i not only have "WAF" but she has my acceptance factor as well, she likes exercise equipment and cameras ect and i like computers, so i guess we are balanced
     
  3. King Cobra macrumors 603

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    Mar 2, 2002
    #3
  4. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

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    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    #4
    It is something those of us understand very well in the photography sector. the wife drives the purchase decision in many cases.

    In the other portion, the wife has spending habits that balance out the husbands purchasing decision.

    In our house my partner spends thousands each year on clothes and kitchen stuff, and i on computers and camera gear. I love pointing out that in many cases I am to deduct some purchases on taxes while he can't :D
     
  5. MacDawg macrumors P6

    MacDawg

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    #5
    Ha! My wife still wonders why I replaced my Mac II because "it still works doesn't it?" If it were up to her, there would never be ANY purchases of any kind. "What if we need the money for something else?"

    I'll admit that I am not the wisest in financial matters, but I believe we need to live too... if everything is stifled, then life becomes a drudgery... hmmmmmm come to think of it...

    The WAF needs to be considered if you want harmony in the home.
     
  6. agreenster macrumors 68000

    agreenster

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    Dec 6, 2001
    Location:
    Walt Disney Animation Studios
    #6
    Yep. I went through a 6 month request period before I got my G5. I had to state my case, and pay my pennance before I was permitted to plunk down the change.

    But my wife is a jewelry nut, and she has to wait before she gets what she wants as well...but not as long for some reason.... :confused:
     
  7. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
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    Location:
    VA
    #7
    For all you married men - how much a month, that's right, a month do they spend on hair, manicure, pedicure, etc?

    For me, it would only take my wife several months to spend that $800.....

    Its all relative, compromise and don't make any purchases without discussing it with the S.O. - and that goes both ways.

    D
     
  8. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

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    Dec 25, 2003
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    Northern Virginia
    #8
    Though roles are reversed right now. My partner is saying that I should get a G5 since it would be faster than my PB 12". Faster is always nice, but that brings to issue my porting of files between the desktop and laptop for work. Not too mention do we really need one more computer in the house? We already have four (two laptops - one mac one PC, and two PC desktops - though my PC desktop is soon to be history. I like the Mac too much to even bother with Windows any more).
     
  9. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

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    Dec 25, 2003
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    Northern Virginia
    #9
    Can't count that by my partners words.

    I guess that is where he and I differ. I would rather using your number have something to show for my $800, even though after a year it may be worth $100.
     
  10. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #10
    My G5 purchase request has been going on for longer - I'm just glad we're moving so we'll have a little extra cash from selling the house for my G5 setup:D

    I'm a little annoyed that the 23" LCDs are still 1999 - I'll probably buy the 20s instead now and get the new graphics card :D

    D
     
  11. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

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    Nov 1, 2001
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    VA
    #11
    Sorry, that's not fair for you then. So you have to go out and get the equal amounts of personal treatment or start counting. Now if you're all using the same money, it might be a bigger deal, but if its their own money, that might be a bit different.

    D
     
  12. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

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    #12
    I believe the phrase he uses is, "what is mine is mine, and what is yours is mine". :D
     
  13. phgreer macrumors regular

    phgreer

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    Jul 18, 2002
    Location:
    Greenville, SC
    #13
    I have found sort of a loophole. My wife is very frugal and is a stickler about keeping to a budget (actually I'm very thankful for this because we do have a good bit in saving, paid off major debts and now that I will be "between jobs" soon it will make things easier) However we also started a home business a while back and this allows me to enjoy such things a digital cameras, new computers, neat software, etc. and yes we are actually using those things for business purposes doing thing both of us enjoy while making some money on the side.

    I might be hard to justify buying a stereo but I've been able to enjoy my Mac because of this "loophole". I guess technically it's not a loophole since I can't justify everything I would enjoy but I thankful I can make some money on the side with things I enjoy as well.
     
  14. Chip NoVaMac macrumors G3

    Chip NoVaMac

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    #14
    Sort of the loophole that I have. Since my Mac and most computer gear can and is used for work I get to deduct it as a home office expenses. Not much, but it helps.
     
  15. mactastic macrumors 68040

    mactastic

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    Location:
    Colly-fornia
    #15
    Haha... while my toys are certainly more expensive (even though she just got an iBook in Dec) she buys her share of stuff too. She just buys more of the sub-$100 toys. I prefer to save up and buy things like a new tablesaw.... or a new truck to haul it home in. ;)

    In addition, we both are addicted to hiking and backpacking, and that kind of gear isn't cheap either. Particularly when you have to buy two of everything.

    We're both pretty tolerant of each other's spending habits.
     
  16. wdlove thread starter macrumors P6

    wdlove

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    Oct 20, 2002
    #16
    I happen to be the one that is frugal. Pay credit card off in full each month. Our only debt is our Home Equity. My wife is the one that likes to spend. She is encouraging me to purchase a new G5. Wants the works.
     
  17. MongoTheGeek macrumors 68040

    MongoTheGeek

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    Its not so much where you are as when you are.
    #17
    That is close to how it is for us. I wasn't so much frugal as there was nothing that I wanted.
     
  18. howard macrumors 68020

    howard

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2002
    #18
    isn't it obvious?

    split all bills equally the rest is whatever you have leftover and you can do whatever you want with it.

    i do however think its good to run expensive purchases by your partner and also save for those fun things together. but in the end i think as long as you contribute to the needs you should be able to spend your money they way you want to.
     
  19. Sparky's macrumors 6502a

    Sparky's

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    Feb 11, 2004
    #19
    For what it's worth, been there and eat S*** if you don't like it! I make the money in this household and I will buy what I want. We (myself and my 3 ex-wives) have always kept separate accounts. The important bills, mortgage, utilities and such always got paid on time. If she wanted a certain dress and pair of shoes, then she bought it from her money, if I wanted a new rear axle for a 4x4 I was working on it came out of my money. case closed, no arguments. If it was there and it was wanted, it was done.

    OK a bit chauvinistic, but I still open the door for her :D
     
  20. Sparky's macrumors 6502a

    Sparky's

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2004
    #21
    OK d*** serious. If you don't have it then don't spend it!

    Can I be anymore clear? What my post said was, I spend my money, she spends her money. If it ain't there then it ain't got! Understand?

    Bottom line, don't be a wuss but don't go out of bounds ;)

    There is no "I wear the pants" in a marriage, you are both equal partners, so act like it :D
     
  21. CmdrLaForge macrumors 68040

    CmdrLaForge

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    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    around the world
    #22
    I can feel with you.For every expensive electronic equipment purchase ( I like Macs and cameras ) I have to prepare my wife quite a while in advance. I like to buy a new Powerbook in about a year and I already started telling her about it and why I need it.

    And once a month she starts counting what I have purchased in the last 4 years.

    Thats the way it is.
     
  22. Roger1 macrumors 65816

    Roger1

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Location:
    Michigan
    #23
    One trick I learned is to let her think that she decided we need it. :) Or tell her I need it for school. :p




    edit:spelling
     
  23. King Cobra macrumors 603

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    Mar 2, 2002
    #24
    Whoa, sparky does have a dark side!

    [​IMG]
     
  24. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2001
    Location:
    VA
    #25
    ah, but you see, its not always that simple. each of you has different priorities. what would you do in a situation where you had the money to get a new mac that you needed for work but your wife needed something equally expensive for something of hers? Compromise is as important here as anything else, especially if you didn't have enough money to cover both expenses.

    working up to the purchase, letting your spouse know you need something expensive months before you buy it is a good way to make sure your need is understood. being a hard ass about it would only cause problems, especially if you're unwavering in your decision.

    in my case, I'm not providing the sole income, so its a bit different than your situation - but in the end we're still all sharing the wealth.

    D
     

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